Isaiah Aniedi

It's wisdom to know when a friendship or relationship isn't healthy for you anymore.

Maybe it was worth it at the beginning but as time goes on, the demand on who you'll love to share your life with drifts away from the person. And that's fine...

What you may just witness could be purpose trying to find its place in your choices and you have to give it a chance.

I still have some friends that I'm not deeply connected anymore...and it's fine.

Even if they're now trying so hard to be closer to me like before, the connectivity doesn't seem to work.

What has changed?

It's me telling myself that I have changed and my perspective toward life and friendship have also changed.

I simply admit that early enough before it causes havoc to my personality.

Why is it that people do grow above certain habits and lifestyles but rarely on friendship? When a certain relationship starts to influence you negatively it's wisdom to take a break and take some few steps backward.

Sometimes you need to make a conscious decision to separate yourself from the person. They're no longer contributing anything positive to your life, and not are you to theirs. The most important thing is to recognize that this is happening.

Don't keep fighting the tide if it's not going to have any effect. You have to let go, and move on.

It can be disheartening when a good relationship dies, but you will only make things worse if you keep trying to hang on to something that has gone. Sometimes talking to a friend and telling how you feel might be the best option making sure to explain how comfortable you're with the relationship or whether it's profitable for both of you.

And hear things out yourself...some may either shock you. I think I once shared this story of a lady who happened to be in 6 years relationship with a guy only to hear from him that they were just friends.

That broke her heart when she told me. Omor!

Hearing from the horse's mouth can serve you a whole lot of stress.

Don't fight but just a talk can explains things much better to you.
Maybe you can't tell whether your friend is thinking the same thing as you do and never find the courage to say it due to much resistance.

Remember, friendship or relationship is a two-way thing, and generally, if it doesn't work for one of you, it's not really working for the both of you.

Note, it may take another person time to see it but if you're the originator of what you think is right then go ahead and implement it.
Like I normally say, there are so many potential wonderful friends out there, don't waste your time or energy on a relationship that's over but you haven't found the courage to see it yet.

Remember you can outgrow certain relationships to have more beautiful life experiences.

There's something that's worst than death and it's not being able to recognize a relationship that is eating you so deep that you become less of yourself while crippling you in the direction of your dreams, goals, and even on the path of destiny.

But if your friendship is still worth it, kindly stick around and don't jeopardize it for anything in the world.

I mean nothing in the world should stand against it. Personally, I have a relationship I don't joke with. It means a whole lot to me

Sometimes certain relationships will demand you stepping out of your way before having it.

These are relationships that you know you need them and will help you arrive destiny much earlier enough. It'll definitely require your resources, time, and energy to have.

And when you finally have, you know you have gotten something precious not to joke about.

Joseph would have worked against his destiny if he had consented to Potiphar's wife request.

He would have either slowed his destiny down, make it suffer, or never arrived at what God told him.

Making sure that you're working hand in hand to see the fulfillment of what God told you is solely up to you.

It's not God to be blamed if you can't see what He has promised playing out as a result of you not sticking to your parts of the bargain. Because if you don't fail on your part God is obligated never to fail on His part of keeping to His promises for His name's sake.

Because your destiny is too small to make God fail in His word to you. He revealed a glimpse to Joseph and He must have done that to you too.

Many times you need to understand that you have business with God and you're living a life of partnership with Him.

You don't do anything you want to do, you don't go anywhere you want to go, and you don't speak the way you want to speak but in sync with your partnership modus operandi between you and God.

This will help you not to jeopardize the pathway of your destiny realization and fulfillment.

Has God said anything to you? Is there a prophecy hovering around your existence? If only you know God can't fail and your obedience to Him is 100% then you'll have all you ever wanted with time.

Your first love point to someone should include their MINDSET.

How does the person think?

Not someone you argue with all the time over unnecessary issues.

A person's thought pattern is what will draft out a unique spot between your willingness to continue a certain relationship.

Breakup (Breakfast) isn't just served, unforeseen and unfathomable choices of words sponsored it.

Not necessarily you must be in a relationship with someone that thinks like you because that'll be a clone representative of who you're.

But someone well vested in an unspeakable thought line that you can't desire for more but to be happy each time you hear them speak; too much sense whenever they open their mouth to say anything or give advice to you.

It'll come at a time in your relationship when you don't take certain decisions again until this person contributes.

The Bible put a big picture in Proverbs 27:17 by saying “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”

Who's your friend?

Who are you in a relationship with again?

Do you guys argue over nothing just to ensure arguments exist? It's a sign of no higher level of thinking amongst you.

30 mins are enough for me to determine how someone's mindset works through their choices of words.

Let it be that someone will talk to you for 30 mins without you shaming your chances of meeting the person ever again because of an unplanned moment; always be ready to face anyone with the correct choices of words.

How someone will see and perceive you the next time is determined by how well you maximize a moment you had with them through your choices of words.

Ladies also have the qualities of the man they want. While you're preparing to have your kind of a woman as a man, you must be ready to fit into her kind of man. It's not all the ladies that don't know what they want.

