The Sola Destiny

It’s crazy how many young people now think they need love to breathe. Like, without someone calling them baby or texting “I miss you”, they suddenly feel empty. But here’s the truth nobody tells you you don’t need love to survive, You need sense, You need vision, You need peace.
Some of you came to school to study but ended up studying someone’s mood swings, is that suppose to even be a course of study 🤔 You were meant to carry books, now you’re carrying relationship problems and hawking it. You wake up early, not to read, but to cook for someone who barely values the effort, you’re washing clothes, washing plates, doing wife or husband duties for a person who might not even remember your birthday next year. Like who did this to you?????
And for what? So you won’t “lose them”?
Sweetheart, what if, in trying not to lose them, you lose you?
There are students who no longer attend classes because they can’t “leave bae alone.”
Some can’t concentrate because their minds are in another hostel, worrying about someone who’s not even worrying about them.
You’ll see people skipping lectures to go visit, arguing all night, crying over calls, and then writing carryovers they could have avoided.

This generation has romanticized distraction.
We call obsession “love.” We call foolishness “commitment.”
We’re giving our emotions to people who haven’t even found themselves yet then crying when it all collapses.

Please hear this: love isn’t supposed to drain you, Love shouldn’t make you forget your dreams. Real love helps you grow while fake love clips your wings.

If your relationship is taking more from you than it’s giving, it’s not love it’s a trap. Do not let relationship bury what you've got inside of you.

So pause…
Look at yourself
Look at your grades
Look at your peace
If they’ve been dropping since you fell in love maybe what you’re in isn’t love at all.

If you have to lose yourself just to keep someone, what’s the point of being with them in the first place?

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The Vibe Is Me and It’s Called Alignment.

Over time, I’ve learned that success isn’t about chasing every opportunity or following every trend. It’s about becoming so aligned with your purpose that peace becomes your default setting.

As a career coach and an academic mentor, I’ve seen how clarity changes everything your confidence, your composure, even your presence. When you walk in purpose, your energy starts speaking before you do.

You don’t just dress with style, you move with the intention of building in silence, growing with gratitude, and glowing through alignment.
The real vibe is when purpose meets preparation and that’s where transformation begins.

Excellence is your watchword, you are not created a mediocre nor to be at the mercy of what ever you do.
As a student, you are confident, you are bold, you are smart, you are intelligent. This isn't just a confession, its a reality that you need to believe in and walk in, you can do all things through Christ that strengthens you.....

The Sola Destiny

THE FEAR OF LOOKING WEAK

One of the most dangerous trap most people fall into is the fear of looking weak and in a work where fake is more recognized than original, where pretence is praised more than authenticity.
This has crept quietly into the school amongst students.
“Everybody must see me as strong.”
So you struggle alone.
You keep quiet.
You pretend you’re fine.
You act like you’ve got it together.
You’re failing a course but you can’t tell anybody because you don’t want them to think you’re not smart.
You don’t understand your project topic but you keep nodding in meetings because you don’t want your supervisor to think you’re dull.
You don’t know how to navigate career decisions but you can’t ask because others look like they already figured out their life.

So you fake understanding, You fake clarity and You fake peace
But listen…
Silence is not strength
Strength is asking questions
Strength is seeking counsel
Strength is admitting “I need help” before you break

Sometimes the most intelligent students are the ones who ask the most stupid questions consistently because they don’t care about “looking weak” they care more about becoming wise.

So here is the truth:
Campus is not the place to pretend, Campus is the place to learn and nobody grows by acting like they already know.

If you dropped your pride today, who is the one person you truly need to open up to and ask for help?

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THE QUIET SPIRIT OF COMPARISON

Nobody will tell you this out loud, but comparison is one of the biggest silent killers in life. As students, we tend to be prone to compare ourselves with ourselves
You’ll see someone speak confidently in class and suddenly your own voice feels small, You’ll see someone’s CGPA and suddenly your future starts looking blurry.

Comparison makes you question your value
Comparison makes you doubt your pace
Comparison makes you forget your unique journey

Campus will make you feel like you must be moving at the same speed with everybody else, but GROWTH IS NOT GROUP WORK, PURPOSE IS NOT A RELAY RACE AND DESTINY IS NOT AN ASSIGNMENT THAT EVERYBODY MUST SUBMIT AT THE SAME TIME.

