18/05/2026
5 Mistakes Nigerian Parents Make During Tantrums
I will never forget the day I watched a mother struggle with her toddler in a crowded supermarket.
The little boy couldn’t have been more than three years old. He wanted a pack of biscuits, and when his mother said no, he threw himself on the floor.
The screaming started immediately.
People turned to look.
Some shook their heads.
One woman muttered, “Children of nowadays have no home training.”
The mother’s face changed from calm to embarrassed in seconds.
You could see the pressure building — the stares, the judgment, the frustration.
Then she shouted,
“Stand up now before I deal with you here!”
The boy screamed louder.
When he refused to stand, she dragged him up and gave him a sharp slap.
He cried harder.
The whole scene ended with both mother and child in tears.
And honestly?
Many Nigerian parents have been there.
Tantrums can feel like public embarrassment.
In our culture, where children are often expected to “behave well” especially in public, a tantrum can feel like a direct attack on your parenting.
But most times, what looks like “stubbornness” is simply a child overwhelmed by big emotions they don’t yet know how to control.
Here are 5 common mistakes many Nigerian parents make during tantrums — and why they often make things worse.
1. Taking the Tantrum Personally
I remember a mum once saying,
"This child is trying to disgrace me in public."
But the truth is, your child is not plotting against you.
A toddler having a meltdown is not trying to embarrass you before your neighbours, church members, or market women.
They are struggling internally.
When we take tantrums personally, we respond from anger instead of understanding.
What to do instead:
Pause and remind yourself:
“This is not an attack. This is communication.”
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2. Shouting Back at the Child
A few years ago, I watched a father yell at his daughter because she was crying uncontrollably over a broken toy.
“Stop that nonsense!” he shouted.
But the louder he got, the louder she cried.
Why?
Because children borrow our emotional energy.
If we bring chaos, we increase theirs.
What to do instead:
Lower your voice.
Calmness is contagious too.
Sometimes a soft, firm voice works far better than shouting.
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3. Using Threats They Don’t Understand
How many times have we heard:
"I will call police for you!"
"I will leave you here!"
"Wait till your father comes back!"
These threats may stop the noise for a moment, but they build fear, not emotional regulation.
A child learns to obey out of panic — not understanding.
And over time, these threats lose power.
What to do instead:
Set simple, realistic boundaries.
Example:
"I know you want the biscuit, but we’re not buying it today."
Clear. Calm. Firm.
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4. Giving In Just to Stop the Embarrassment
This one is very common.
A child cries loudly in church or at the market, and out of embarrassment, the parent quickly gives them what they want.
I’ve seen this happen with sweets, toys, even phone time.
The child learns something powerful:
“If I cry hard enough, I will get it.”
That becomes a pattern.
What to do instead:
Stay consistent, even when people are watching.
Yes, the stares can be uncomfortable.
But consistency today prevents bigger battles tomorrow.
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5. Ignoring What Triggered the Tantrum
Sometimes we focus so much on stopping the crying that we miss the real cause.
Was the child tired?
Hungry?
Overstimulated?
Frustrated because they couldn’t express themselves?
I once saw a toddler throw what looked like a “random tantrum.”
Later, his mother realized he had skipped his afternoon nap and had been out for hours.
He wasn’t being difficult.
He was exhausted.
What to do instead:
Become a detective.
Look beyond the behaviour and ask:
“What is my child trying to tell me?”
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The Truth Nigerian Parents Need to Hear
Tantrums are not proof that you are failing.
They are part of toddler development.
The real goal is not to stop every tantrum instantly.
The goal is to teach your child how to handle big emotions in healthy ways.
Parenting through tantrums is hard — especially when you’re tired, stressed, and worried about what people will say.
But every calm response plants a seed.
And one day, those seeds grow into emotional resilience.
That is the real win. ❤️
If this spoke to you, my Toddler Tantrum Blueprint offers practical, step-by-step guidance to help parents handle tantrums with confidence and calm.
