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Effective Decision Making Part 3

Teenagehood mostly comes with the necessity of decision making. The decisions made at this point in their lives have a ripple effect on their adult selves, career being one of them.

It is amazing that we ask them what career they would want to pursue in life, but more amazing and needful is the skill to look at every opportunity and analyse them based on whether or not it offers growth to them. Let's start instilling those decision-making skills. It is never too early to start shaping their values and beliefs. It's also never too late.

With love,
Yvette.

Effective Decision Making Part 2

There's this channel my daughter loves watching videos from. I honestly never get what value it has. I one time came from work and found my YouTube watch history full of videos from the same. My usual reaction would have been that of any typical parent but this time round, I chose to act differently.

"What did you learn from what you watched today?" I asked.
She gave me summaries of what the videos were about, but, with all that said, could not come up with what lesson she learnt. With that, she had to make a decision on whether or not she thought that the YouTube program helped her become better.

Such approaches go a long way in instilling self-reflection and analytical skills. Only one of such active conversational approach towards decision making doesn't make a lasting imprint but more of such will definitely do the needful in effective parenting.

All the best as you journey through the beauty of parenting.

Effective Decision Making 1

Better than just asking children their goals and dreams with respect to career pathways, it is better to instill the skill of effective decision making.

There are times when my daughter asks for permission as to whether or not she should watch some programs on television. At first I always gave her a yes or no answer. Till I realized that some of her requests were just an arm twisting endeavour to put all the blame on me if I ever rose up to oppose what I once supported. I then changed my answer. For any particular program whose boundaries I already set, I would let her think about how I would react if I came in and saw her watching the program. Then with that she would make her decision.

These are some of the baby steps towards self internalization and effective decision making.

Understanding is in being able to connect dots and concepts.
If a learner struggles with their understanding, it simply means that they still can't connect the concept blocks together, and the concept must be taught step by step from its beginning until they grasp it. It's almost like the day a unit in math was being introduced and you missed it, you'd always end up struggling in that unit until the foundation of it is carefully taught to you again.

Some learners can easily connect the dots and fly right through the lesson, while some need a bit more calm and loving hand-holding.

Once you realise this as a parent, you can hand-hold your child as you communicate to his or her teachers about the areas of concern and weakness, both curriculum-wise and psychosocial (for enhanced teamwork).

If you are a parent and still clueless about where to start, you can always ask for assistance.

In my experience I have learnt that our children will have feelings, it is how we help them navigate through that matters.

1. Always validate their feelings. Don't undermine that they feel a certain way. If they tell you they felt hurt by what someone said and maybe you consider it a small thing; don't be quick to rubbish it off and tell them there's no time to feel bad about what people say. Instead tell them this, "It is true. A lot of people say hurtful things and we are only human enough to feel hurt."
2. After validating their feelings, you have to lay truth before them. Now truth comes in not to show them the power of trying to stabilize their external environment but of trying to stabilize their internal environment. For instance in this case, you say this:-
"People will always say hurtful things that are not true, so there's no way we can stop people, but you have to realize what you want to believe in and stand by it. Do you want to believe what they said, or do you want to believe in what you know is true."

In summary: we validate their feelings and not throw them under the carpet, but we also balance the feelings with truth in order to foster resilience in them.

Depending on each situation to tackle; you can tackle it immediately or take time and find the right words to use when handling the issues.

Children also feel the pressure

A study was done in adults and several people except one were asked to state an obviously wrong answer and stand by it. When it came to the one who had no prior information about what was going on, he also decided to go with everyone else's answer because self doubt creeped in.

This psychology study gives us a glimpse of just how much a pressurised environment can affect someone's confidence and assertiveness.

Children are also not exempted. If a child is unable to state a letter correctly even when everyone else in class got it right, if not helped in time the pressure they experience adversely affects their state of mind.

Confidence is key in learning. As a parent you can help contribute to your child's confidence by words of affirmation, helping them out with schoolwork (lovingly and interactively). If you also notice that a particular learning environment is no longer conducive for your child, please don't be afraid to take the step of changing that learning environment for them.

Every woman who goes the extra mile to encourage the young, champions for their rights, and speaks life into generations, we see you and acknowledge your efforts. You are a mother, and we honour you this day.

To all mothers out there, the sacrifice and intentionality are never in vain. Happy Mother's Day 🎉🎊.

With love,
G.I.R Consultancy

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