08/09/2026
WHAT HAVE YOU NORMALISED?🤔
There is something dangerous about dysfunctionality that many people do not notice:
It can become normal.
When something happens repeatedly, we can become so accustomed to it that we stop asking whether it is healthy. We begin to say, “That is just how things are.”
We tolerate conversations that always end in arguments. We become comfortable with emotional distance. We stop expecting apologies. We adjust to financial irresponsibility. Eventually, what once disturbed us becomes part of everyday life.
Consider a relationship where:
She complains.
He becomes defensive.
She becomes louder.
He withdraws.
She feels abandoned.
He feels attacked.
They stop talking.
Later, they return to normal without resolving anything.
After years of repeating the same cycle, they may no longer recognise it as a problem.
They have normalised it.
At Passion Speaks, we use a simple principle:
“Behaviour is not the enemy; it is the messenger.”
Defensiveness may be protecting insecurity.
Avoidance may be hiding fear.
Jealousy may be expressing insecurity.
Financial irresponsibility may reveal an unhealthy relationship with money or an inability to think beyond the present.
Sometimes these patterns are learned early. A child who grows up around constant conflict may learn that shouting is normal. A child who never sees healthy apologies may struggle to apologise as an adult. A family that never discusses its wounds may pass silence from one generation to another.
Ignorance can become an inheritance.
But inheritance does not have to become destiny.
Awareness gives us the opportunity to interrupt the cycle.
So perhaps the question is not simply:
“What is wrong with me?”
Ask instead:
“What have I learned to consider normal that may no longer be healthy for me?”
Because sometimes, the first step from dysfunctionality to functionality is recognising that something you have lived with for years should never have become normal.
What have you normalised?
And more importantly:
What becomes dangerous when dysfunctionality starts looking normal?
Passion Speaks — From Dysfunctionality to Functionality.
