Tawfeeq Shah

THE PEOPLE & THE NIGHTS NOBODY SAW
When I look back at my early corporate days today, one thing I feel very deeply is gratitude.
Because many people helped me during a phase where I was trying very hard not to fall behind.
I still remember Viresh teaching me VLOOKUP in Excel.
At that time, even small technical things felt overwhelming because I was constantly trying to catch up.
Then there was Mahantesh and Rakesh teaching me Excel shortcuts.
Avinash, Soumya, Indraneel, Kaushik Daa and Rajani helping me understand the methodologies we were working on.
Market research.
Data.
Reports.
Processes.
Slowly, things that once looked completely unfamiliar started becoming understandable.
And then there was my first manager, Shilbhadra.
I still remember how calmly he used to guide me.
Not only about work… but also about professionalism, responsibilities, and handling projects properly.
Honestly, those people made a huge difference in my life.
Because when someone lacks exposure and confidence, even small encouragement can become very important.
At the same time, another struggle was also going on silently.
During office hours, I was doing my work.
Trying to understand projects, processes, expectations.
But after coming back home, another shift of life would start.
Learning.
I remember many nights when I barely slept properly.
Not because managers forced me.
Not because there was extreme workload.
But because, I carried one constant fear:
“What if I fail to survive here?”
So after office hours, I again used to sit with my laptop trying to learn everything I felt I lacked.
Excel
Communication.
Research methodologies.
Corporate work culture.
And, sometimes it felt exhausting.
Because when someone is trying to grow professionally while also fighting self-doubt internally… the tiredness is not only physical.
It becomes emotional too.
But slowly, things started changing.
The same meetings that once scared me… started feeling slightly comfortable.
The same work that once confused me… slowly started making sense.
And for the first time, I started feeling that maybe I was finally finding my place in this new world.
Then one day, something happened that I still remember clearly.
I received a “Best Team Player” award.
For many people, it may have looked like a small recognition.
But for me, it meant much more.
Because the same person who once walked out of interview rooms feeling rejected and inadequate… was slowly starting to believe in himself.
A year later, I got promoted.
And around the same time, life gave me another unexpected experience.
My passport received its very first visa stamp.
The company selected me for a three-week training program in Sofia, Bulgaria.
When I first heard the news, it felt unreal.
Because a few years earlier, I was someone who had barely stepped outside Kashmir.
And now suddenly, life was preparing me for my first international journey.
I still remember holding the passport quietly for a few moments.
because, it felt like life was slowly rewarding all those difficult phases I had silently survived.
The rejection.
The sleepless nights.
The self-doubt.
The effort nobody really saw.
And, at that moment, I genuinely believed life was finally moving beautifully.
But after a few more years passed…
something inside me slowly started changing again.
And this time, the confusion was very different from the one I had faced as a fresher.

Season 2- PART 1 — THE EXPOSURE GAP
After I officially started my career at TCS in December 2014, for the first time in many months, life finally felt slightly stable.
After all the rejection, survival job, emotional breakdowns, and waiting… I genuinely felt that maybe the difficult phase of my life was finally over.
The first few months at TCS felt exciting.
New office.
New people.
Corporate environment.
Trainings.
Chai point.
For someone who had barely stepped outside Kashmir a few months earlier, everything felt new.
But slowly, reality started teaching me something important.
Getting a job and surviving professionally are two completely different things.
Academically, I was good.
I had strong understanding of statistical concepts.
But inside the corporate world, I realized very quickly that there were many things I lacked badly.
Communication.
Technical skills.
Professional confidence.
Corporate exposure.
Presentations.
Stakeholder handling.
Even simple things like writing Excel formula’s.
I still remember sitting quietly in meetings sometimes.
I used to understand the discussion… but I struggled expressing myself confidently.
And honestly, when you come from a smaller background and suddenly enter large corporate environments, a silent comparison keeps happening inside your head.
You start feeling:
“Maybe everyone else already knows much more than me.”
“Maybe I am already behind.”
But somewhere during that phase, I had made one decision inside myself.
No matter how behind I felt…
I would learn whatever was needed to survive in this world.
And, I did not survive that phase alone.
Some really good people entered my life during that time.
People who probably do not even realize today how deeply they shaped my journey.

Final Part — THE CALL THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
The unknown number I received that day was from TCS HR.
For a moment, I almost could not believe it.
The voice on the call said:
“Hi Tawfeeq, I would like to congratulate you. Your joining has been confirmed.”
Even today, after so many years, I still remember that moment clearly.
Just a few days earlier, I had returned to Kashmir feeling broken, lost, and emotionally exhausted.
And suddenly, life changed direction again through one phone call.
The HR asked if I would be able to join within the next few days.
Upon my request, they agreed to let me join on 17th December 2014.
I quickly returned home and shared the news with my family.
And then, once again, I started packing my bags for Bangalore.
But this journey felt very different from the first one.
The first time I had traveled carrying fear, confusion, and self-doubt.
This time, I still had fear…
but I also carried experience.
I now knew:
which bus to take from the airport,
how the city worked,
where to go,
and most importantly…
I no longer felt completely lost.
For the first time, I felt like maybe I truly belonged somewhere outside my comfort zone.
And finally, on 17th December 2014, I officially started my journey at TCS as a Business Analyst.
At that stage of life, one thing had slowly become very clear to me:
Life rarely moves in a straight line.
Sometimes rejection comes before opportunity.
Sometimes survival comes before growth.
Sometimes confusion comes before clarity.
And sometimes, the moments that make us feel completely lost are quietly preparing us for a new version of ourselves.
When I look back at that phase of my life today, I do not only remember the struggle.
I remember:
the people who helped me,
the seniors who guided me,
the accountant job that helped me survive,
the family that trusted me,
and the opportunities that slowly shaped my future.
Because, whatever I am today is not the result of one interview or one success.
It is the result of many difficult days where I simply decided not to give up completely.
And maybe that is what growth really looks like in real life.
Not perfection.
Just continuing to move forward, even when life feels difficult.

