Autism Educational Advocacy: The Expert Ally

Many autistic children are still viewed through a behavioral lens.

But autism is not a behavioral disorder.

What often gets labeled as a “behavior problem” is usually a sign that the autistic child is overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, unsupported, in pain, unable to communicate a need, or expected to function in an environment that does not match their neurotype.

When we focus only on stopping the behavior, we often miss the reason the behavior is happening.

Behavioral struggles in autism are frequently connected to:
• sensory overload
• burnout and exhaustion
• anxiety
• communication differences
• unmet physiological needs
• environments that are not appropriately accommodating
• demands that exceed current coping or regulation capacity

This does not mean there should be no expectations, boundaries, or skill building.

It means that support, accommodations, communication tools, regulation support, and environmental fit matter enormously.

The goal should not be to make autistic children appear less autistic.

The goal should be to understand what is making things hard and make things easier.

Many autistic, ADHD, and other ND children feels unsafe in schools. We can help and support by adjusting the environment and teaching self-advocacy skills. Once you teach self-advocacy skills, that comes with the responsibility to respect when those skills are used and honor the needs the child is advocating for.

School can be a much better environment for our kids. Accommodations can be included on 504 plans and IEPs. Accommodations can be offered when needed.

Schools is often hard for our kids. Let's do what we can to make it easier.

Half of my practice is as a special education advocate, advocating for better 504 and IEP plans for neurodivegent kids in schools, and the second half is as a psychotherapist with focus on neurodivergent children and adults. I specialize in anxiety, phobias, OCD, trauma, and general developmental support.

The two halves of my practice support each other. Knowing what children experience in school helps me understand their needs in psychotherapy. Seeing the children individually and hearing their stories helps me come into schools with better understanding of what needs to be improved.

These are some of the things I consistently see as a therapist. They are deeply concerning to me. I see significant mental health struggles that are due to things that can be easily corrected and improved. It is fortunate that children can have access to psychotherapy and they benefit from the support. But it would be so great if their school experience were better in the first place. They still might experience mental health challenges, but their severity might be at a different level. Much trauma can be prevented by a school environment that is ND-friendly.

*** For clarity, I never act as a psychotherapist and advocate for the same child. I can only be in one role. As a psychotherapist, I can coordinate with the school to make improvements.

A reminder as we are entering the holiday season. Holidays can be challenging for many reasons, and for people who have sensory differences, food is one of them. So, this is a public announcement for those who are trying to figure out how to honor their needs this holiday season, and especially for those who are hosting these holidays. If you are hosting, please be sensitive to those with sensory differences around food. Do not take these food preferences personally. They are not about you. And accommodating sensory needs can make the holidays so much better for those who experience sensory differences.

Please have an open mind about sensory differences and those who experience them.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Warmly, Yulika

The right accommodations can make the world of difference for autistic/ADHD students in school. Yet, so often I do not see the right accommodations on 504 plans and IEPs.

If you are neurodiversity-affirming and stop wanting to "fix" the autistic students in order for them to fit into an environment that is designed for neurotypical students... then we need to adjust the environment to fit our autistic and other neurodivergent learners.

And we need to be creative about finding the right accommodations. There are many common ones that are easy to reach for, but often we need accommodations that are unique and fit a unique profile. The five accommodations I am listing here and much less common. But they can be very helpful, and can be easily implemented.

I love talking and thinking about accommodations! They make life so much easier for autistic/ADHD/neurodivergent students (and for adults, too!). If you need a consultation around accommodations, send me a DM, I am here!

This is worth talking about over and over. It is hard for our autistic clients to find a felt sense of safety. As professionals, it is on us to do everything we can to create it. It is not up to our autistic clients to learn to feel safe with us. A huge part of our work is in creating safety for each client as that specific client needs it to be. We will fail many times, but that is on us also to learn from our mistakes, to apologize for our mistakes, to keep learning, and to continuously keep our client's sense of felt safety in mind.

Warmly, Yulika

Neurodivergent children are often pushed beyond their capacities in the name of "progress." This includes academic demands, but also attending therapies and activities to the point of not having any time to spend on things that restore energy, such as time with special interests, playing games of interest, pursuing any other activity just for pleasure, or just spending quiet time alone.

The expectations from family and school to perform regardless of the internal cost often get internalized, and show up as internalized ableism. Trying to meet the expectations can also lead to mental health challenges.

This can become a defining factor in someone's life trajectory. When "progress" is gained at the cost of mental health, it will eventually show. There will be burnout, or a crash, or a mental health emergency.

It is important for parents and other adults to teach neurodivergent children that they need to routinely monitor and honor their needs. They need to use their accommodations without shame. When that attitude is modeled by as many people as possible, it has a chance to getting internalized instead of ableism being internalized.

Imagine having an internal voice that says, "It is ok to take a break... it is ok if I need extra rest... It is OK if I have to take fewer classes... It is OK if I need to go slower... "

For most neurodivergent people I have worked with, it took years to be able to treat themselves with kindness and self-compassion, because it was never modeled for them.

Just wrote a new blog about adapting therapy for kids who have various brain-based differences.

Specifically, as therapist, I often need to provide information to the child about the condition we are treating, such as anxiety, phobia, or OCD. For children with neurodevelopmental differences, how this information is presented needs to be adapted.

Attention, self-regulation, and sensory differences, which can all be interconnected, also affect the process of therapy. How do create a safe environment while doing goal-directed work? In my opinion, it is NOT by telling the child first we work, then you can have a movement break. I share some ideas in my blog.

Children who have memory issues, especially those with history of seizures, struggle to retain information overnight, and long-term. They need consistent visual anchors in order to help them with understanding and retention. In my blog, I share some ideas for making this happen.

These strategies can also be helpful to parents and other professionals working with neurodivergent children.

Please check out the post and the blog, and leave comments with any additional ideas you might have.

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I think so many people have no idea what it is like to parent a child who is autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, PDA, has learning disabilities, mental health challenges, etc. Many other parents will either dismiss or say they understand, but it is just very hard to understand without knowing intimately all the challenges and also all the joys.

Parenting any child is not easy. Parenting a neurodivergent child is different because the parenting workload is so much more, as a parent you are often working against common wisdom and are being judged, and your child's future might look very different from what is typical.

Please share what it is like for you, or for parents you work with.

Warmly,
Yulika

It breaks my heart that so many neurodivergent children and adults have terrible experiences with assessments and trying to be formally identified/diagnosed. Assessments take so much time, effort, and money... The hopes, the anxiety, the deep meaning of the assessment results are immense... And when assessments end up not being helpful and at times even harmful, the emotional impact can be intense and long-lasting.

Because I have worked with so many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults who had bad assessment experiences, I ended up getting trained in doing assessments and now I offer them. I wanted to share information about neurodiversity-affirming assessments because so many people do not even know that they exist, or what they are like, or that a good experience is possible.

I am posting this information with full awareness that accessing any kind of an assessment is a privilege and many people do not have access. As a therapist and a coach, I accept self-diagnosis.

Supporting neurodivergent students starts with goals that honor who they are.