I was talking to one of my friends and when I asked her why she isn't in a relationship yet. She said, “I'm preparing myself by getting all the necessary knowledge.” That was rare from what I do hear most times from ladies I came across overtime on the same topic.

She was specific enough about what she wanted regardless of waiting till next year as she told me.

“She added that she haven't seen a guy that her purpose aligned with.”

That also amazed me due to the fact that it came from a smashingly pretty lady envelope with self-discipline who knows what she wanted and says them out without missing words.

Don't ever think your kind of man or woman can't be found in a person. Keep your qualities intact without giving up on them out of favoritism.

The point is that many people have been brutalized out of favoritism to a new lover. I was once there and I knew how it felt to give up your expectations because you found someone handy to love.

If you give up on those qualities it's just a matter of time before the person will start annoying you and you lose the relationship.

The point sometimes may be that you're too limited by your present environment which seems to grant you no true visibility to that right person.

Maybe you're in Uyo for instance, and you haven't even attempted to cross the boundary to see who's over there waiting to receive you with your qualities without making you feel bad for hoping too much.

Because there's someone out there carrying the qualities of who you want.

Finding the kind of person you want also entails not staying in one place over and over again.

You'll just keep recycling in the faces of the same guys and ladies that you may not like🌚

Location matters a lot and lets it not be a year-in and year-out stuff to the point that they start calling you “our wife”🏃🏿‍♂️😹

It's called creating the right visibility for yourself. Attend reputable events where you can meet high standards people.

It's important to understand my lines of words and never misinterpreted them in a casual sense.

The right visibility is my point of emphasis here.

And I hope you get it correctly: Visibility.

Sometimes it's people that'll take you to where you want and not yourself. While it's important to build yourself for people to play their parts, don't also ignore the place of building relationships with them. Sure, relationships will speak for you when built with the right people.

No admired person in an industry who has ever risen to any height no matter how hard-working they claimed to have been that doesn't understand how to win people to themselves, get their help, and speed up their relevance.

Building yourself gives you the right visibility regarding your expertise while potentially/strategically positioned people in your life take it up from there.

Some time ago, I had to bring my friend Adeyemi Taiwo Marufah to talk on “𝘽𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙍𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚”. It wasn't usual sessions but one thing every participant feed us with is the fact that they got so much value that changed their lives, and perspectives of how they see people around them.

Come to think of it, you have people all around you. What do you think they're there for? Are they just there to expand your friend's circle without helping you win if you want to? They can, but it's up to you to place certain demands on them.

I discovered people naturally move towards people that have results that they won't be ashamed of sacrificing their resources for. Are you recommendable through your results and consistency?

Can you face the crowd and defend what you're doing in your small or probably big corner? Leave the notion that you can rise without consistency and people. That's why God didn't have to place you alone on this earth, but to be surrounded by people. There's a reason.

In a relationship, it's humane to let someone go if you found out you can't love them anymore the way another person will, who may happen to be a perfect match for them than you.

It's quite humane.

Now I know what your question will be like, and it's “what if I can improve to love this person much better?”

Also understand, that if you find it difficult to love and then you or the person find someone else who doesn't take him/her much energy to love, it could be a sign to free someone who becomes too tasking for you to love.

I know, aside from challenges in your relationship being possible or maybe you're going through a trying time and you'll soon get over it. Then patiently go through it.

Note the difference.

More than that, I'm also referring to the unceasing down moments you might choose to have with this person who at first had your love in full but not anymore. You keep finding no way to rebuild what you started initially, that can be a sign to let go. It's not a sign of weakness but strength.

I believe one of the things relationship does is to help you make the right decisions and choices regardless of the mood swing playing out. Remember, you're not yet married; changes are appropriate and possible but don't be stuck to its demands when it comes for you to scale up to the higher demand of destiny.

A lady once reached out to me in pain about herself being in a relationship for 6 years with a guy who told her they were just friends and nothing more.

The lady in question was perplexed and frustrated, after spending 6 years with the guy. I could sense from her voice how frustrated and crippled her heart was, pain swallowed her up, all hope was gone, and she was more than desperate regarding her next point of action after investing so much in vain.

In my opinion, she saw the supposed relationship beyond just friendship as opposed to what/how the guy took it to be. She anticipated something different that has the potency of leading to marriage.

Considering her unceasing sacrifices throughout the long-term hopeful relationship that turned into a mess.

That may be you too. Likely given all into a relationship that later frustrated your peace of mind and makes it difficult never to love again. And it'll be important to take note of my advice ladies:

• 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽:

Don't ever think about what a relationship isn't. In order words, there's how a person thinks or registered a relationship in his mind, find out. Let them speak up for themselves and then you can count on their words if you want to.

Whoever wants to be in a relationship with you should be able to say exactly what they want without missing words. The maturity of a relationship is been determine by mindset, intentionality, and supportive actions.

• 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗮𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀:

People that don't know you won't care whether certain things apply to you or not. They go for their interests only and not yours.

• 𝗡𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁:

It's not every nice person in your life you should ever think of a relationship with; recognize the assignment they come to meet in your life and serve yourself the stress.

