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A BANKER WENT TO A LOCAL RESTAURANT IN IBADAN TO EAT:

: What do you have?
: Amala, Ewedu, Gbegiri, Ofada Rice, White Rice, Efo Riro, Akara, Iyan, Ewa Agayin, Moi-Moi, Eba, egusi , Obe Ata...
: Okay... bring a plate of Ewedu and Gbegiri with Amala, put 2 ogufe, 1 shaki, 2 ponmo, 2 abodi, 1 roundabout and pack 2 Ofada Rice with beef and Obe Ata takeaway....
.... How do you want the ewedu? Do you want it on top or in another plate.
... Put it on top and spread the Amala well well.
..... What about the takeaway?
....... Same thing, pack it together in one plate.
..... Will you like pure water or bottle water?
..... Bottle water.
....... Cold one or room temperature.
...... Chilled bottle of water.
: Oga Sorry Sa, awa food don finish.
: (angrily) Why then did you tell me that long menu? And all the series of questions you've been asking? You've been wasting my time.
: (smiling) Oga Sa, Shebi when I come to your bank ATM; after asking me for English or Yoruba, withdraw or check balance, PIN, savings or current, amount, print receipt, no receipt, your ATM go come tell me say,

Shebi now you know how e take dey pain person.....😄🤣😁

Cheers!!! Laugh away your stress of today.
Have a wonderful week🌹

Put mouth.

*Elumelu's mom 96 years*
*Otedola's mom 102 years*
*Jonathan's mom 87 years*
*Saraki's mom 88 years*
*Yaradua's mom 98 years*
*Dangote's mom 89 years...*

Where are their Fathers? Long Gone in Most Cases...

FOOD for thought... My Friends

Treat yourself Well ,they Will Survive WithOut you
Change Or Upgrade your Wardrobe Every 2 years

FEEL Good and LOOK Good Always

Reconcile with the reconcilable

Call your friends On Phones Everyday during Work and After Work Hours

Listen to GOOD Music

LIVE a Day at a TIME...

Call me if you don't Have a friend, I Will Bridge the Gap...

our usual spot and when I got there, i saw her already waiting for me.

I and ogechi usually meet at my mother's cassava farm because, her parents doesn't want me anywhere close to ogechi.

According to them, they don't want their daughter to marry a broke man like me because I am not man enough to marry her.

So we started sneaking to meet at my mother's cassava farm where no one can see us and go and tell her parents.

Immediately she saw me, she smiled exposing her beautiful gap tooth which made me find her irresistible.

Good evening obim, you kept me waiting for long....she said embracing me.

Good evening ogechi am sorry I was busy with some things at home....I said looking sober.

Nnamdi what's wrong, you are not in your usual happy self, did mama said anything wrong to you again...she asked wor*riedly.

Ogechi am fine, it's just that I would miss you so so much.

You would miss me??... Nnamdi tell me what is going on please.

And then i held her close to my chest in a hug.

Ogechi am sorry to announce to you that I would be leaving this village in a week time to Abuja to search for greener pastures.

Ogechi pulled away from me immediately staring at me in sh0ck.

What do you mean Nnamdi, tell me this is a joke please....she asked already cr*yi*Ng.

Am sorry ogechi, but am serious, it's not a joke, for some time now mama has been disturbing me to go and work for her younger brother in Abuja as a house keeper so I could earn money.

At first I refused but mama said she would cu*rs£ me if I don't get the job, ogechi please understand me.

I need to go and hustle for our future, may be fate might smile on me and I would get a better job and I will come and many you immediately.

Ogechi biko, bear with me oh, I promise I will come back for you just give me three years....I said calming ogechi who was already cr*yi.ng uncontrollably.

Nnamdi promise me you will come back for me and not follow all those Abuja fine fine girls oh....she said looking at my eyes.

Ogec

MY UNCLE'S WIFE AND I
EPISODE 2

Some days later, mama came to taunt me again, reminding me of her quest for me to be a house keeper for her brother at Abuja.

Bia Nnamdi, so you still haven't thought about going to Abuja for the house keeping job ehkwah!!!....she said, with her hands on her waist.

Mama I told you the other day that I can never be a house keeper, over my d£ body would i do that.

How do you expect a whole PhD degree holder like me to go and become an ordinary house keeper for your brother it doesn't make any sense mama.

It's like a lion eating grass because there are no animals in the bush which doesn't makes sense to me....I said.

Nnamdi since you claimed you are the lion and didn't see any animals in the bush to eat, then you would have to eat grass to survive oh, so you don't di*£ of hunger....mama said sc0rnfu*lly.

Then I would rather d*i£ hungry than to go for less.

