28/05/2024
Mudita: Happiness from that comes from seeing others happy because of something you did. This is called Mudita. 95% of your happiness comes from Mudita.
Many people dive into self-development to feel happy but still feel unhappy and empty inside. That's because they get only 5% of human happiness from self-development or self-improvement. In Yoga, this small happiness is called Tosha.
Any self-development activities like Self-care, Working out, learning new hobbies, traveling, outdoor activities, etc fall under Tosha and give only 5% happiness.
One of my fond memories from childhood is sharing everything I got as a treat with my cousin. Even if it was a 1 Rupee chocolate, I would break it into two and share a half with him. Seeing his joy made me very happy that those days were etched in my memories. Even as kids, we know that making others happy makes us happy.
As adults, we stop experiencing Mudita because we are taught to be selfish. Selfishness training starts in School when you are taught to not help your friend with notes.
But some of us still try to make our loved ones happy, like family and friends. We offer them our best advice and try to help them. We put in a lot of effort to create good experiences for them when we are around them.
Often, our attempts don't work as we hope. People don't appreciate what we offer. They reject our help and advice.
This is a common story for many married women. Their hard work at home and juggling jobs often go unnoticed. They feel unappreciated.
We usually respond to this problem by feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming others. We think others are a$$holes.
That's not true. The real problem is a lack of a good relationship frame.
A Frame answers the question, "What are we doing together in this relationship?" Without a clear Frame, there will be chaos and disrespect in a relationship. When there is not frame in a relationship, your reputation with the other person goes down.
You are not wrong in trying to make others happy, but you did it without building your reputation with them and setting the frame for that relationship.
Mudita is essential for a happy life... (Continued in comments...)
