Understanding & Supporting Menopause

Understanding & Supporting Menopause Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Understanding & Supporting Menopause, Education, Athens.

In this group by Dr Iya Goubareva combines modern scientific research with ancient traditional wisdom to educate, empower and support women through their menopausal transition.

My Dear Beautiful Ladies — Give Your Body a BreakIn this post, I want to make a simple call to every woman reading this:...
22/08/2026

My Dear Beautiful Ladies — Give Your Body a Break

In this post, I want to make a simple call to every woman reading this: give your body a break.

As you enter perimenopause, your body is going through a serious hormonal shift — and it doesn't just affect one thing, it touches nearly every system you have:

- Your nervous system (mood, anxiety, emotional regulation)
- Your sleep and circadian rhythm
- Your metabolism and how you process food and store fat
- Your musculoskeletal system (joints, muscle recovery, bone density)
- Your cardiovascular system
- Your cognitive function (focus, memory, mental clarity)
- Your skin and connective tissue
- Your digestive system
- Your stress response and cortisol regulation

That's not a small list. And here's the problem: many of us don't even realize we're in perimenopause when this starts. So instead of slowing down, we do the opposite — we push exercise harder, drink more coffee, cut calories, and keep pushing, expecting our body to respond the way it always has.

I did the same thing, but my story is a little more tangled than that. I was going through a real, serious grief at the time — I had lost my father. So for a long while, I believed everything I was feeling was grief, and only grief. It made sense. It fit. I had no reason to think anything else was happening underneath it.

My sleep was badly affected. I was tired constantly. I developed IBS out of nowhere. I couldn't exercise the way I used to. And I could no longer fast — I had to eat every four hours or I'd feel awful. But all of that could just as easily be grief. Grief does that to a body too. I didn't have hot flashes either, which is part of why it took me so long to even consider perimenopause — I thought that was the sign you were supposed to look for.

Then suddenly my breasts became tender and grew two sizes, seemingly overnight, and that's when it hit me: this wasn't grief anymore. That had nothing to do with losing my father, and I knew it.

And when I realized it was perimenopause, another wave of grief hit me — a different one this time. I thought, is this my new reality now? I thought I might never feel like myself again. I thought I might never be able to exercise the way I used to. I had gained weight, and it felt like life, as I knew it, was simply over — like I'd been pushed into some "old" phase of life I wasn't ready for.

Grief has its own shape, and perimenopause has its own shape, and for a long time I genuinely couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. Both were real. Neither cancelled out the other.

What actually helped was the opposite of pushing. I became still. I started listening to my body instead of fighting it, and the message was simple: relax. Give me time. Let me do what I need to do.

So I stopped resistance training, temporarily, and replaced it with tai chi and yoga. I stopped forcing myself through days with coffee and napped when I could. My brain fog and fatigue were severe enough to affect my work, so I took real time off — no TV, no reading, nothing to consume or perform. Just myself, my garden, my cats. I honored the need to eat every four hours without questioning it. In the evenings, I did small, genuine things for myself — foot massages, relaxing music, candles I used to save only for special occasions, face masks, face yoga, stillness with no stimulation at all.

And slowly, my body started to respond. I eased back into exercise, gently, on its terms rather than mine. The fog started to lift. I started to feel like a version of myself again — not the old one, but a real one.

If you're carrying grief and this transition at the same time, please know both are allowed to be true, and you don't have to untangle them alone or all at once. I was grieving, and I was changing, and my body was asking for something I hadn't learned to give it yet: rest, without needing to earn it.

Here's the thing about pushing through brain fog, stress, and poor sleep: it doesn't work. Your body performs worse the harder you push it in that state, which only stresses you out more, which makes everything worse again. It becomes a loop that feeds itself. Stillness isn't the opposite of getting things done — it's actually what breaks that loop. Your brain needs quiet to sort itself out. Solutions rarely show up while you're pushing; they show up in the stillness, once your body finally feels safe enough to stop bracing and start working things out.

