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When my wife and kids told me that they would love to go to my brother’s house to spend the weekend and kill boredom, I did not hesitate to give it the nod because I also needed some quiet time alone in the house. I was working on a proposal that was to be submitted on Monday morning via email. The insistence by the company to send it via email was because of the restriction in the movement of people over the COVID 19 issue.
My wife was a law enforcement agent and would not have any challenge navigating through the hundreds of checkpoints on the roads.
“Make sure you guys return on Monday,” I said as my wife led the kids out of the house. “I don’t want to hear stories.”
She chuckled. “There will be no stories. Please follow us to the junction so you can help me collect my clothes from the laundry man. He called to tell me that he would be waiting.”
I would not have left the house that morning if she hadn’t said that. Outside the gate where Mubarak had a kiosk, I saw three young men smoking cigarettes and engrossed in a hearty conversation.
“Ina kwana,” Mubarak greeted us cordially. “This one that everyone is dressed ceremonially, I don’t think this is a short journey.”
My wife nodded and smiled at him. “We will be back on Monday evening. Please put eyes on the house for us.”
He said he would. My wife hopped onto the driver’s seat and I sat beside her on the passenger’s side. My three kids giggled at one another as they occupied the back seat. Since her own car had had some mechanical fault and was taken away by the mechanic prior to the Corona virus pandemic, we had both been managing my own car. Carefully, she hurled the Toyota Corolla past Mubarak’s kiosk and honked. Mubarak had been a very good neighbour. He would keep an eye on the compound whenever we were not around. In return, the family had also treated him like a brother.
The laundry man was not in the shop when we got there. My wife was furious because her uniforms were the clothes she had given him to was
[12/14/19] Dear Brothers, please whenever you ran into an old friend, secondary school mate or classmate and you see that his condition is not so good or may be you are way above his class, please try and be nice to him, treat him with respect and kindness, it is not his fault that he didn't make it in life, he also want to be extra successful but God has other plans for him which we all have no idea what it is. Don't make him feel shy and hide whenever he sees you, remember no condition is permanent only God knows what life will be like for everyone in the next 5years.... Be nice and be humble nothing lasts forever!
*WHAT WOULD YOU DO?*
*A woman tells her husband that she is going to visit her sick mum in the village. She goes on Friday and returns on Sunday, with plenty of fruits and food stuff, saying they are from her mum to the husband and the children. Then, the husband gently asks her about her mother's health and how she was doing, to which she replies that she took her to the hospital in the village and she is recovering and getting better. The wife adds that her mother insisted that she must re-visit the village in a few days, to spend at least a week with her.* *"I'm worried about Mama" the wife crooned, with tears swelling in her eyes.* *"She'll be fine, dear." Husband lovingly replied.* *The husband then politely asks her to take the items to the kitchen.* *As she enters, she meets her mother preparing food in the kitchen.* *Apparently, her mum came visiting since the Friday that she left home.* *You can imagine the plight of this woman. stuck, shocked, dazed and dumb founded at the kitchen door!* *whether to go in and drop the item's from mama', or return to her husband in the livingroom!* *How would you handle this case if you are the husband or what explanation will you give if you are the woman?* *Please your humble opinion is required.* *Send this to all your male and female friends.* *Lets see who fix it well*
FINAL EXAM PAPER for LAW STUDENTS:
Q. A Woman was driving a KIA car. She mistakenly hit a BMW car.
The lady came out from her BMW, insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her BMW
The KIA car Woman called her husband, he replied -"I am very busy & please try fix up the Matter by urself"
The BMW lady called her Boyfriend and said "Sweetheart someone just hit the Birthday Gift you gave me, I am so angry, please come over.."
Few minutes later her Boyfriend arrived. He is the Husband to the lady with the KIA car!!!!
Discuss the possible legal consequences for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)
[10/01/19] Happy independent day to our great country let us live in peace with one another
*Dating a guy that bleach is frustrating, you will be pregnant & be expecting a cute baby like 'Ronaldo' then boom, here comes 'Balotelli'.*
If you experience, you know.
😂😂😂 *Money is a natural bleaching cream. By the time u hammer ehn, your true colour must come out.*
*Biko, lord God, I am still dark, bleach me now bYou will think you know colours until you receive a wedding invitation. They will be like , colours of the day: *Horse balls black with a touch of mosquito kidney blue 😂🤪🤪😆😝🤣*
[9/3, 1:57 PM] +234 703 603 1804: Imagine If God Says that Ur Offering Money In Church would be Ur Feeding Money In Heaven.