Oh i see, so it's because you are eating my food anyhow you have mouth to talk to me anyhow abii,

Nnamdi I give you just three days to make a decision of traveling to Abuja, if not, I will send you parking out of my house because I cannot continue feeding a grown man like you, when your mate's are the one feeding their parents.

Mama kept talking and talking and I left her to my room ang*rily.

While I was in my room, i kept having a though time contemplating if I should go to Abuja or not.

And then after 30 minutes
Of contemplating, I made a decision to go to Abuja and take the house keeping job from my uncle.

Maybe i might be even lucky to get a well paying Job there sef....I thought.

Later I went to meet Mama to tell her of my decision.

So Nnamdi, have you made up your mind to travel to Abuja?....she asked eargerly.

Yes mama, I would take the house keeping job, inform uncle that I would be in Abuja in a week time.

Okay my son i will do that right away, now you are talking....mama said happily.

At the cool of the evening, i went to see my girlfriend ogechi, at our

MY UNCLE'S WIFE AND I
EPISODE 1

After doing the house chores from the early hours of the morning till noon, I decided to have some sleep.

While I was sleeping, i heard my mom's loud voice from my sleep, insu*lting me as usual.

Just look at him, all he does in this house is wake up, eat and go back to sleep again, lazy son of mine.....she said ang*rily.

Good afternoon mama, welcome back from the market.

And what is good about the afternoon, ehhhnnn Nnamdi?

When I left the house this morning you were sleeping, now am back and I met you sleeping you this lazy boy.

The only thing you know how to do best is to eat my food and nothing else.

But mama since I woke up today i have been doing the house chores.

I filled the whole drums with water as you instructed, washed the whole dirty plates in this house and even went to the bush to fetch firewood.

What have I ever done wrong to you mama, that you always look for every means to in*sult me ehhnn every day?....I asked sadly.

Nnamdi you did all wrong to me oh, did I ever did wrong to train you in school till you graduated?

Nnamdi if I had use the money and time i used in training you in school to invest in my cocoa farms, i think I would have been counted among the richest women in this village.

But look at you, being lazy staying with me here in the village doing nothing, making my fellow women laugh at me anywhere i go.

But mama, it wasn't my fault that I didn't see any job after my schooling, life was very ha*rd for me in the city, that's why I am here staying with you in the village, hoping you would cover my sha*me as my mother, but here you are adding to my problems....I said ang*rily.

Taaarrr mechionu gi osiso, so you still have mouth to talk back at me okwia?... anyways I don't blame you.

Nnamdi you aren't even ashamed of yourself, your mate's that are making it in the city, did they have two heads?

Many of my fellow women here in this village that their children went to school same time with you are already bearing mama lawyer, mama doctor, mama engineer and so on.

But here i am still answering Mama Nnamdi, as if i didn't train my son in school.

Nnamdi if you know what is good for you, you better find a way to make me proud or else this house would not contain the both of us.

Mama kept talking and talking and I dared not say a word, and just then my junior sister oluchi walked in replying mama.

Mama, aren't you tired of this your every day ins*lts to brother Nnamdi?.... from way away i was hearing your voice and I knew you were at it again and I wasn't wrong.

Mama what has brother Nnamdi done to you to warrant your constant in*sults, is it his fault that he couldn't get a job?.....and then mama interrupted her.

May amadioha str*ike that your mouth there, so you have grown wings and you think you are now grown enough to talk back at me okwia?

Now as I close my eyes, before I open them move out of her osiso.... and oluchi ran inside because she knows what mama Can do when she is an*gry.

And you Nnamdi, i have a job for you, obinna my younger brother that base at Abuja needed a male house keeper and I told him that you are perfect for the job since you are not doing anything here.

Immediately mama said that, i stared at in bewildment, wondering if she was referring to me.

Wait mama did you just asked me to become a house keeper for your brother my uncle?....I asked sco*rn*fully.

Yes na, at least since you are not that useful to me, you should be useful to my brother, he will pay you well for the job, he is very rich....mama said boastfully.

I reject such an offer mama, I can never stoop so low to being a house keeper never....I said ang*rily.

Look at this ungrateful child, am trying to help you better your life and you are here doing anyhow.

Now let me sound this as a w@rn*ing to you, if you don't take this job, i will place a cu*rs£ and you, don't try my patience Nnamdi.... and she left ang*rily to the kitchen hissing along side.

I placed my both hands on my head thinking deeply and just then my younger sister oluchi walked in sitting close to me.

Brother Nnamdi, i am sorry with the way mama treat's you in this house, please do not think much about it everything would be fine.... she said placing her hands on my shoulders.

