Getting Your Mind In Gear

Getting Your Mind In Gear Mental coaching for female and LGBTQ cyclists and endurance athletes Hi! I’m Pat Spencer. I am a licensed clinical social worker.

I am a therapist with my own private practice in central New Jersey. I work primarily with trauma and the LGBTQ community. I am an avid gravel cyclist, former long course triathlete, marathoner, and occasional open water swimmer. When I am not working you can find me lifting heavy stuff at the gym, exploring the roads in the north east USA or scuba diving somewhere in the world. Of course I also love some down time on the couch with my wife, our cats while watching college football or Jeopardy!.

Who among my friend is this old……my Walkman was the height of music on the go technology….. I even had AM and FM radio…....
16/08/2026

Who among my friend is this old……my Walkman was the height of music on the go technology….. I even had AM and FM radio….. what???? Run DMC, Bruce Springsteen, Huey Lewis and the News, Eddy Murphy AND a mixtape…. Yes I was that cool….. comment below your favorite cassettes and mix tape songs….

Short on time? Stack your goals. 🏊‍♀️✨We all have the same 24 hours, and fitting in everything we want to achieve can fe...
11/08/2026

Short on time? Stack your goals. 🏊‍♀️✨

We all have the same 24 hours, and fitting in everything we want to achieve can feel impossible. The secret isn’t finding more time—it’s overlapping your goals when you can.

Today in the pool, I knocked out 3 goals at once:

1️⃣ Pacing: Hit a speed workout to get a little faster.
2️⃣ Presence: Practiced staying in the moment by focusing entirely on my stroke form, the feel of the water, and tracing the blue line at the bottom.
3️⃣ Joy: Intentionally tuned into how much I genuinely love being in the water.

You don’t always need three separate blocks of time for three separate goals. Sometimes you just need to bring extra intention to the time you already have.

How are you making space for your goals this week? 👇

From an in-water panic attack to  ring back on the start line 🏊 We all face challenges one set backs. Some are minor set...
03/08/2026

From an in-water panic attack to ring back on the start line 🏊

We all face challenges one set backs. Some are minor set backs others may temporarily derail us..

We are not guaranteed a return to “normal” but we are guaranteed an opportunity to adapt, learn and grow.

If you have ever had to rebuild yourself after a set back this one is for you! Click the link in my bio to for the full story!!

Let me know in the comments what obstacles you have overcome.

02/08/2026

My 1st multisport event in 9 years!!! LFG!!! Steelman aqua bike is my 1st foray back into 2 sports in one event….. I’ll be on a gravel bike, not a tri bike; my kit doesn’t match but I don’t care. Sweat and challenge don’t care if you are wearing the “right” thing.

23/07/2026
18/07/2026

You signed up for the race. You did the training. So why does the thought of the start line make you want to turn the car around? 🚗💨
Let’s talk about race day nerves.
It’s completely normal to feel a little flutter in your stomach, a dash of self-doubt, or the classic “nervous belly.” That just means you care! But there’s a massive difference between normal jitters and the kind of anxiety that literally keeps you from showing up. 🛑
When nerves cross the line into paralyzing fear, it looks a bit different:
Instead of mild doubt, it’s an intense, overwhelming belief that you can’t do it.
Instead of excitement, it’s a loud voice telling you that you don’t belong there.
It gives you the courage to press “register,” but steals your confidence when it’s time to actually line up.
If you’ve ever sat in your car on race morning or skipped packet pickup because the anxiety felt too heavy: you are not alone, and you do not have to fight this by yourself. 🤝
You deserve to cross that start line. Let’s get you there.
🔗 Click the link in my bio to check out my website, or drop me a DM right now. Let’s conquer those nerves together so you can finally see what you’re capable of! 🏃‍♂️✨

What’s the best part of gravel riding? 🤔Is it the dirt? The challenge? The scenery? Or that unbeatable community vibe?Go...
01/07/2026

What’s the best part of gravel riding? 🤔

Is it the dirt? The challenge? The scenery? Or that unbeatable community vibe?

Good news: You don’t have to choose. The 1st ever Fest has all of it packed into one incredible weekend. We’re talking skill-building clinics, epic rides, delicious food, and live music.

Come ride, learn, and hang out with me! Who’s joining? 🚴‍♂️✨

👇 Drop a comment if you’re in, or tag your favorite riding buddy!

29/06/2026

57 years after Stonewall, we like to talk about how far we’ve come. But the timeline tells a different story. 🧵
I’m 54. In my lifetime, we went from criminalization to federal marriage equality. But “progress” isn’t distributed equally.
Look at sports. We’ve rightfully celebrated the growing acceptance and openness of the LGBTQ+ community in women’s sports. Women athletes have forged a path of visibility. Yet, men’s sports remain locked in a culture of fear. Being an out gay male athlete is still incredibly dangerous for a career.
Don’t believe me? Try to think of just one active, openly gay male athlete in the NFL, NBA, or D1 NCAA sports.
From the locker room to the doctor’s office where our trans brothers and sisters are being denied care—the fight is right now.
🏳️‍🌈 Read the full piece via the link in my bio.

Stop what you are doing. Open your YouTube app, watch this video. I have seen many videos of athletes doing the continen...
16/05/2026

Stop what you are doing. Open your YouTube app, watch this video. I have seen many videos of athletes doing the continental divide. No video has inspired me as much as this one about students at Central Wyoming College. Thank you for sharing this story

You don’t need a “label” to deserve support. 🛑In my latest blog post, I’m pulling back the curtain on mental health diag...
06/05/2026

You don’t need a “label” to deserve support. 🛑
In my latest blog post, I’m pulling back the curtain on mental health diagnoses. Did you know the manual used to diagnose (the DSM) was originally created in the 1940s? It’s a tool with flaws, and it doesn’t always capture the full picture of your “heavy” days.
The truth? You can be struggling significantly even if you don’t perfectly fit into a box in a book.
In the blog, I break down:
✨ The difference between mental health vs. mental illness
✨ Why your “inner bully” tells you to just toughen it out
✨ The 4 main paths to support (from peers to PHP)
Stop waiting for a crisis to choose yourself. You deserve to feel well, label or not.
🔗 Read the full breakdown at the link in my bio!

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