02/10/2025
https://www.amazon.com/author/davidoyetunji
https://www.amazon.com/author/davidoyetunji
*Pick my books in Amazon through the link above and read more about life and its complexity. Lookout for my Blog soon. Sponsorship for Radio and Television Presentations is welcome to showcase numerous works I have on ground. Let us partner together for the good of humanity. Enjoy your day with today's inspiration*
*The Ultimate Strength: Why We Must Forgive Unconditionally*
*Preamble*
Have you ever wondered why some people forgive so easily, even when faced with perceived enemies and haters? Have you, like my concerned colleagues once asked me, questioned if this swift forgiveness is a sign of weakness, a failure to fight back? I smiled when they brought this to my attention, and I explained that the opposite is true. This write-up is born from that conversation, and its purpose is to let people understand why they should, and must, forgive unconditionally. It is not for the benefit of the offender, but for the preservation of our own peace, purpose, and destiny.
*The Delusion of the Detractor*
There is a wise *Yoruba proverb* that says, " *Ipako ko gbo suti; ori elegan lo daru."* This translates to, *"Your back head cannot hear or see the sign of your condemnation from behind through a nose signal. The perpetrator is simply insane."* It powerfully illustrates that the fellow condemning you from behind, unseen and unheard by you, is acting out of their own imbalance, not your reality.
This is how many operate. They give you unwarranted signs of condemnation simply because they are not familiar with your divine calling, your life's vision, your missions, achievements, and your good works. Sometimes, what we perceive as a personal offence—a snub, a refusal to greet, a careless utterance—is merely a reflection of another's indecent and uncultured character. Some grew up in backgrounds where such behaviour is normal the moment their expectations are not met. For others, their anger and malice stem from their own skewed perceptions and conclusions about your actions. And some, quite simply, are never happy seeing others progress. As the American writer *Elbert Hubbard* noted, *"To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing."* The moment you strive for a meaningful life, you will attract detractors.
*The High Cost of Reacting*
So, I must ask, "Won't these burdens be too much to bear for one person if you decide to respond to them all?"
In my professional life as an auditor, our job requires constant checks to prevent fraudulent acts. Even if you do what is considered favourable today, tomorrow when you say "no" to a wrong practice, you will be seen as an enemy. People will team up. If you spend your precious time reacting to every critic and every perceived slight, you will not achieve anything meaningful for your life.
Many good things in life require deep thinking, planning, programming, and ex*****on. In which of these vital stages will your haters help you? None. Their only contribution is condemnation, discouragement, and actions designed to draw you into a fight. Devoting time to fighting people is the greatest disaster you can bring upon yourself. Many of them have no clear vision for their own lives, so they feel they have the luxury of time to cause the derailment of your set goals. As *Biblical David* did when his own brothers scorned him, he ignored them and focused on his goal—do likewise.
Ask yourself: Are they holding your hands? Are they blocking your road or stopping you from working? Are they obstructing your reasoning? In life, you must know what is consequential to your goals and what is an inconsequential irrelevance.
*The Great Divide: Conditional vs. Unconditional Forgiveness*
It is crucial to understand the difference between two types of forgiveness. *Conditional forgiveness* is a transaction. It is based on the rationalization of what happened. It often requires the offender to apologize, show remorse, or meet certain conditions before forgiveness is granted. While it can be a practical tool for mending relationships, it keeps you, the forgiver, in the position of a judge, holding onto the hurt until the other person acts "correctly." This is not leaving the matter to God; it is managing it yourself.
*Unconditional forgiveness,* on the other hand, is the agape love demonstrated by Jesus Christ and his disciple, Stephen. It is a release, a letting go, without any conditions attached. It is a conscious decision to hand the matter over to God. This is the forgiveness genuine Christians are called to practice, understanding that God will surely judge every person. The scripture does not say, "Vengeance is yours to manage." It says, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" (Romans 12:19). The emphasis is on "I, God, will take it." When we hold onto anger, we are telling God we don't trust Him to handle it.
At the height of his agony on the cross, being brutalized and killed by people He came to save, Jesus did not set conditions. He prayed, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" *(Luke 23:34).* He said this because their spiritual ignorance was so profound that they could not comprehend the magnitude of their sin. They were acting from a place of deep spiritual blindness. Likewise, as Stephen was being stoned to death, he echoed his master's heart, crying out, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge" *(Acts 7:60).* This is agape love in action.
*The Peace That Fuels Purpose*
I offer these words because I have experienced both the good and the odds from people, and I have learned not to be worried anymore. I now see many of these actions as behaviours coming from inexperience and immaturity.
The moment people cannot manipulate you, the moment they see you setting boundaries and still moving forward, their hatred often becomes fierce. Their final move is to see you unhappy. In the face of this, the most powerful response is to give them unconditional love. As I always say, "They don't deserve it, but you deserve peace."
A peaceful environment is the soil in which great ideas grow. It is all you need to think properly and actualize your life's goals. People who aim to pull you down will never see anything good in you. Those with no concrete life visions will always engage you in frivolities. Their single aim is to pull you down to be like them in thought and action. Leave them.
*Conclusion*
Do not allow the bitterness of others to poison your spirit. Forgiveness, especially the unconditional kind, is not a weakness. It is the ultimate act of strength, wisdom, and self-preservation. It is the key to unlocking the mental and emotional freedom you need to pursue your destiny. When you learn to hand your battles over to God, you can on the enormous, beautiful tasks thconcentrateat lie ahead, supported by the good people who are meant to be on your journey. In the end, your life's results shall be the undeniable testament to your past thoughts and actions.
God bless
*AMB. DR. DAVID O. OYETUNJI, PhD, MNIM, FCNA, FCSA, FCIMA, FMNES, FRA, DE, RNs, CoFs, JP*
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