Barbara M. Carlisle

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AITA for calling out my sister in law and my brother on their parenting skills and embarrassing humiliating them?

My (21F) SIL (34F) has 3 children. The oldest one is 8 years old, and she has twins (6F who we’ll call Ann & 6M who we’ll call George).

My SIL and my brother are very conservative. I don’t mean it in political terms, mainly in how they don’t accept LGBTQ+, men being feminine, girls being loud etc.

On a few occasions I had applied makeup for Ann when she felt in the mood. It was just light makeup which she often paired with Disney princess gowns/princessy dresses. I would make sure to remove the makeup before her bedtime.

A few days back, George saw me applying the makeup on Ann and he asked me to do so too.
So for the past few days, George, Ann and I really bonded through the makeup thing.

He really enjoys doing it and would laugh the whole while.

Recently, my SIL saw me doing their makeup and was absolutely horrified. At first I thought it was a “they are too young and their skin would break out” kinda thing so I was reassuring her, telling her that I was removing the makeup on time, etc, and it was pretty light so it wouldn’t cause any breakouts/pimples.

She waved that all away and said that she had seen Ann wear makeup on a few previous occasions and was fine with it. What she was angry at, though, was that George was also wearing makeup.

At that time, I just kinda waved it off as I wasn’t in the mood for arguing and instead just told her that that belief was incredibly harmful and that George enjoyed having makeup put on his face. She immediately retorted with a “makeup will make a boy gay” argument. I repeated a few variations of the harmful belief argument and at the end she seemed to understand what I meant so I left it at that.

Last night, a couple of our extended family and friends came over for dinner. (They all tested negative for COVID, btw)

At the...

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AITA for taking my neighbors rabbit that they left outside by the road and not giving it back?

The people across the street got their two year old daughter a rabbit. After a week they put it in a tiny cage out by the end of their driveway with no food or water and left it there. There was no sign or anything indicating that they wanted to sell or give it away.

After a full day where they did not go anywhere near the rabbit I went over and gave it food and water. I also knocked on their door and asked if they were getting rid of him. They said no, they were just doing some “rearranging” and needed to get him out of the way for a couple days. I told them I noticed the poor thing didn’t have food or water and they said they would take care of it. They didn’t check on the rabbit the next few days so I again provided him with food and water myself. On days 3 and 4 I called to report animal abuse but there was never any follow up. At the end of day five (after it had been raining for an hour) I finally took the poor thing out of the filthy cage it was in and brought it into my own house to care for it the way it deserves. I have a cousin who’s kept rabbits her whole life and she agreed to take it this weekend.

This morning they knocked on my door with their screaming child in tow and threatened to call the cops on me and saying that I ruined their child’s Easter. I denied doing it and they admitted they didn’t actually see who took it so they left.

I don’t feel bad about taking the rabbit and I’d do it again in a heartbeat HOWEVER I have a friend who is adamant I am in the wrong. She says I should have talked to the parents again and worked it out with them directly rather than steal from them and their child.

So AITA for what I did?

Edit: seeing all the...

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WIBTA For Requesting a Refund After An Employee Wrote Bible Verses All Over My Takeout?

Okay this is weird. My husband and I ordered door dash tonight and we requested from a small restaurant in town. The thing is, EVERY takeout item they wrote some sort of Bible verse. Upon looking on their website they don't appear to be overly religious. I just think it's really messed up to push your religion on someone like that and I wish I would've ordered elsewhere. What do you guys think? Was this over the top and I'm justified in requesting a refund?

Edit: since a lot of people have asked. No I have not eaten the food. I would never eat food and then request a refund that is an automatic AH in my book.

Edit 2: Since this blew up and most people thought I would be the a__hole I did not request a refund or complain to the manager. I can only assume that this is normal for them and I won't be doing business again. Also had no idea about in and out. I live in the Midwest so I haven't had it but one or two times.

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AITA for laughing at the conversation between my sister and wife?

As we were eating , my wife started suggesting that my sister becomes a vegan. It would be healthy for her etc. My sister respectfully declined. My wife didn't stop and continued insisting. She said that if my sister watches one of these slaughterhouse documentaries, she would change her mind. My sister then responds that she knows what happens to the animals, she doesn't need to watch it. My wife said that no watching it is different. My sister then responds " fine I will watch it with you, but if I don't change my mind you will not try to convince me again ". My wife was like challenge accepted.

So we sat down and watched it . I don't know if it was intentional or not, my sister did the " that's sad , anyway meme ". She said " well that's sad, anyway I don't care I will continue eating meat ". Here I started laughing. My wife is now pi**ed. My sister said " sorry I am just joking". My wife was like you shouldn't be apologizing to me, you should be apologizing to the animals that suffer every day. My sister said " ok sorry cows sorry chickens ". Here I laughed so much. My sister left and now my wife is pi**ed at me . So AITA?

So we sat down and watched it . I I don't know it it was intentional or not, my sister did the " that's sad , anyway meme ". She said " well that's sad, anyway I don't care I will continue eating meat ". Here I started laughing. My wife is now pi**ed. My sister said " sorry I am just joking". My wife was like you shouldn't be apologizing to me, you should be apologizing to the animals that suffer every day. My sister said " ok sorry cows sorry chickens ". Here I laughed so much. My sister left and now my wife is pi**ed at me . So AITA?

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AITA for joking that my daughter might not be mine?

I know it sounds bad, but if you just let me explain the joke I think it’s pretty funny.

