Self Betterment Coaching by Maya Daouk

Humility and arrogance results in two types of leaders.
〰️One will create an environment of excitement and possibility while the other will create an environment of defensiveness, fear and manipulation.

In the later, employees report experiencing fear, stress and anger.

They are anxious, cynical and resentful because of the leadership style adopted in their organizations.

They have low motivation and are doing the minimum necessary to keep them from being fired.

If you are operating in such an environment and you need to speak to someone about it, reach out to a coach as it can take a heavy toll on you if you leave things unaddressed.

〰️ Arrogance is the believe that your perspective is privileged and the only true way to interpret situations.

〰️ Humility is acknowledging that no one has a special claim on reality or truth. Others have equally valid perspectives deserving respect and consideration.
It sounds like giving your point of view and adding "for me", thus acknowledging that it is not necessarily the case for the other person.

Opinions can diverge yet remain equally valid.

〰️ Humility allows you to create perspective and appreciate a situation from another's point of view.

〰️ Everyone has a tendency to interpret things in one way and unconsciously exclude other possibilities.

〰️ Assumptions, generalizations, beliefs and values are the filters that allow you to make sense of your world.
They result in different interpretations, feelings, opinions and actions.

The difficulty comes when you assume that your truth is The Truth and that your way of thinking is the only reasonable way of understanding a given situation.

This results in conflicts in your personal and professional relationships.

〰️ These filters are invisible to us.

Talking to your coach will help reveal these blind spots and exam your assumptions, interpretations, limiting believes and fears that are unconsciously dictating your choices.

Remove the pressure of finding the right thing to do and focus on the best thing that you can do.

When you focus on making the "best" decision instead of looking for the "right" one, you realize that there are multiple solutions to any situation.

We see the world through a set of filters that make up our perceptions and judgments of what is wrong or right. If we hold on to what we think is right and forget other options or choices, we will not be looking at the full picture.

Although being right is gratifying to our self-confidence, the question is do we want to prove we are right or do we want to be effective?

How can you relieve yourself from this pressure?

I suggest that you:

〰️Trust yourself, don't rely on the opinions of others, remove stress, fear, and self-doubt to access your own wisdom.
〰️Know that you are always doing the best you can in any given moment.
〰️Recognize that "best" can change so you can always modify your decision later if need be.

Same goes for your plans. Come up with the "best" plan not the "right" one and understand that your plan will change over time.

Coaching can help you improve your decision-making process.
✔Coaching helps you recognize that you already know more than you think you know.
✔It empowers you to see past your fears and doubts to take actions that are aligned with your purpose and values.
✔It creates a safe space for growth as you explore your thoughts, feelings and behaviors without the fear of being judged.
✔It helps you hold yourself accountable for your decisions and action-plans.

If you feel that coaching can be beneficial for you, reach out and set this step in motion.

🍃Our actions are an expression of our values.
Part of our success is the alignment between our behaviors and values.
When they do we feel pride and when they don’t we feel guilt.

Acting in alignment with our values is a choice that no one can take away from us.

🍃Our integrity depends on our capacity to remain aware and make conscious decisions in the face of fear and temptation.
As you may know, in situations of emotional intensity, our thinking brain is short circuited and our instinctual brain takes over. It pushes us towards pleasure and away from pain. We are genetically programmed this way.

The down side is that we indulge in behaviors to get immediate gratification to soothe ourselves.

We drink, eat, scroll or binge watch series to feel a relief, a new form of addiction that many of us are facing today.

🍃Our safety net is our commitment to essential values such as respect, honesty, freedom, resilience, courage, dignity, kindness, compassion, excellence or love which are the key to happiness, peace, self-esteem and dignity.

If you think about it, everything we do is to ultimately get more happiness. However, happiness comes from integrity rather than simply achieving a desired outcome at any cost.

🍃Sometimes we might not achieve success because we chose not to compromise our values however we will have the peace of mind of knowing that we acted honorably. Imagine how our world would be different if everyone acted this way!

But does that mean that success is not important? Of course not!
When we act based on our value of excellence, we will use our resources fully, doing our best to achieve success.

🍃You can learn more about which values are most important to you and how close are you living in alignment with them by taking a values assessment over a complimentary coaching session. You can use my Calendly to book a meeting and type Values in the title.

