Autism Skilling Centre for Young Adults

Autism Life Skills Center:
Opening on April 2,
Near Sri Shirdi Sai Temple, Hyderabad
Tellapur

Autism and ( Sexually )Inappropriate behaviours:

I know that the topic I am now posting is normally a hush-hush and brushed under the carpet and a discussion itself is ' inappropriate '!

Adolescents with autism may exhibit many challenging behaviors during puberty. This can be compared to NT adolescents as hormonal changes and sexual curiosity during this time is at its peak.

" It is important for parents to recognize that it is common for individuals with ASD to display sexual behaviors (Van Bourgondien, Reichle, & Palmer, 1997)”.

The majority of parents of adolescents with Autism in India experience the challenge of teaching or making their adolescent sons to behave in an appropriate sexual manner.

I meet parents of adolescents with autism with severe issues like above where in people or even Neighbours have filed complaints with the police little realising that it's an autistic adult they are complaining of!

The law in India itself has little awareness of autism and this results in physical assault of the young adult in public or even in a police station.

In the western countries Autism experts work in close co - ordination with law agencies to help the young adults with autism before they are treated as 'criminals’.

So, where do we draw the line?
When do we start to teach to draw a line?
How do these inappropriate touches start?

I am sure most of you reading this post is not going to like it when I say "it starts at home"!

Most young children sleep with parents and many a time cuddled by the mother. This is an accepted societal norm and nothing wrong as such as most children may need help during the nights as well!

But as the child "grows up" and enters puberty, it is time to train your child to sleep in a separate room or at least in a separate bed in the same room!

While touching a mother is acceptable while the child is small, the same touch becomes inappropriate once the child enters puberty!

The mother needs to let go!

I know it's difficult but then don't you want the right social norms taught to your son?( Freud calls this a mother-son fixation or Oedipus Complex ?)

Although it may be difficult, it is important for parents to identify inappropriate sexual behaviors early and respond accordingly.

The longer a parent waits to intervene, the more difficult it will be to address or change the behavior.
Most common inappropriate sexual behaviors include touching self, touching others, ma********on in public, and removing clothes ( displaying ) in public.

If appropriate social skills, self-care skills, and language skills have not been taught prior to puberty, parents may have difficulty responding to their child’s inappropriate sexual behaviors in a positive and productive manner.

It is better to teach the child self care skills like 'cleaning' himself while having a shower than you or a caregiver ' cleaning ' him that may result in inappropriate stimulus leading to at times abuse too by a caregiver.

The problems are confounded when there is a female sibling and behaviours that were OK are suddenly NOT OK, especially when the siblings friends come calling home!

Making simple changes in sleeping habits can go a long way in addressing this major concern in its initial stage itself.

Is it OK to ask your child to hug a visiting female friend or it's better to teach in Puberty that a similar hug now is Not OK!

Is it OK to plant a kiss on his lips when he is small but Not OK when he is an adolescent!

I have observed mother's giving a kiss on her son's lips even after he is a young adult!
Is this an acceptable social norm?

Small social skills that are OK now can later be a source of inappropriate behaviours later as he grows to be a young adult.

The first step in addressing inappropriate sexual behaviors is to determine what, if any, environmental changes can be made to reduce the likelihood that an inappropriate sexual behavior will occur.

Parents need to be creative in their attempts to modify environments, and these simple modifications can frequently prevent inappropriate behaviors.

For example, I always suggest change in different types or styles of undergarments or clothing and that helped reduce the likelihood that their child would engage in inappropriate behaviors.

Another way I encourage is that their child wear a tight ' belt' has resulted in reducing their child’s attempts to engage in ( hands in pants ) inappropriate self-touching.

If a specific object is frequently associated with the behavior, limiting or removing the access to the object can also be effective.

Simple modifications such as these can produce immediate results and are often implemented with minimal effort.

Do not wait till the inappropriate behaviour becomes a major embarrassment for you.

Act now!

AK Kundra PhD (PsY)
©️2026

Opening very Soon in Tellapur, Hyd.
Autism Life Skills Center for adolescents & young adults.

Is your child 12 or older?

Concerned about puberty, shifting behaviours, and how to explain body changes and sexuality?

Join me for an informative, interactive talk where you’ll gain practical language, age-appropriate explanations, and strategies to support your child through adolescence.

Register now!

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