06/05/2024
Monday Morning Tonic (MMT) 06-05-24
Good morning dear friends and welcome to MMT.
Our topic for today is Love.
The English dictionary defines love as a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. But I want to define love as the desire to seek the well-being and happiness of others without expecting anything in return.
All humans are inherently selfish. We all want to “win” and to get other people to understand what we want. We want the best and if possible, take it all. Isn’t it? But it’s Love that makes the world go round.
Everyone gives and receives love differently. And in addition to that, some people are much more capable of experiencing certain types of love than others. So, let’s take a look at the different types of love that can be expressed.
Types of love
According to ancient Greek, there are 8 different types of love
i. Agape or love for everyone
This is an altruistic, selfless, unconditional love.
ii. Eros or s*xual passion
This is associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an expression of s*xual passion and desire.
iii. Philia or deep friendship
The Greeks defined this kind of love as “affectionate love.” In other words, it is the kind of love that you feel for your friends. It is “platonic” love – love without s*xual acts.
iv. Philautia or love of self
This is self-love or self-compassion. Just as you show affection and love to another person, you also show that same affection and love to yourself.
v. Storge or family love
Just like philia, there is not physical or s*xual attraction. But there is a strong bond, kinship, and familiarity between people or family.
vi. Pragma or longstanding love
This is almost the opposite of eros (s*xual love). Eros tends to burn out quickly because of its passion and intensity. However, pragma is a love that has matured and developed over a long period of time. Like between old married couple.
vii. Ludus or playful love
Ludus is known as the “playful love.” However, a better way to describe it is the feeling of infatuation in the early days of romance.
Studies show that when people are experiencing this type of love, their brain is acting much like it is lit up and active just like someone who is literally high on a drug. It makes you feel alive and excited about life.
viii. Mania or obsessive love
Mania is not necessarily a good type of love, because it is obsessive. It’s the type of love that can lead someone into madness, jealousy, or even anger.
Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-esteem.
The ancient Greeks weren’t the only ones to study love. A modern relationship therapist, Dr. Gary Chapman, identified five languages of love. Chapman argues that each of us give and receive love differently, but they all fall into five categories. And they are as follows:
1. Words of affirmation
Some people want to hear “I love you” or other positive compliments from their partner. And if they don’t hear it, then they might feel unloved.
2. Acts of service
Doing nice things for other people is called an “act of service.” Whether it’s cleaning the house, giving a back rub, or doing things to help make the other person happy is what this one is about.
3. Receiving gifts
Some people value giving and receiving gifts. So, if you measure your partner’s love by how many gifts you are given, then your love language is “receiving gifts.”
4. Quality time
Other people measure the quality of their love by how much time their partner wants to spend with them. If they don’t get enough “together time,” then they might feel unloved.
5. Physical touch
Finally, some individuals associate love with physical touch. Anything from hand-holding to cuddling, and even s*x count as “physical touch.”
The Power of Love
Love has the power to transform lives, heal wounds, and inspire greatness. It brings joy, fulfillment, and meaning to our existence, shaping our identities and influencing our choices. Whether it's the passion of romantic love, the warmth of familial bonds, or the support of friendship, love is a fundamental aspect of the human experience that enriches and sustains us throughout life's journey.
Love's Impact on Health and Well-being
Research has shown that love has tangible effects on our physical and mental health:
Stress Reduction: Feeling loved and supported can lower stress levels and reduce the risk of stress-related health problems such as heart disease and depression.
Longevity: Studies have found that people in loving, supportive relationships tend to live longer, healthier lives compared to those who are isolated or in unhealthy relationships.
Immune System Boost: The emotional support provided by loving relationships can boost the immune system, making individuals more resilient to illness and disease.
Love in Everyday Life
While grand gestures and epic romances often dominate popular culture's portrayal of love, everyday acts of love is what should be emulated.
Simple acts of kindness, spending quality time together, as well as open and honest communication is essential to nurturing love.
Conclusion
A kind of love which is selfless (putting the interest of others first), unconditional (given freely without judgement or expectation), sacrificial (willing to give without counting the cost), and rooted in empathy and compassion, should be embraced and practiced by all.
Shalom!
©MMT
Ezeh Chris
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