13/11/2014
The more I learned about biology, the closer I came to believing in God. I also met a Muslim friend who was president of Students for Justice in Palestine at my university. We had a really great discussion for several hours about Palestine and Islam after class. I ended up joining the student organization shortly after that which gave me even more exposure to Muslims. I had been involved in pro-Palestine work in high school but hadn’t done much my first few years of college. At this point in my life I was devoting a substantial portion of my free time into investigating religion and started to look deeper into Islam. I had a lot of discussions with my Catholic, Muslim and Atheist friends. And I watched debates and lectures online. And then I read a translation of the meaning of the Qur’an. I had started to read a really difficult English version about a year previously, but didn’t get far at the time. This time I couldn’t put it down. I had a pdf on my phone and computer and read it between and during class, and whenever I had a minute of free time. I think I read it in about a week. Subhan’Allah. I started watching a lot of lectures on the miracles of the Qur’an, specifically the scientific miracles and the preservation of the Qur’an. I soon knew that this could only be from Allah. Alhamdulillah. I had expected to be convinced that a God of some nature existed before I found any religion that I thought contained the truth, but Islam, and the Qur’an, convinced me that there is a God. It was quite unexpected. As I was reading the Qur’an I started making dua. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just went into sujood and asked God to guide me to whatever is true. I love the hadith:
“Allah says, ‘I am as my servant expects Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he thinks of Me, I think of him. If he mentions Me in company, I mention him in an even better company. When he comes closer to Me by a handspan, I come closer to him an arm’s length. If he draws closer to Me by an arm’s length, I draw closer by a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him. If my servant comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Bukhari)
It took me a little while to take my Shahada, I wanted to learn more about Islam before I committed. I had read that it is a major sin to leave Islam after accepting it, and I didn’t want to do that. It’s odd, and I recognised it at the time, that for me to be concerned about that was a huge indicator that I did believe in Islam and the Qur’an. School ended, and I went to Africa for two months to volunteer in a hospital and then a school. One day at the hospital the doctor came to me and told me to come with him to observe a surgery. I was excited because I was considering med school at the time. We walked into a room without scrubbing up and I had no idea what to expect. Inside was a man who had cut his wrist. They were sewing it back up and he was in a lot of pain because they had given him nothing to dull it. He was writhing around and screaming and I had to leave after about 30 seconds because I felt sick. I couldn’t stand to see someone in so much pain. I was really scared that I wasn’t going to be able to be a doctor, and begged Allah for help. Later on the doctor came to us again and asked if we wanted to observe a c-section. I was scared about having to walk out again but went anyway. I made a lot of dua to Allah to grant me strength so that I could stay in and Alhamdulillah I didn’t feel the slightest bit nauseous throughout the whole procedure despite the woman being in a lot of obvious pain.
When I got back to the US I continued my research on Islam and eventually in November 2011 took my Shahada. Alhamdulillah it was the best decision of my life.
Looking back I know that I was never truly satisfied with my religious or spiritual beliefs until I accepted Islam. And I am so thankful to Allah for guiding me, Alhamdulillah.
Now Insha’Allah I want to go to the Middle East to study Islam full time, and I will be a part of ULAMAS of ISLAM......inshahallah. ......
