14/02/2023
Many of us feel overwhelmed. It's a human experience. We all need strategies to cope, adjust, and move through this state because staying in overwhelm for a long time negatively impacts our health, well-being, performance, and relationships.
The meaning of the word overwhelm is to be bury or drown beneath a huge mass of something, and to have a strong emotional effect upon someone (thanks oxford dictionary :))
So, when we experience overwhelm, our brain is shouting
>> I think I am going to drown
>> I think I am going to be buried
>> I can’t keep up, I’m not (_______) enough
>> I can’t do all of the things I need to do
>> I am going to fail
>> (a.k.a... THREAT THREAT THREAT)
I know this state, pretty well. It does not feel good.
🤯😟😥
Underneath this response, however, our systems are trying to tell us things like
>> I am tired, or exhausted
>> I feel disorganised, or unprepared
>> I don’t think I have the skills/knowledge I need
>> I don’t think I have the resource/time/support I need
>> I am under a lot of pressure / taking on too much
>> My emotions are surging
>> My processes are not effective
And these are all things that we can do something about.
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Here are 5 tips to manage overwhelm in your life:
1. Take a short break to stop the 'doing' and the 'thinking', and during this time move to a new space. Connect with your breathing, and/or nature, and/or a person who accepts you just as you. Even if it is just for 10 minutes.
2. Acknowledge what you are feeling, even if it makes you cry as you say it out loud. Crying is part of processing, and processing helps us move forward.
3. Try to identify the cause of the overwhelm. It is unlikely that there is a true danger of physical drowning or being buried, so what is this overwhelm trying to tell us? Scan the examples above if you like, or talk things through with a friend or colleague.
4. Address this cause of the overwhelm. When you recognise "oh yeah, that is it" (and it might be a combination of things), this gives you an opportunity to take action. 🌱 Exhausted? You've gotta prioritise rest and/or ways to refuel. 🌱 Unprepared? Push non-essentials to the side and focus on something that will make a big difference, or reassure yourself that no top achievers ever felt totally prepared. 🌱 Don't think you have the skills you need? Make a plan to learn those skills, or collaborate with someone who has them. 🌱 Surging emotions? Schedule in time for yourself to decompress, write down what you are feeling, and communicate. 🌱 Inefficient processes? Reflect and tweak systems, ask a second party to review with you. 👉 You don't need to 'fix' everything at once, but taking just one 'next step' will reduce overwhelm significantly.
5. Be kind to yourself. Not only can overwhelm cause us to stop and keep us stuck, it can also trigger a second wave of negative self-talk about how terrible we must be that things have gotten to this point, or highly critical scolding about what we 'should' be able to do but instead we are (insert mean words). We must interrupt this narrative and give ourselves a break. We are human and imperfect. We are learning. We are trying. We have value to offer our work, families and communities. We have limits and that is okay. Plus, it is not just you - LOTS of people and experience overwhelm and the ensuing negative thinking before breaking down, resetting, and moving forward again - but most don't let others see them struggle and work through these times. ❤️ Recent data shows that more than half of NZers have felt stressed to the point where it has had an impact on how they live their daily life (56%) and where they felt like they could not cope (53%). We are in this together.
👉If you are struggling to action steps #4 or #5, that's okay, circle back to #1 and repeat :)
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Need help? Feel free to ask a Q in the comments or flick me a message xx
And/or talk to a friend, family member, colleague, helpline, or mental health professional about what you are feeling. I cannot underscore the value of talking to someone and realising that it's not just you, and that you don't need to solve everything yourself.
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And please share this post if you think it might help someone else too x