23/09/2026
If I was still a child, and did nothing all day long but sat in front of my piano. I would get a nagging from my mum for wasting my time or my life away. Now I am a mother, and I have sat at my piano all day on Monday and sat at my handpan all day yesterday. Yes, I still feel the guilt of not being productive, that I should be doing something else. Washing my kids laundry, folding away the clothes, cooking a meal, or vacuuming the house, or more admin or marketing work at the computer.
But I just did not feel all that. I wanted to sit at the piano. I wanted to play the handpan. So I did. No one to nag me but myself. It was not a waste of time. It was soul nourishment that I needed. My inner child needed it. So I did. My body still carries that guilt of a feeling of a waste of time for playing music, but now my heart knows better. I am learning to honour myself, my needs, regardless of what the world expects from me.
A recent conversation with an 11yr old boy who came for a sleepover with my son was enlightening. He plays the guitar, bass and keyboard. He said learning an instrument needs practice, when I shared that my daughter Luna has not been practicing her drums. I admire his dedication to his music and it was a good reminder for me to practice and play everyday. I wish I had played music as a child and had support from my parents back then. But life circumstances weren’t ideal. Now I’m a grown ass woman. So I decide how I spend my time. If it means a few extra dirty laundry loads, so be it. Nobody ever died from dirty clothes, or a few instant meals. 🤷♀️
I am remembering that my passion matters. Some days, that’s enough.