It's okay oluchi, am fine thank you for always defending me before mama, you are forever my little angel....I said rubbing her hair.

She smiled blushing alongside and gave me banana and groundnut that she bought for me at the market.

I collected it from her and started eating it immediately because I had not eaten anything for that day and it was almost 3pm.

Oluchi cheered me up and then left to go help mama in the kitchen.

While I retired to my room to think about my life.

To be continued.....

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NAME OF HERBS & SPICES IN YORUBA
Tiger nut - Ofio
Onion - Alubọsa
Ginger - Atalẹ
Bell pepper - Tataṣe
Garlic - Ayù
Kola nut - Obi
Cinnamon - Oriira
Walnut - Awùsá/Àsálà
Spring onion - Alubọsa Elewe
Bitter Kola - Orogbo
Basil - Efinrin
Bitterleaf - Ewuro
Indigo plant - Èlú (Aro)
Shea butter - Òrí
Chilli pepper/Bonnet - Ata rodo
Alligator pepper - Atare
Grape - Eso Àjàrà
Water letuce - Ojú oró
Nutmeg - Aríwó
Dates - Labidun
Bitter melon - Ejirin wewe
Eggplant - Igba/Ikan
Cayenne pepper - Ṣọmbọ
Tumeric - Ajo (Atalẹ pupa)
Ma*****na - Igbó
Corn silk - Irukere agbado
Lemon - Ijaganyin
Jute - Ewedu
Tamarind - Awin
Pumpkin - Elégédé
Lime - Osan wewe
Bamboo - Oparun
Moringa - Ewelẹ
Watermelon - Ibara
Wild lettuce - Ẹfọ Yanrin
Aloe vera - Eti Erin
Milkw**d - Bomubomu
Roselle Hibiscus - Iṣapa
Cucumber - Apálá
Camwood - Osùn
Plum -Ìgọ
Hog plum - Ìyeyè
Almond - Ofio omu
Miracle berry - Agbayun
Black pepper - Iyere
Lotus plant- Oṣibata
Bush mango - Oro
Fig - Ọ̀pọ̀tọ́ (Eeya)
Siam w**d - Ewe Akintola
Raffia palm - Ògùrọ
Earth chestnut - Botuje
Sugar cane - Ireke
Bush mango (seed) - Àpòn
Waterleaf - Ẹfọ Gbure
Ackee - Iṣin
Bambara nut - Ẹpa roro/Orubu
Sinach - Ẹfọ Tẹtẹ
Cloves - Kanafuru
Breadfruit - Gbere
Parsley - Isako
Palm kernel - Ekuro
Dates - Aran, Labidun
Beniseed - Gogo, Gorigo
Asparagus - Aluki
Velvet bean - Werepe
Locust plant - Igba
Sage - Kiriwi
Soursop - Eko omode
Pigeon pea - Otiili
Custard Apple - Afon, Abo
Datura - Gegemu
Castor bean - Laara
Barbadus nut - Lapalapa
Lemon grass - Koriko oba
Starbur - Dagunro
Jack bean - Sèsé
Miracle leaf - Abamoda
Wiregrass - Ewe eran

*Note that pronunciations vary according to which side of the Yoruba States individuals are from.

My husband allowed me to sleep with my boss so as to extract money from him.
The plan was to drain my boss and relocate abroad.

My boss, who owned a soap factory was a very rich man. He was already married and we all knew his wife to be hot tempered.

My boss had done a lot for me in the past few years that I was with him, it took a while for me to notice but I pretended to know nothing.

When he finally spoke with me about having an affair with me behind his wife's back, I pretended to be shocked and I refused bluntly.
Then he said if I did not dance to his tunes, I would lose my job.

He gave me 48 hours to think about it but I gave him the answer before 24 hours because my husband successful convinced me to accept to be his mistress.

My husband was so desperate, but aside that, losing my job would affect a lot of people.

His daily income at his tattoo parlor could do little.
My own salary was what we depended on. Him, his aged parents, my younger sister who lives with us and on us, and I.


I extracted a lot of money from him between a year and six months but my husband said it wasn't enough. He said I should keep on getting the money for another six months.
He was the one keeping the money in his personal account.

I was doomed one day, I came back from work to see the whole house empty and a letter from my husband which I could not read because someone knocked at that time.

It was my boss's wife. She came in with two other men and the only word I could remember was "so I'm sharing my husband with this thing"

And I opened my eyes in the hospital...
My face was rotten by the time I was getting better
She had poured acid on my face.

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On to the next phase. Congratulations 🎉

The ability to control your emotion when food doesn't reach you in a wedding🤵👰💍 ceremony is the highest form of maturity☹️🤷😯