Shebi U Know It Is Ulcer that Will Kill U for the #20, #20 you De drop😂🤣🤪
I Decree & Declare As The Month of September Is The 9th Month, Which Is Also The Month Of Delivery, So Shall Your Blessings Be Delivered Unto Thee, You Shall Step Up, You Shall Move Forward, Anyone That Blesses You; Shall Be Blessed, Favour Shall Locate You & Your Family, Your Going-Out & Your Coming-In Shall Be Blessed, Anyone Holding Your Blessings Shall Locate You & Deliver Them Unto You.... Amen....There Shall Be No More Delay Henceforth In Jesus Name....Amen🙏
*Blessings All The Way*..
>“They cheat we forgive em . They ignore our msgs , we send another one . We call them, . They don't pick up . We comment on their posts , they don't reply . We post them, they don't comment nor react
. They get angry for no reason, , we apologize . They give empty Promise's . We forgive em . They leave us, an then come back for second chance , we gave them . They flirt in our presence , we kept quite .
But there will be a day . That we'll walk away . You'll stop receiving our text
, stop receiving our calls and never ever see our comments on your posts
We'll never bother you again . Coz once a beautiful heart is broken
. It can never be mend again
Respect what you have now coz once it is gone, , you'll never see it again
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AGRIC EXTENSION OFFICER'S NEEDED
QUALIFICATION:- BSC/HND in Agric (Crop Production)
LOCATION:- NIGER STATE
Applicant must be a resident of any of the following LGA
kindly send your CV to [email protected]
APLICATION CLOSING DATE: 13-04-2019 12:00pm
*THE PROFOUND LETTER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO HIS SON'S TEACHER.*
*"TEACH HIM TO KNOW THAT IT IS MORE HONOURABLE TO FAIL THAN TO CHEAT"*
*Abraham Lincoln, wrote this letter to his son's teacher when his son joined school:*
*“ My son starts school today. It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while and I wish you would treat him gently. It is an adventure that might take him across continents. The adventure may probably include wars, tragedy and sorrow. To live his life will require faith, love and courage.*
*So dear Teacher, will you please take him by his hand and teach him things he will have to know. Teach him – gently, if you can, that for every enemy, there is a friend. He will have to know that all men are not just, that all men are not true.*
*Teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero, that for every crooked politician, there is a dedicated leader.*
*Teach him if you can, that 10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar stolen. In school, teacher, teach him that it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does win.*
*Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and to be tough with tough people. Steer him away from envy if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter. Teach him if you can – how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him that there is no shame in tears. Teach him that there can be glory in failure and despair in success. Teach him to scoff at cynics.*
*Teach him if you can the wonders of books, but also give time to ponder the extreme mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tell him they are wrong.*
*Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is doing it. Teach him to listen to every one, but teach him also to filter all that he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.*
*Teach him to sell his talents and brains to the highest bidder but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.*
*Let him have the courage to be impatient and the patience to be brave. Teach him to have sublime faith in himself, because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind, and in God.*
*This is a tall order, teacher, but see what best you can do. He is such a nice little boy; he is my son.”*
WORDS OF LIFE
WHAT IS INSIDE YOU.
One Day a Rich man gave a Basket Full of Rotten Food to a Poor man.
The Poor man Smiled and Left the Palace with the Basket,
Emptied the Basket of It's Content and Cleaned It, Put Beautiful Flowers in It and Returned It to the Palace and gave It to the Rich man.
The Rich man was Surprised and Asked the Poor man WHY?
"I GAVE YOU A BASKET FULL OF ROTTEN THINGS AND YOU BRING IT BACK FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS."
The Poor man Replied the King:
"EVERY HUMAN BEING GIVES WHAT IS IN HIS HEART."
WHAT IS INSIDE YOU IS WHAT YOU GIVE OUT.
BE KIND ALWAYS.
You don't Need to First become RICH to be KIND,
KINDNESS IS FREE! Whether Rich or Poor All can Be Kind, What You only Need is A RICH HEART.
Because A RICH HEART
"Loves without Condition,
Talks without Bad intention,
Gives without a Reason,
And Most of All
CARES FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATION."
You can Be Kind on All Levels of Your Life so long as You have A RICH HEART.
KINDNESS IS A VERY EXPENSIVE GIFT, SO DON'T EXPECT IT FROM EVERYONE,...
BECAUSE VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE "RICH BY HEART...."
# BeKindAlways .
# Stay blessed all day💕🌹
HOW TO SURVIVE ON ELECTION DAY:
For those without PVC
1)- Wake up.
