18/01/2023
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I decided to go and buy pepper and gradually cook my indomie. While I was going, my heart was telling me,
"Praise eat your indomie like that, you don't need pepper."
But because of the cold weather, I decide to visit this old woman that sells pepper near my house.
"Mama, I want pepper."
"Ahh, my pikin, I bring better pepper oo. This one na one in town. Wetin you wan cook?"
"Mama na small indomie ooo."
She packed the pepper and instructed me. she said this firmly like she was talking to a kid in his mother's house.
"My pikin, no put pass two oo. If you put two leave am, this pepper dey hot ooo. No put pass two."
I said okay, but deep down inside me I was angry. She has never instructed me on how many peppers to put. I was even murmuring while heading back to my apartment because as she was instructing me, others were staring at me.
I got into my apartment, removed my trouser, and started cooking. Maybe the old woman forgot to tell me they don't cook such pepper wearing a boxer, I don't know. I pulled out my mortar to pound the pepper but I quickly changed my mind. I wanted to slice the pepper so I could use the pepper to decorate the indomie.
I quickly sliced the pepper inside the indomie and was waiting for the indomie to be ready.
As I was waiting for the indomie, I started feeling some kind of heat inside my trouser. It started like a joke, and the heat kept on increasing.
Jesu! You won't understand.
My weäpon of mäss déstruction was on fire. I was wondering what was behind the heat in my trouser when I remembered, the same hands I used in cutting pepper, I used to caress my weapon of mass destruction. It was like there was fîre under my balls and at the tip of my affairs.
I started jumping to ease the pain, it was still increasing. Thank God for NEPA, I ran and turned on my fan, and removed my boxers to cool off the pain but the pain kept increasing.
Chai! Chukwu abiamma.
I hastily ran into the bathroom to wash it off but the pain didn't go away. I washed and washed like I was washing an animal's skin but to no avail. I had to birth four times to overcome the pepper and rescue my man in the hood. Even in my attempt to save my man, my indomie burnt. I wasn't bothered, I just wanted to secure my gbola.
Only to survive that accident and pass this old woman's shop in the evening, and she is asking me.
"My pikin hope you enjoy am?"
I just don't want to speak.
Enjoy what? Me that nearly lost that which made me a man. At some point, while the pain was increasing, the devil was telling me.
"Praise just cut it off and rest."
🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
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