Somebody got clarity at 17
Somebody will get clarity at 27
Somebody found direction in 100 level
Somebody will find theirs after NYSC

Nobody tells you this… but time is not your enemy.
Comparison is.

Because instead of focusing on your direction, you’re busy tracking another person’s lane. And when you’re comparing, you’re not learning but you’re competing with a story that isn’t your script.

And here is the painful part:
Comparison makes you silent.
You stop asking questions.
You stop seeking guidance.
You start acting like you’re okay because you don’t want to look “less”.

But sometimes the reason you feel stuck is because you’re too busy watching others move, you've got to make your own move.

DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING? OR YIU ARE JUST TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH THE PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THEY ARE AHEAD?

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THE TRAP OF SILENCE SERIES - DAY 1

Youths, young adults, students there is this pressure To pretend
Let’s be honest…
A lot of people are not living… they are acting, acting in a script they wrote themselves to fit their life.

On campus, online, even in the real world, so many people are quietly drowning, but all you will ever see is the edited version they carefully present.
Some people are suffering in silence, but online they are “soft life ambassadors.”
Some people are confused about their path, but outside they are the “guy wey sabi everything.”
Some people are failing courses, crying in their room, but they will still gist like their “GPA dey steady.”

We don’t talk about this enough, the pressure to pretend is very heavy, it's a burden.
Truth is no one wants to look like the one that is not doing well.
No one wants to look like the one that is still figuring things out.
No one wants to be the only one looking like life is not balancing.

In order to look the part, we package,
We cover,
We form stable,
We form “all is well.”

But this is where the trap begins:
The moment you start pretending, you start postponing your healing.
You start delaying your progress.
You start feeding the lie, instead of confronting the truth.

When you pretend to be fine, people assume you are fine… and subconsciously, they leave you alone which is not healthy for you.
The real danger is not that you’re struggling.
The real danger is that you are struggling and acting like you’re not.

Let me tell you something honestly:
There is no shame in being human
There is no shame in asking for help
There is no shame in saying “I’m not okay right now.”

The strongest people are not the ones who pretend,
the strongest people are the ones who admit their truth… and still keep going.

This series is not to expose anyone.
It’s to help us start having honest conversations, because breakthrough begins where pretending ends.

Now the question is:
What are you pretending to be okay about that is actually hurting you?
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THE TRAP OF SILENT STRUGGLES

People are going through things they don’t talk about.

Students, Undergraduates, Fresh graduates, Even working adults,
Everybody is carrying something on their chest.

We smile online. We laugh in group chats.
We reply “I’m fine” when asked “How are you?”
But inside… many are drowning quietly.
Because sometimes, silence feels safer than explaining.
Sometimes, the fear of judgment is greater than the pain itself.
Sometimes, it’s not that we don’t have anybody to talk to…
It’s that we don’t know how to talk.

So we keep suffering alone.
Hoping nobody notices.
Hoping we get through it.
Hoping we survive.

But listen to me, silent struggles are a trap.

They keep you hidden when help is available.
They make you believe you must figure it out alone.
They make you feel like vulnerability is weakness.

For the next few days, we are going to expose this thing.
We will break down some of the REAL silent battles young people face emotionally, academically, financially, spiritually.
True healing starts with understanding.

This is just the intro.
We start tomorrow.
Stay with me, this series might just save somebody.

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The fastest way to go broke on campus… is to try to look rich.
Yeah you had that right. TRYING TO LOOK RICH, TRYING TO IMPRESS THOSE WHO DO NOT EVEN CARE.

The pressure is real and I know it, Everybody wants to “belong.” Everybody wants to look like they’re living soft.

But hear this with your full chest:

If you spend your early time trying to “look” like who you are not,
you will spend more time trying to recover what you lost.

Campus has a way of making insecurity look like confidence, The drip, the lifestyle, the impressions… they’re expensive. Most people you’re trying to “impress” are also struggling silently.
My dear students, Don’t kill your future because of today’s image.

You don’t need to fake it. You don’t need to prove anything. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE LOUD TO BE VALUABLE.

There’s dignity in growing slowly, there’s nothing shameful about starting small. Being wise with money is not being stingy. It is being strategic.
Your future is bigger than one semester of packaging.

Choose sense over pressure.

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It's a new session and a lot of students just resumed 100 Level, I'll be sharing tips that would help you navigate through campus....