If any of this sounds familiar — the exhaustion, the fog, the feeling that your body has quietly changed the rules on you — this season simply asks something different of us than the ones before it did. My gentle challenge to you this week: pick one thing to stop pushing, and one thing to actually rest. Notice what happens. And if you ever want support figuring out what your body is asking for, I'm here. 💛

💪Why Building Muscle Is Essential During PerimenopauseBuilding muscle during perimenopause isn't just about looking stro...
03/08/2026

💪Why Building Muscle Is Essential During Perimenopause

Building muscle during perimenopause isn't just about looking stronger—it's one of the best things you can do for your long-term health. As estrogen levels decline, women naturally lose muscle and bone mass while becoming more prone to insulin resistance, abdominal weight gain, and reduced mobility. Strength training, combined with adequate protein, can help counter many of these changes and improve overall well-being.

The Benefits of Building Muscle

1. Protects your bones – Resistance training strengthens bones, helping prevent osteoporosis and reducing fracture risk.

2. Improves insulin sensitivity – Muscle helps remove glucose from the bloodstream, lowering the risk of insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes.

3. Supports a healthy metabolism – Preserving muscle helps maintain your resting metabolic rate and makes weight management easier.

4. Reduces abdominal fat – Strength training helps reduce harmful visceral fat, which tends to increase during perimenopause.

5. Promotes heart health – Better blood sugar control, healthier cholesterol, and lower blood pressure all contribute to a healthier heart.

6. Supports healthy joints – Strong muscles stabilize joints, reducing strain and improving movement.

7. Maintains everyday strength – Carrying groceries, climbing stairs, lifting luggage, and getting off the floor all become easier.

8. Prevents frailty – More muscle helps maintain independence and improves recovery from illness or injury as you age.

9. Improves balance – Greater strength and coordination reduce the risk of falls and fractures.

10. Supports hormonal health – Regular resistance training can improve energy levels and help ease some menopausal symptoms.

11. Supports brain health – Strength training has been linked to better memory, cognitive function, and healthy brain aging.

12. Boosts mood and sleep – It can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression while improving sleep quality.

13. Provides a protein reserve – Muscle serves as a valuable reserve of amino acids to support healing and immune function during illness or injury.

14. Improves quality of life – Feeling stronger makes it easier to stay active, independent, and confident throughout midlife and beyond.

Don't Forget the Building Blocks: Protein

Exercise provides the stimulus for muscle growth, but protein provides the building materials. Without enough protein, your body can't efficiently repair and build muscle, no matter how hard you train.

Aim for at least 100 grams of protein per day, spread across your meals. Prioritize high-quality protein sources such as lean meat, fish, eggs, dairy, soy, legumes, and other protein-rich foods.

New to Strength Training?

It's never too late to start, and you don't have to spend hours in the gym to see results.

- Aim for 2–3 strength training sessions per week, allowing a day of recovery between sessions.
- Focus on simple, full-body exercises that work the major muscle groups, such as squats, lunges, rows, presses, and deadlifts—or their beginner-friendly variations.
- Start with body weight, resistance bands, or light dumbbells, and gradually increase the weight as you get stronger.
- Good technique is more important than lifting heavy. If possible, work with a qualified trainer for a few sessions to learn proper form.
- Consistency beats intensity. Two or three well-planned workouts every week will deliver far greater results than occasional hard workouts.

Remember, you don't have to become a bodybuilder. The goal is simply to build and maintain enough muscle to support your bones, metabolism, and overall health for decades to come.



30/07/2026

Simple WEIGHT LOSS Checklist for Perimenopausal Women

- Prioritise sleep and manage stress. This is the foundation.
Poor sleep and chronic stress increase cortisol (the stress hormone), which can make losing fat—especially around the abdomen—more difficult during perimenopause. Belly fat is particularly responsive to cortisol, so improving sleep and reducing stress should come before focusing on diet or exercise.