Every relationship is not meant for the same purpose. And you need to identify those that want to trick you astray.

• 𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗗𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽:

Your desperation isn't as good compared to the relationship you mislead yourself into. There is a relationship you can see the end from the beginning but you push yourself into unexpected commitment.

Keep your desperation aside and focus on what truly counts. They are what you truly want from a relationship.

Like being God-fearing, not rigid to improvement, and embracing every single call to love you rightly while not allowing people to take advantage of you.

• 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗧𝗼 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹:

Making a substitute for what you truly want is uncalled for. It's not a relationship that you want but healing.

New relationships sometimes don't guarantee healing from your past relationship and heartbreak. Get access to ways to be healed through the pages of the scriptures.

• 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗔 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗩𝗶𝗲𝘄:

It'll be pointless to stay in a relationship without hoping to get married. I know many people in relationships who don't know why they're there.

It's not a fun center or recreational activity to venture into under a must. Something must lead to something, from primary to secondary. Don't just be wailed out for nothing.

That's what has happened to many young people now and it's not something they don't know. They saw the necessary signs coming but intentionally refused them hoping it'll turn out as expected.

You're staying in a guy's house, cooking for him, doing laundry for him, checking when his next meal should be ready, spending a night in his house, and supporting him financially when he doesn't see you as who you claim to be.

The myth that young people can have s*x without marriage is killing society so deeply.

The freedom it gives them to take advantage of what they can't be responsible for is uncalled for.

Irresponsibility has swift into the consciousness of many young minds. But let it not be you. To sum it all up, the boyfriend/girlfriend is just a mindset you're been given to destroy your self-worth. You're more!

Thinking you can have s*x in a relationship and go court free is one of the misconceptions you can't afford to bear; you can't do away with the bond in the course of any s*xual in*******se.

S*x before marriage is sometimes a trap to do away with your self-esteem, worth, value, principle to life, and your fellowship to God. Again, you're more!

If you truly love people you'll always allow having s*x with them to slide off. It's a better way of telling them “I love you but you won't understand”.

If almost all the people you know are those you have s*x with then you're disrespectful to humanity and your body.

You need to know that “s*x isn't for people but for you”. God won't deny you either yet you need the right platform instituted within the confine of marriage by God Himself. You're to enjoy respectfully and not to do GIVEAWAY to people you don't know and can also disrespect you after the act.

Don't make it a public opinion on when, how, and where to have s*x when you have the full right to decide.

You'll see people in a relationship having s*x with each other because society has painted it so to many - that one can have s*x beyond the ethical judgmental view yet that's not God's way and the way we've been raised.

I don't think you must be in a relationship with your friends just to devalue their worth to you in the place of s*x. Some people ignore that walking on purpose can cut across their relationship too.

If you're in a relationship it's to prepare you for marriage. That's if you even have the goal to get married in it. It's not a touching time but a talking moment. Again, you're more.

Love isn't a feeling or misinterpretation of one's intentions to another that you can fall out of it.

Love is a state of trust, loyalty, respect, and faithfulness.

On the order hand, love is a person, in the person of Jesus Christ.

When you're in Him, you can't fall out of love but fall in.

You've come this far in life not to be judged by people.

Your age alone in this world should be an indication that only walking and knowing the truth will set you free in Christ Jesus.

Let your dream too count.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲.

You keep on battling with what they bring even while trying to stay unbiased as the result of how they think keeps targeting you.

You know you can be more if the environment wasn't the bias with a new set of productive people with redefined mindsets, always aiming to milk a particular niche of expertise regardless.

Defeating the people who don't think, act like, and don't contribute to your growth with more attention given to your environmental situations is the real battle and not success itself.

Leave the notion that you can defeat the people around you to arrive at success; those people are a force themselves.

At one point or the other, you'll always see them showing up, trying to make their opinions count.

There's a thin line between success with people and your success.

The makeup of people in your environment can determine how far you can interact with destiny.

The same gets across to relationships, you might think you've met the right person for a relationship. But what if your choice can be improved upon?

It all lies in your current environment and the set of people you have met so far and have access to; that's those you can choose from in your immediate environment.

If your environment equates to what you want, you'll always have the best. Show me the people around you and I can tell you the future.

But also you can build relationships with those you want to attract into your life and also reflect on the destiny path you so desire.

Mindset is one of the things you'll fall in love with in a person and not just the physique that makes them up.

A person's looks can be important but shouldn't be the driving force. You'll tend to be wrong in your decisions if you choose beauty over character; the artwork of the mind.

The Mind is important in the sense that it's the gateway to one's personality and who a person can be to you.

It's the engine room for a person's beliefs, concepts, standards, and worldview.

If the mind isn't well trained, always going for value, purpose, and excellence every other thing will be wrong with the person.

It's just a matter of time for you to get to know that the true beauty of a person lies in how they think not necessarily in their looks.

How a person thinking abilities work will determine how they'll treat you on different occasions as you go through life with them.

People's actions first of all start in their minds and you can't deny the fact that what they think will be displayed in their actions, choice of words towards you, and their perception of you.