28/09/2026
I asked my son what he would do if a friend at school asked him to keep something for them overnight. His first question was, “Is the person’s hand broken?” 😂
I had just come in from work when I decided to ask him.
“David, if someone at school walked up to you and said, ‘Please keep this for me until tomorrow,’ what would you do?”
He looked at me.
“Is the person’s hand broken?”
Typical David.
I laughed, but waited for the rest of his answer.
Then Oga Analyst kicked in.
“Mother, that’s suspicious. They have a bag. They have a house. They should be capable of keeping their own things until tomorrow. I’d say no.”
Okay.
Good.
But I didn’t end the conversation there.
“What if it’s your friend?”
Still no.
“What if they tell you it’s nothing bad?”
No.
“What if they say, ‘Please don’t tell anyone I gave it to you’?”
And that opened up a much bigger conversation.
We talked about why you should never agree to hide or carry something when you don’t know exactly what it is.
We talked about how friendship shouldn’t require secrecy that makes you uncomfortable.
We talked about grooming.
About manipulation.
About someone starting with a seemingly harmless request and gradually testing how much they can persuade you to do or keep secret.
And especially for children of secondary-school age, these are conversations I think we need to have before they encounter the situation.
Not to frighten them.
To give them language.
To let them know they can say NO, even to a friend.
To let them know that when somebody says, “Don’t tell your mum,” “Don’t tell your dad,” “Nobody needs to know,” that is exactly when they should feel able to come and tell us.
But something else happened during that conversation that stayed with me.
I realised just how much these children already know.
When you genuinely engage them, rather than simply giving them instructions, the questions start coming.
“What if…?”
“But what happens when…?”
“How would I know if…?”
“What if it’s someone I trust?”
And you realise there is an entire world they are trying to understand.
Sometimes we assume that because they haven’t asked, they haven’t thought about these things.
They have.
We kept talking for quite a while.
Then towards the end, David became unusually serious.
He said:
“We live in a cruel world, Mother, so thank you for creating this awareness.”
That one stayed with me.
Because perhaps one of our jobs as parents isn’t to convince our children that the world is completely safe.
We cannot promise them that.
What we can do is make home a safe place to ask uncomfortable questions.
Have the awkward conversations.
Give them permission to walk away.
Teach them that “No” is a complete answer when something doesn’t feel right.
And remind them that no matter what someone has told them to keep secret, they can always come home and tell us.
Sometimes the conversation you casually start while unpacking your work bag may be the conversation your child remembers when they really need it.
Parents of teenagers, what safety conversation have you had with your child that surprised you with how much they already knew?