3)-Stay close to your phones, TV and radios. Information is very vital at every given time
4)- Encourage those who have PVCs to go out and vote
5)- If you have a car or any means of transportation, please you could be nice enough to help convey folks to their polling units
6)- Don't try to convince those voting to change their minds or their preferred candidates.
For those with PVC
1) First of all,hugs!
Y'all are the real MVPs! 😘
2)- Sleep tight with the PVC in your hands. Keep out of reach of children, moisture, and vengeful rodents all of who could have been bribed at the last minute to frustrate your voting rights.
3)- Wake up on time!
Don't oversleep the day away mbok.
The future of Naija depends on you!
Please for goodness sakes have a bath and brush your teeth before going to stand in queues.
Don't add body and/or mouth odour to the already numerous challenges of the Nigerian electorate.
Love your neighbor!
5) - Don't go to any polling units with a lunch box or anything that can be remotely mistaken for a ballot box.
To be safe, bring or buy meals wrapped in leaves or newspapers.
Use transparent ragolis bottles for your drinks too. Better safe than sorry Nwanne!
6) - Keep a polite distance away from armed personnel.
Don't even smile at them before it is mistaken for mockery or civilian insubordination or sheer unpatriotism.
Just bone, vote and go!
7)- To the randy men amongst us, standing in queues isn't an opportunity to squeeze or rub against women before or behind you.
Oga, respect yourself!
8)- To the Slay queens amongst us, please this is not an opportunity to wear your 42 inches high heels.
Standing in queues issa very serious and loooong process! Happy are those who go to the polling units in flat sandals and bathroom slippers.
9)- To the Pregnant women and nursing mums, please make friends with the female security agents around. They could be of help.
10)- To the Mums (and Dads) with babies strapped on their backs, please don't allow them grab ballot boxes when your backs are turned.
Buhari didn't specify age oooh....Ehen.
11) - If a ballot box falls to the ground infront of you, do not bend to pick it. I repeat; DO NOT BEND TO HELP INEC PICK IT! Raise your two hands in the air and cry out to declare your innocence.
Call on God,just in case.
Or whatever deity you serve.
Atheists, you may call on Charles Darwin.😛
12)- At the sound of gunshots, don't run. Fall to the ground immediately. Bullets whizz through the air and running makes you a bigger target.
13)- After voting, go straight home. Forget all that talks of staying to defend your votes, you're neither police nor army.
Don't join overzealous groups of political critics to debate or argue over anything.
Some of those dudes will run faster than you when yawa gas oooo!
You want them to catch you and brand you a trouble maker disturbing the peace?
Go straight home to your family and loved ones.
14)- To the slay kings amongst us, Ndi Bigz Boyz. Please don't dress unnecessarily rough and rugged to polling units.
Most of the Nigerian police still believe dreads, tattoos and sagging trousers automatically equates to people being gay or criminals.
Nna, don't draw unnecessary attention to yaself biko.
(By the way, please leave the Biafran branded t-shirts and flags at home. Don't be silly in public!)
May Heaven help us all.
Happy Erections in advance, my people.
What to avoid by educating your child
1-avoid giving your child everything he asks. He'll grow up thinking he has the right to get everything he wants.
2-avoid laughing when your child pronounces insulting words. He'll grow up thinking that disrespect is entertainment.
3-avoid being insensitive to bad behavior that he can display without scolding him for his bad behavior. He will grow up thinking that there are no rules in society.
4-avoid picking up everything your child messes with. He will grow up believing that others must take responsibility for his responsibilities.
5-avoid letting him follow any program on TV. He'll grow up thinking there's no difference between being a child and being an adult.
6-avoid giving your child all the money he asks for. He'll grow up thinking that getting money is easy and won't hesitate to fly to get it.
7-avoid always getting on his side when he's wrong against neighbors, his teachers, the police. He'll grow up thinking that everything he does is correct, the others are wrong.
8-avoid leaving him alone at home when you go to the place of worship, otherwise he will grow up thinking that God does not exist.
Following these tips, we hope your child will be a model for society and will make your pride as parents!🙏🙏🙏
HOW SCHOOL BOYS USED TO WRITE LOVE LETTERS TO GIRLS IN THE 70s, 80s and 90s
DOSS SEC SCH
P.O. BOX 2233
13 June 1973
Dear Sweet Girl
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also parambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl, put together as fantabulous. I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.
Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.
To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you, my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblongata also ceases functioning.
Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon, you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only you and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.
By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. 2 b cntd