Fatima Private School, Jos

*PARENTS, WHY THE RUSH?*

I attended a public primary school which had classes ranging from Primary 1 to Primary 6.
My teachers noticed my brilliance in Primary 4, so I was asked to join my seniors in Primary 6 for my Primary School Leaving Certificate Exam. By that, I would jump two classes and go to secondary school two years before my mates.
I wrote my mother to inform her. Her reply was simple: don't do it. She said I would miss the syllabi and the processes of Primary 5 and Primary 6 which would affect me in secondary school.
Whenever I remember her response, I always wonder at her wisdom. For your information, my mother is not literate; she never went to school. So how did she arrive at what she advised me?
Simple. My mother understands the importance of process. She believes once a stage is jumped, one meets the consequences in the future.
I later understood her point. When I got to Primary 5, my teachers called me again and gave me the same offer of writing my terminal exam. I refused, giving them my mother's explanation.
Now, when I got to Primary 6, I was to be made the Senior Boy, but there was a consensus that I was too tiny a boy to control that large school, so I was made the Assistant Senior Boy, while another boy, huge and also brilliant, was made the Senior Boy.
I learnt a lot in that final year. Apart from being the Assistant Senior Boy, I was the Class Captain of my class arm. I was exposed to leadership and human management. By the virtue of my closeness to teachers and the management, I learnt terminologies and skills related to official positions and managements.
Inter alia, I supervised the contributions towards our final-year project. Each student was to contribute 50 kobo per day. I was to collect the money, collate, and make it available to the committee in charge of the project. Whenever I pass by the school and see the signpost built with that money, I feel fulfilled.
I was only 12. Many of my mates were older. But I learnt how to relate with them all. I represented them in many competitions - drama, debates, and exams.
Eventually, I gained admission into a private secondary school. I discovered those who came from public schools felt inferior to those from private schools. I didn't have that complex at all. You know why? I had an exposure that many of them didn't have. One, I completed my basic primary school studies. Two, I was old enough to understand that process and experience.
Thank God for my mother who insisted I go through the whole process. God bless Màámi.
I don't know who started the "double promotion" of a thing. It is wrong. Parents who derive joy in their children skipping classes don't understand the importance of process. You can't buy experience; you have to undergo a process to gather it. Why should your child start secondary school at 8?
Your child failed a class. And so? Let him/her repeat the class. It comes with an inestimable experience. Your child wants to study medicine, they offered him mathematics, and you all know he has all it takes to study medicine. Must he go to school this year? "Ehn...his mates will enter university before him." And so? Why the rush?
Why the rush in our generation? Where exactly are we going? Why are parents breeding immature adults all in the name of haste? Let your children be cooked with time. Stop breeding half-done children. If you raise them in a rush, they would not be able to withstand the complexity of life and they would crumble at every little challenge. They would be frustrated. To avoid the challenges, they would be ready to steal, kill, and destroy.
But if you train them with and in patience, they would learn a lot. They would be ripe for life. Their emotional intelligence would be high. Their social skills would be great. Even if they are early risers, let them know that brilliance and experience are not the same. And both are needed for life.
Parenting is meant to be a careful and purposeful adventure; it is not a competition.
Pause and ask yourself, "Why the rush?"

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*Psychology highlights the 8 reasons why parents are responsible for their children's waywardness :*

1.) Parent who give their children everything they ask for: _Their children will grow up thinking they have a right to whatever they want._

2.) Parents who laugh when their children speak foul language against others, especially older persons: _Children grow up thinking disrespect is normal and fun_ .

3.) Parents who do not reprimand children for bad behavior: _Their children grow up thinking that there are no rules in_ _society_ .

4.) Parents who cover up their children's misdeeds: _Their children grow up thinking they can do and undo with impunity; that they won't have to give account of their misdeeds._

5.) Parents who stop watching television because their children cry when they change channels: _Children will grow up without a sense of respect for older persons_ .

6.) Parents who let their children listen to music that objectivizes women, encourages s*x and violence? _You can't sow thorns and reap cotton, can_ _you_ ?

7.) Parents who give their children money whenever they want: _Such kids will grow up thinking money is easy and would steal when they can't get it_ _correctly_ .

8.) Parents who always decide everything in favour of their children, whether they are right or not: _Their children will grow up thinking that every correction is_ _persecution_ .

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*HOW TO INSPIRE MANNERS IN YOUR CHILDREN.*

1. When entering the house greet your children or even hug them. This should help develop their sense of love and self worth.

2. Be good to your neighbours and never backbite. Never speak ill of other drivers when on the road. Your children would listen, absorb and emulate.

3. When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them. When visiting your parents take your children with you. The more they see you take care of your parents the more they will learn to take care of you.

4. When driving them to school, don't always play albums or cds in the car. Rather, tell them some motivational stories yourself. This will have a greater impact - trust me!

5. Read to them a short story and even a scripture a day – it doesn't take much time, but very good in creating strong bonds and wonderful memories.

6. Comb your hair, clean your teeth and wear presentable clothes even if sitting at home and not going out for the day. They need to learn that being clean and tidy has nothing to do with going out!

7. Try not to blame or comment on every word or action they say or do. Learn to overlook and let go sometimes. This certainly builds their self confidence.

8. Ask your children's permission before entering their rooms. Don't just knock and enter, but then wait for a verbal permission. They will learn to do the same when wanting to enter your room.

9. Apologize to your children if you made a mistake. Apologizing teaches them to be humble and polite.

10. Don't be sarcastic or make fun of their views or feelings, even if you "didn't mean it" and was "only joking". It really hurts.

11. Show respect to your children's privacy. Its important for their sense of value and self-esteem.

12. Don't expect that they will listen or understand the first time. Don't take it personal. But be patient and consistent.

13. Pray with them. Show them how to pray. Lead by example.

14. In addition, ask them to discuss their daily plans after the morning prayers. Children without concrete daily plans usually join others in executing theirs. They fall easy to peer pressure.

15. Hold them and bless them specially every morning.

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