Aroha Nui Parenting Support

Betime can often be the hardest part of the day. With our little ones, it may be obvious to us that they are exhausted from a full day but to them, it’s time to PARTY!
As children have a rapidly developing brain, it can be hard for them to register when it is time to get that crucial shut eye. Their body may be tired but that little mind of theirs is still wired from all the learning and growing it achieved that day. With so many new and exciting thoughts running around, it is important that we try to support our little ones to understand when it is time for rest. Just like a balanced diet is important for brain development, so is getting enough hours of sleep.
Bring on the bedtime routine. Whatever the routine you set for your smallies, it is important to have a consistent, repetitive routine. Creating a relaxing routine helps children to wind down before bed and the consistent repetitive part allows the child to train their body to fall asleep on their own feeling safe and secure.
Children need between 9-13 hours sleep age dependent, so starting this routine early is important in order to get them to sleep at a reasonable time.
An example of a calm bedtime routine: After dinner, have a bath or shower before getting into pajamas. Together you can brush teeth, tuck up cosy with a book and kiss your little ones goodnight. When this happens over and over again, it programmes their little bodies into registering when it is time to rest.

When we use time out to correct negative behavior, what we are teaching our children is that their emotions and feelings are wrong, that if they don’t put a stop to them, they will be separated in a time of need.

What is really happening for children during these emotional breakdowns is their inability to communicate their emotions calmly. When we put them in time out, on the thinking chair or send them to their room, what we are really telling them is that we can't support them during their emotional crisis and that they need to regulate their emotions themselves, something that takes time and patience to learn.

So, what’s the alternative…? What children need in an emotional breakdown is support that is calm, loving and nurturing to help teach them to regulate their emotions, calm down and then express their feelings in an appropriate way. Sitting alongside your little one, giving them a cuddle if they need it or calmly telling them it is ok to feel these feelings helps our children to understand their emotions and gives them tools for the next time their feelings get strong.

Easier said than done you might think. I know it can be hard when screaming is at an all time high, toys are being thrown, you're at your breaking point and this calm and nurturing approach seems like a different world. What might be needed in moments when your stress is high and you can't give your little one what they need is a time out for parents, or chill time. Take a minute, breath deeply, have a cuppa, eat some chocolate and come back in the loving and nurturing way that I know you can.

Only you know what is best for your child so if these dreaded time outs just don’t seem to be working so well, try another method and parent from love and connection.

What is really happening for children during these emotional breakdowns is their inability to communicate their emotions calmly. When we put them in time out, on the thinking chair or send them to their room, what we are really telling them is that we can't support them during their emotional crisis and that they need to regulate their emotions themselves, something that takes time and patience to learn.

So, what’s the alternative…? What children need in an emotional breakdown is support that is calm, loving and nurturing to help teach them to regulate their emotions, calm down and then express their feelings in an appropriate way. Sitting alongside your little one, giving them a cuddle if they need it or calmly telling them it is ok to feel these feelings helps our children to understand their emotions and gives them tools for the next time their feelings get strong.

Easier said than done you might think. I know it can be hard when screaming is at an all time high, toys are being thrown, you're at your breaking point and this calm and nurturing approach seems like a different world. What might be needed in moments when your stress is high and you can't give your little one what they need is a time out for parents, or chill time. Take a minute, breath deeply, have a cuppa, eat some chocolate and come back in the loving and nurturing way that I know you can.

Only you know what is best for your child so if these dreaded time outs just don’t seem to be working so well, try another method and parent from love and connection.

Whether you are facing the first ever day of school, or return for another school year. This time can be a tough one. There are so many unknown’s for children at this time of year. Luckily, there are some tips to help the transition go a little smoother, not only for the kiddies, but for the adults too.

Creating a good routine: this is going to be a life saver in the mornings. Children thrive on a consistent and predictable routine so creating one together is important in ensuring you can get out the door on time. What is even more important though, is remembering that this is for children so incorporating lots of fun, love and laughter into the routine will ensure they are willing to do the not so fun jobs

Let your children feel worried and scared: this can be a big change for them, even if returning to the same class. Remember to acknowledge your child’s feelings, validating them. Reminding children that it is scary to do something for the first time but you know they can do it and each day it will get easier and easier.

Keep calm: I know, it’s easier said than done, but a rushed and chaotic school morning will almost guarantee a break down right before leaving those doors and there is nothing worse than being a metre from the finish line!

Be prepared: Involving children in preparing for school the night before can help them build excitement for the day but can also remove some jobs for the morning. Things like packing backpacks, picking out school clothes and deciding what they will have for lunch, all includes them in the process and helps their anxiety the day off, knowing what to expect

AND lastly, take a deep breath, and another one. it’s always hard at the beginning but you are doing a great job

Kia Ora, Welcome to Aroha Nui, a conscious parenting support service that helps families undersatnd and respond to the developmental ages and stages their precious ones are going through.

The parenting journey is such a gift and with that gift there can be so many new things happening each day that we sometimes struggle to understand and respond to. We are here to help, weather it be temper tantrums, biting, the blissful twos or fussy eaters, we have tools and stratigies to make life easier at home.

Thanks for stopping bye