Responsibility is not about blaming yourself, others or circumstances.
As a leader, and we all are leaders in our lives, taking responsibility for your contribution in any event allows you to be a central character who has contributed to shape the story and who can thus affect its future.
It drastically improves your response-ability to situations.
⚡Response-ability will help you understand what you did or didn’t do that participated in creating a problem and decide what you can do or not do to resolve it and prevent it from happening again.
🟠It puts you at choice.
🔶This is the opposite of seeing yourself as a victim who can only suffer the consequences of others' actions and circumstances.
⚡Response-ability gives you power and creates openness to solutions as you pay attention to the factors that you can influence while a victim mentality creates defensiveness and blame with little influence on the outcome.
⚡With response-ability you are far better able to resolve a conflict and address a problem even if the results that you seek are not guaranteed.
🟠What you can ensure is that you respond in your best ability to a challenge with integrity as you act in alignment with your values.
🟠You will have the peace of mind and joy from knowing that regardless of the challenge you behaved righteously in the face of your trials.

🧡It takes courage to hold yourself accountable for your part of a problem however taking responsibility will grant you freedom to act with integrity and power to influence your reality. It can also encourage others to accept their contribution and start participating in the solution.

If you need support to take on this self-empowering journey, with the help of your coach you can take back control and face your challenges in the truest version of yourself.

I am very happy to announce that you can find me on the Hakkini website to book your sessions. We have a special offer until the end of August with a 20% discount on your first paid session.
See you soon!

Trusting the process is doing everything you can to prepare yourself for a goal and letting go in the moment to allow what you’ve worked on to be demonstrated.
I am very proud of this achievement in my coach path. I am also very grateful to all the circumstances and the people that lead me to this success.

Vote for change!
“Change is the only constant”
You have a choice to make a difference, make yourself heard.

The idea of fear not existing in the present moment as I was reading it in my CORE Energy Dynamics program made me feel so free. It made me understand the concept that there is no truth in the future because it hasn't happened yet.

Living in the moment allows me to channel all my energy into what I'd like to accomplish instead of draining it in anticipation that something negative might happen (again).

It is important that we explore our fears to get to the core of the issues.
〰️We fear losing something that we value,
〰️We fear change and the unknown,
〰️We fear failure and/or success,
〰️We fear embarrassment,
〰️and the most energetically charged one is we fear that we are not being good enough at …..

The voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough is what we call at iPEC your gremlin message.
This message loses its power once it is exposed.

An important part of coaching is working on our inner blocks, stopping us from playing full out.
From my experience, having powerful coaching conversations will shift your mindsets and set you up for success instead of living in the shadows of fear.

➖Empathy is connecting with another person emotionally and sharing their experience by seeing the world through their eyes without judging them or their situation.

➖Empathy strengthens our relationships with ourselves and others. It allows us to build social connections with others and helps us learn to regulate our own emotions.

➖Sympathy differs from empathy by feeling sorry for the other person and judging their feelings as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative.

One foundation principle I learned during my coach training with iPEC is "Our level of true awareness is directly related to our lack of judging."

➖Judgment leads us to live in the duality of good or bad, right or wrong, mine or yours, and therefore limits our ability to see all available possibilities when dealing with situations as they arise.

➖Judgment affects our relationship with others by setting expectations that often lead to disappointment and blame and perpetuates a sense of separation from one another.

➖The same goes when we judge our thoughts, emotions, and sensations instead of acknowledging them and accepting them for what they are.

Keeping a judgment journal can help you bring awareness to your internal dialogue about yourself and others.

🍃An Interpretation is an opinion or a judgment that we make about a life event, behavior, situation or experience that is based on our beliefs and past experiences.
🍃We believe this story to be true and we start looking for evidence to support it when it's really only one viewpoint among many others.
🍃We hold on to our interpretations and we start looking for evidence to support it 👀, leaving little room to consider other possibilities.
🍃By limiting our choices, we may feel that we have little control over our reactions to situations.

▶Challenge your interpretations by simply asking yourself, what is another way to look at the situation.
Just realizing that you can look at the situation from a different angle takes away from the power of your interpretation.
▶Consider what might your friend's, or someone else's, perspective of the situation be?
▶Think what would someone who had the complete opposite point of view from yours say about the situation?

What interpretations are you making that are limiting you in some way?

If you are going through a transition or if you are trying new things and you start feeling that you are not good enough, check in with yourself to see if you are experiencing imposter syndrome.

⚠️People with imposter syndrome feel as a fraud despite many evidence of their success. In fact, doing well at something does not change their beliefs about themselves.

⚠️They are not able to internalize their experiences of success and keep attributing them to external factors such as luck, good timing or making huge and unsustainable efforts. Imposter syndrome might motivate some people to achieve but it comes at the cost of living with constant anxiety.

To overcome imposter syndrome:
➡️ Start by acknowledging your expertise and accomplishments to shift your mindset about your own abilities.
➡️Remember that you earned your place at work.
➡️Focus on your achievements instead of comparing yourself to others.
➡️Expect to make mistakes at the beginning of a new experience.
➡️Talk to a trusted person about your feelings be it a loved one, a mentor, or a coach.