21/08/2023
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My Child is not Doing Well...*
I can not count the number of times I’ve heard parents say this – in the school, at home, and on the streets. Sometimes, they say it directly to me. Other times, I overhear them complaining to other parents.
I notice the sincere concern in the eyes of most, but ambition and frustration in that of a few.
Every parent wants their child to be the best to be at the top of the list. But let me ask: “Whose child do you want to be the last? Whose child should be the worst?”
A man once said: “There must be mad men in every society. But it is not the duty of my family to provide those mad men.”
Words on marble! But again, I ask: “Whose family is it their duty to provide the necessary mad men for the society?”
The truth some parents fail to see is that children are wired differently. Just like winged animals, some children fly high. Others fly low. But what’s important is for each one to fly the best it can.
That your child did not come first in class does not mean he/she is not doing well. That your child fails mathematics does not make him/her a colossal failure. The inability of your child to read and write well does not make him/her a generational disgrace.
Your child is doing well, but you probably can’t see it because you won’t let the child’s light shine.
You want your son to score an A in mathematics, but he makes beautiful drawings. Instead of encouraging and appreciating the gift, you scold him for wasting his time drawing rubbish.
You want your daughter to be able to read an encyclopedia while in basic two. But what she loves is to sing and her voice is soft like summer rain. But you don’t hear it. All you know is that your child is not doing well.
What if your child is not a book person but an athlete, artist, a craftsman, electrician, dancer, or fashionista? Do you have to kill the dream because it doesn’t measure up to your standard?
Every child must not work in an office when they grow up because children are gifted differently.
Find your child’s gift. Help them to harness it to the fullest. If they don’t do well in the classroom, encourage them to excel on the field. Take pride in the things they can do well and let them know that you support them.
Nothing kills a child’s self-worth faster than knowing their parents do not believe in them. They jump the highest level in a high jump contest, expecting a hug from Mom or a fist bump from dad.
But no, you are not there because it is not a Cowbell math quiz, or because your business is more important than your child jumping up and down. With all due respect, sir, ma’am, you are the one that is not doing well.
However, if you still think your child is not doing well, here are some practical steps to take:
Make more time for your child.
Check your child’s notes every day.
Guide the child patiently to do their homework, not do it yourself.
Correct your child with love.
Buy more books than clothes, toys, and gadgets for your child to study with.
Spend money on a home teacher.
Reduce your child’s TV time and allow them to watch only educational channels or programs.
Celebrate all your child’s wins, big or small.
Show up in your child’s school events always.
Pay your child’s school fees in time.
Ensure your child has breakfast before going to school.
Never use the expression “You don’t know anything” before your child.
Pray for your child consistently, and read the Bible / Koran with them.
Follow up on your child’s progress and give moderate incentives.
Dear Parent, please stop blaming teachers or schools for your mistakes and try to work on your child/children.
Finally, place your right hand on your chest and affirm: _*“My child is doing well, and I believe he/she can do better.”*_
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