I gave birth 6mo ago to a gorgeous baby girl. She’s beautiful, the light of my life, and while she doesn’t look exactly like me, I see a lot of myself in her face, if that makes sense. She’s not my copy, but she’s definitely mine, a blind man could see the resemblance. Meanwhile, she doesn’t look anything like my husband, but she has mannerisms similar to his and they both have a single dimple on the same cheek. Anyway, my ILs looooove to tell me how she looks nothing like me. Literally every time they see her, they go on and on about how she looks just like my husband, when she doesn’t. So in response, I’d started to say, “Well, yunno, maybe she’s not mine. They took her out of the room for an hour when she was first born - I didn’t really know her yet. They could have just brought back any baby with a similar skin tone as me, and I’d probably have believed they were mine.”
Every time I say it, I see my MIL, FIL, and one of my SIL (BIL’s wife) go dark, but they usually stop the “you look nothing like mommy” comments. Yesterday my MIL came over on her own, and started up with the, “you look nothing like your mommy! You’re my widdle princess!” comments and I said, “I keep telling y’all, she’s probably not mine. I didn’t know her, they probably swapped her out.” My MIL snapped at me to stop saying that, and said she felt like I was insinuating the baby wasn’t my husbands or they weren’t her real family. I just shrugged and replied, “relax.... We’ve had her for 6 months already. I can’t find the receipt anymore, we’re definitely keeping her regardless.” She spent the rest of the visit pretty much sulking and ignoring me, before going home. But she wasn’t even off my driveway before calling my husband and (fake)crying to him about...

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AITA for refusing to bake the cake for my sisters friends' daughters birthday?

First, I'd like to apologize for that title and any punctuation errors that you'll probably run into. Second, my (f18) sister has a friend (f21) whose daughter is turning 4 this Saturday; let's call her friend Jenna. For some background information: Jenna and I.. we don't get along like, at all. I won't go into detail but let's just say that she was your typical mean girl in school.

Now something you should know about me is that I absolutely LOVE to bake! This includes cakes, cookies, bread, pie, you name it.

About two hours ago, Jenna was at our house talking with my sister about her daughters birthday party and how she needed a cake. While they're talking in the kitchen, there's me, in the living room minding my own business. All of a sudden, my sister calls my name and says she needed to ask me something, but of course it wasn't my sister who wanted to ask me a question, it was Jenna. She asked if I could make her daughter a birthday cake for free.

Because I have a weakness for children, I said I would be willing to do it, just not for free since I had to pay for all the ingredients myself. This made Jenna upset and ended up with her going on a tirade of how I'm apparently selfish for not doing this favor for her. I then asked why she couldn't just buy one and she said, and I quote, "it's too expensive." I then asked her how many people she was planning on having—"over 50." I ended up saying "no" altogether, called her a cheapskate, and told her she was out of her bloody mind if she thought someone would actually make a cake that large for her for free.

So, why am I posting this here? Well, it's because my mother has just offered to pay for the cake as she's one to love children as well. Even though I would technically get paid, I don't want it to come from my own mother's pocket....

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AITA for not taking hints from my SAHM friend to come help her with housework, errands, chores or volunteering to help?

My friend has an 18 month old and is a stay at home mom, living with her boyfriend, the baby daddy.

I am a single woman, living alone, no kids but a full time job.

In the past, I have helped her with errands in the snow, babysitting, cleaning and accompanying her on her errands and doctor appointments.

I have recently had my own things I’m dealing with... a little depression, soul searching, projects at home and a job change.

I took two weeks off (first break in years) between leaving my old job and starting my new one and she seems stunned that I haven’t chosen to spend any of that time at her house (I really need a break and some me time and the toddler stresses me out more often than not)

She asked a couple weeks or so ago if I’d go to the store with her because it’s easier with an extra set of hands for the toddler (I’m sure it is easier but also know parents do it all the time and it’s not impossible and she has other options) I told her I needed some time alone and wasn’t making any plans this week. She hasn’t directly asked me since but is hinting around that her back hurts and it’s hard to get anything done with a baby... she says “I know it’s hard for you too but it’s even harder for me with a baby.” I believe her! That’s why I have stayed child free on purpose, they are hard and I have enough on my plate most of the time.

Rather than taking the hints and offering to help, I suggested she ask her baby daddy/boyfriend/partner to help her with what she needs or maybe find daycare one day a week so she can rest and the baby can socialize. She rattles off an excuse about why he can’t or won’t help her and that she isn’t ready for daycare but I still didn’t offer my help.

Am I the a__hole (or terrible friend)...

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AITA for not paying for a hotel room?

My friends and I want to spend a week at a resort near the beach. My friend and her bf is bringing his buddy and I’m going alone. The plan was my friend and I share a hotel room and her bf and work buddy share another. We drove there (7h) and the buddy was flirting with me and I realized my friend and bf was trying to get us together. I was not into it he smokes and smelled of ash. We got to the hotel and my friend and bf came to me and asked if we could swap rooms so they could stay together. I was not happy since it means I would have to stay with the buddy whom I didn’t know at all. He was ok with it but I wasn’t and asked the front desk if they had an extra room. They did and it was expensive but I didn’t want to stay with a man I didn’t know anything about. The week was ok but buddy was ignoring me the whole time probably because of the hotel room stuff. We got back and then he sent me a text saying I had to pay half his hotel room because he was under the impression he only had to pay half. I told him no he got the whole hotel room and so he should have to pay for the whole hotel room. My friend called me and asked me to pay because buddy doesn’t have a job and can’t afford it. I felt betrayed since it was her and her bf who changed the plans and tried to put me in a room with a guy who I didn’t know. We argued and she hung up pi**ed.