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30 days ago I started a journey of documenting my undergraduate days and the lessons learnt. To everyone who has undergone this stage, you all can tell it's a bittersweet feeling. Campus prepares you for real life if only you dutifully embrace it, the life you live as a student on campus is a preparation for the next life after school.
Don't think it doesn't matter, it really does matter a lot.
How do you think?
How do you act?
Who do you roll with?
Campus will test your integrity, honesty and discipline and it takes every determination to be able to live through it successfully.
To every student out there, don't loose yourself, reading and studying your books isn't just a task, it is to prepare you to be able to handle things on your own and take decisions, working with fellow students in a group only puts you in team work and effective interaction with pears.
As they always say, No knowledge is lost, every knowledge you obtain in school both inside the classroom or outside the classroom, they are very useful.
I've posted few things that at one stage on campus, you will definitely go through it.
To all student, what is worth doing is worth doing well.
Be friendly and everyone shouldn't be your friend, live within your means.
I'm The Sola Destiny
The Student's Friend, Academic Coach, career coach.

At some point in the journey, I realized something that changed everything, it’s not really about how intelligent you are, It’s not about being the smartest in the room or the most articulate during presentations, it's not about being the most social, the most connected, or even the most brilliant.

Because if it were, some people would have it all figured out by now. But look around, even the smartest people get confused sometimes, the most organized people still break down, and the strongest still feel weak that's what makes us human.

So no, it’s not by your intelligence.
It’s not by your smartness.
It’s not by your confidence, your charm, your eloquence, or your strategy.
It’s by Grace.

It’s by the embrace of Him who loves you unending, the One who holds you when you can’t hold yourself, The One who gives you understanding when your brain feels blocked.
The One who gives peace when anxiety won’t let you sleep, The One who makes things work when they should have scattered.

Sometimes we forget that He’s been the backbone all along, behind every success, every breakthrough, every “I passed!” moment.
Even the days you didn’t pray, He still kept you.
Even the moments you doubted, He still showed mercy.

So as you stand at the edge of this phase, remember:
It was never really your power that brought you this far, It was never your might.
It was His hand, His grace, His mercy holding, helping, and carrying you.

YOU’RE NOT LUCKY, YOU’RE HELPED.
And that’s something to never forget.

If you have any questions or comments, please post them in the comments section. 💬

DAY 29 OF DOCUMENTING MY UNDERGRADUATE JOURNEY AND THE LESSONS LEARNT

Nobody really prepares you for that strange space between being a student and becoming a graduate. One moment you’re submitting your last assignment, the next, everyone suddenly wants to know, “What’s next?”
while it sounds like a normal question, it starts to feel heavier each time you hear it, especially when you don’t have a clear answer yet.
Parents want to see results.
Friends seem to be moving faster.
Social media keeps feeding you with the highlight reels of people who seem to have their life figured out.
And in the middle of all that noise, you start questioning yourself “am I doing enough? Am I even ready for life after this?”
It’s a quiet kind of pressure, it does not shout, but to be honest, it sits heavy on your chest.
But here’s what I’ve learned; it’s okay to not have everything figured out right now.
You’re not lazy. You’re not lost. You’re just learning your own rhythm and that’s very fine.
Still, here’s the truth many people don’t say yes, it’s okay to breathe, but don’t sleep on yourself, don't just watch, don't just be a personal who doesn't know what to do with life, Because while peace is good, preparation is better.
The world won’t wait for you to “get ready,” If you don't plan for life, life will plan for you, so even in the midst of uncertainty, start exploring.
Ask yourself questions: What do I enjoy? What can I build on? What am I good at?
You may not have a complete map, but even a small direction is better than none.
I remember one night after my final exams, everyone around me was talking about NYSC, Canada, business, and jobs, I just sat there, staring at the ceiling. I didn’t have all the answers, but I promised myself one thing: I might not know it all, but I’ll start with something. I’ll find my lane, and I’ll grow from there.
The expectations will come, the pressure will rise, the questions won’t stop, don’t let it drown your peace and don’t let peace become an excuse for doing nothing.

📌 Lesson for today:
It’s okay to breathe, but don’t stop building.
You may not have figured everything out, but make sure you’re figuring you out.
Because finding yourself before life starts calling is one of the best gifts you can give your future.



DAY 28 OF DOCUMENTING MY UNDERGRADUATE JOURNEY AND THE LESSONS LEARNT

Photo Credit: Oluwafemi Dominion