What She Said-254

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My husband of 8 years was in the shower when I noticed he got a “New Match!” notification on his phone.
We met during a rainy July in the city, huddled under an umbrella and waiting for a bus. He was charming, laughing about the unpredictable weather.
"I promise I’m more reliable than the forecast," he joked.
But eight years later, his phone buzzing in our bedroom proved that was a lie.
I stood there holding his folded laundry, and a second message flashed from a hidden contact:
"I’m so glad we connected."
He was already hunting for someone who “actually understands” him.
I didn’t scream.
I didn’t confront him right away.
Instead, I dug deeper… and found every single message he sent.
He told people our marriage was just a series of errands now.
That I was a good woman… but basically a roommate who handled the bills.
He sent them a selfie from OUR bedroom.
While I sat three feet away on the couch.
Then he planned to meet someone at a hotel close to where we live.
Friday at seven.
I arrived early and sat perfectly still, waiting right where he would see me the second he walked through the glass doors.
He strolled in, excitedly scanning the room for the woman who was going to save him from his miserable marriage.
Then his eyes landed on me, and he froze completely.

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I’m struggling. I have tried these steps time and time again, only to get worse and worse treatment. I asked one day why he sees me hurt and has been only allowing it to get worse. He said, “Because you seem fine with it, I don’t hear you b**ch anymore”. Having no outside influences, alcohol or drugs, I just wonder how someone can be so cruel and accept coming home to see someone treat them with respect while actively making it harder on them. Another quote that has been stuck in my head lately is “know your place” he use to say this to me a lot when I would mention I’m too sick (early pregnancy) to cook or I have to drop off my daughter and can’t drive to jury duty (he owns his own car that runs perfectly) and I am just looked at and told know you’re place, usually followed up with a text, I’m sleeping at my brothers tonight. I can’t take it anymore, and yet it’s all I’m doing. How was your day, sorry I wasn’t home. I told you this morning we had a parent-teacher meeting, but it’s ok, I handled it. Would you like to help me with something? “No,” ok then, with a smile. It just gets worse.

Woman says something is wrong with ALL men after she goes through another break-up... done dating 🤔

I’m so fundamentally broken to the point where I don’t know if I should just laugh about it at this point or cry about it. Like, you cannot convince me otherwise that I am defective in some way. There is nothing left in me to keep going in terms of trying to fix myself. I am so unbelievably tired and hopeless and defeated that every single guy, every single one that I talk to, every single one, is the same person in a different body. It’s someone that I have to ask multiple times to communicate with me. Last time I checked, communication is like the foundation of a relationship. Why do I even have to ask you for that, period? And what’s crazier about this is that they always pursue me first. They pursue me first. So, make it make sense to me that they pursue me first. I show interest. I open myself up to the experience, and then they don’t even want to check in with me throughout the day. They don’t want to talk to me. They don’t want to get on phone calls or FaceTime with me. And then I’m left being the man in the relationship. I’m the one who has to ask for something that should be a given. And I swear to God if anybody comments, “You’re the common denominator,” you’re getting blocked. I know that I’m the common denominator. I have been trying to fix and work on this for years. When I tell you I am never responding to a man again. I am never giving a man the time of day again because I cannot put myself through this anymore. In fact, I don’t even let myself get excited over the prospect of a guy, even if he seems interesting at first, because I know it’s not going to work out. I literally just know it’s not going to work out. So, I almost want to respond to them and be like, “Why are you DMing me?” Because I know in like a month from now, you’re just going to stop talking to me, or I’m going to have to ask you for communication. I have so much resentment towards my childhood because I know this is where it stems from.