THE WAITING PERIOD & THE COLLAPSE
After finally getting selected at TCS, I truly believed life had finally started moving in the right direction.
For the first time in months, I felt relieved.
Excited.
Hopeful.
Deep inside, I felt that maybe all the struggles, rejection, and confusion had finally come to an end.
But sometimes, excitement can also make us impatient.
Out of happiness — and probably a little inexperience and immaturity — I made a decision too quickly.
I resigned from my accountant job.
Because in my mind, I had already entered TCS.
I thought the offer letter and joining date would arrive within days.
But days turned into weeks.
Then weeks turned into more waiting.
One week passed.
Then two.
Then, more than a month.
And still… no joining email came.
Meanwhile, I was sitting at the flat doing almost nothing.
I still remember spending hours watching Hollywood movies stored on Bilal Para’s laptop, trying to distract myself from the growing restlessness inside me.
At first, I stayed hopeful.
“It will come tomorrow.”
“Maybe the process is taking time.”
But slowly, hope started turning into anxiety again.
And now, after staying nearly six months away from my family, I suddenly found myself feeling completely directionless once again.
Around the same time, devastating floods had also affected Kashmir in late 2014.
And, all of this was starting to drain me mentally.
So eventually, I made another difficult decision.
Around 1st December 2014, I booked my flight ticket and returned to Kashmir.
While returning home, I felt broken.
Like a failure.
Because life once again felt blurry after giving me hope.
Still, deep inside, one small part of me continued believing:
“Maybe the call will still come.”
A few days later, while I was at the University of Kashmir for some documentation work, my phone rang.
An unknown number.
I picked up the call.
And within the next few seconds…
everything changed again.

Part 4- The second chance
A couple of months passed while I continued working at the accountant job in Bangalore.
Life had become slightly more stable.
But deep inside, I knew I was still searching for something bigger.
So I kept trying.
I kept applying for jobs.
Kept attending interviews.
Kept hoping that maybe one day, things would finally work out.
But interview after interview, rejection continued following me.
Sometimes I would return quietly after interviews pretending everything was okay, while internally questioning myself again and again.
There is a certain kind of loneliness that comes when you are trying very hard in life… yet nothing seems to move.
Then one day, around October 2014, my senior Bilal Para called me and said:
“TCS is conducting another recruitment drive.”
For a few seconds, I went silent.
The same place that had once shattered my confidence was standing in front of me once again.
But this time, something inside me was slightly different.
Not stronger.
Just… more prepared.
This time, I practiced everything carefully.
I rehearsed answers to questions like:
“Tell me about yourself.”
“Where do you see yourself in the next five years?”
Honestly, most of the answers were memorized.
Because this time, I felt like I could not afford to fail again.
Then the interview day arrived.
Once again, I entered the same building in Bangalore carrying hope, nervousness, and silent prayers.
Round 1 cleared.
Then Round 2.
Then Round 3.
And suddenly, I found myself reaching the final rounds.
As evening approached, the final results were about to be announced.
I still remember standing there with crossed fingers and a heartbeat that felt louder than everything around me.
Then the HR called my name.
And this time, the words were different.
“Congratulations, you have been selected.”
For a few moments, I could barely process what I had heard.
As I walked out of the building that evening, I remember looking back once at the same place from where I had once returned broken.
And quietly, inside myself, I just felt thankful.
Thankful for not giving up after rejection.
Thankful for the people who supported me.
Thankful that life had given me another chance.
At that moment, I genuinely believed the difficult phase of my life was finally over.
But life still had one more lesson waiting for me.

The next morning, 26th June 2014, life placed two choices in front of me once again.
Return to Kashmir after rejection…
or stay back in Bangalore and continue trying.
I chose to stay.
But before that, I did something I still remember very clearly.
I lied to my family.
I told them that I had already got the job at TCS and that the HR would soon inform me about the joining date.
Maybe it was wrong.
But at that moment, I simply did not have the courage to tell them that I had failed.
I also knew that if they came to know the truth, they would probably ask me to return home immediately.
And somewhere deep inside, despite the rejection, I still wanted to explore the world that had just rejected me.
The next few days were emotionally difficult.
Every morning, I would watch my seniors leave for office wearing formals, carrying laptops, and putting on their office ID cards.
And silently, I would pray for an opportunity of my own.
Looking back now, I realize how strange certain phases of life can feel.
You are educated.
You have dreams.
You are trying.
Yet internally, you still feel lost and directionless.
Then one day, around the end of June, two of my seniors Ishfaq and Showkat told me about a small opportunity nearby.
There was a factory called “Kanwal Foods and Spices,” and its owner, respected Nisar Sir, was looking for someone for an accountant position.
For the first time after my rejection, I felt a small ray of hope.
Maybe Bangalore was not done with me yet.
Without wasting time, my seniors took me there and introduced me.
The owner checked my documents and offered me the job.
It may sound like a small opportunity today.
But back then, that job gave me something priceless:
a reason to stay.
Deep inside, I knew this was probably not the final destination I had imagined for myself.
But sometimes life does not immediately give us what we dream for.
Sometimes it first gives us what we need to survive, learn, and continue moving forward.
I still remember sending my first-ever salary home during Eid 2014.
Even today, that feeling is difficult to describe in words.
A few months passed.
I continued attending interviews and trying for better opportunities.
And slowly, I had started understanding life differently.
Sometimes the smallest opportunities arrive at the exact moment we need them the most.
Little did I know…
life was preparing me for one more unexpected turn.
Optîmïstic Aarif