- Eat enough protein.
Aim for at least 100 g of protein per day. Protein helps preserve and build muscle, keeps you feeling fuller for longer, and supports a healthy metabolism.

- Reduce refined carbohydrates. Cut back on foods such as sugary drinks, sweets, pastries, white bread and other highly processed carbohydrates. Instead, choose whole grains, vegetables, fruit and other high-fibre foods.

- Create a modest calorie deficit. You don't need to starve yourself, but consistently eating slightly fewer calories than you burn is essential for fat loss.

- Do not eat late at night. Finish your last meal 3–4 hours before bedtime. This will improve your sleep and promote weight loss.

- Try intermittent fasting. Start with a 12-hour overnight fast, which is often easy to achieve while sleeping. As your body adapts, gradually increase your fasting window to 14, 16 or even 18 hours, depending on what feels sustainable for you.

- Stay hydrated. Drink at least 2 litres of water per day. Thirst is often mistaken for hunger, so staying well hydrated may help reduce unnecessary snacking and support weight loss.

- Exercise regularly.

- Cardio burns calories and improves heart health.
- Strength training is essential because muscle tissue burns more energy than fat tissue, even at rest. As we age—and especially during perimenopause—we naturally lose muscle unless we actively maintain it. Building and preserving muscle helps keep your metabolism higher, improves strength and mobility, supports bone health, and makes it easier to maintain a healthy weight long term.

Remember: Consistency is the key to long-term weight loss and lasting results. 💪❤️


30/07/2026

Finally, more women are talking about perimenopause. When it hit me, I had no idea what was going on. My sleep was badly affected, my digestive system was all over the place, I was exhausted, my body was refusing exercise, and I felt like I had early-onset Alzheimer's. Then my breasts suddenly grew seemingly overnight, and that's when I understood this was a hormonal shift. Looking back now, I think it actually started a year earlier.
Even being in the medical profession, I thought I'd get some hot flashes, maybe some mood swings, and my period would stop. I had no idea how drastically this could impact my life. I think that's because menopause has long been a taboo subject — women were labeled as "old," so we didn't talk about it, and there simply wasn't enough research into women's health. We were studied as if our biology were the same as men's, when it's completely different.
So, my dear ladies, let's start talking about this and sharing our experiences with each other, along with practical advice.



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Why You're Suddenly Puffy in Perimenopause (And What Actually Helps)If you've noticed your face looks swollen some morni...
29/07/2026

Why You're Suddenly Puffy in Perimenopause (And What Actually Helps)

If you've noticed your face looks swollen some mornings, your rings don't fit, or your weight jumps a few kilos overnight for no reason — you're not imagining it, and you haven't suddenly "gained fat." It's fluid, and it's driven by hormones.

As oestrogen and progesterone start fluctuating unpredictably in perimenopause, your body becomes far more sensitive to things it used to handle just fine — salt, poor sleep, stress, alcohol, certain foods. The trigger isn't new. Your tolerance for it has simply dropped.

The good news: you don't need to fix everything at once. A few consistent habits make the biggest difference.

What actually helps:

🛌 Focus on sleep quality, not just hours or timing.
It's not about going to bed at a certain time — you can be in bed by 9pm and still toss and turn all night. Deep, uninterrupted sleep is what regulates the hormones behind fluid retention. (I've written a full post on improving sleep quality — worth a read if this is a big factor for you.)

🥗 Pay attention to diet, not just salt.
Salt matters, but so do foods that trigger inflammation or sensitivity in your own body — dairy is a common one for many women, along with refined carbs and sugar, especially in the evening. You don't need to overhaul everything; just start noticing which foods leave you puffier the next day.

🚶 Move your body daily.
Your lymphatic system has no pump of its own — it relies on movement to circulate fluid. Walking, stretching, jumping or shaking your body, lymphatic self-massage and even deep breathing are all genuinely effective ways to help drain excess fluid.

☕🍺 Notice your own response to coffee and alcohol.
Both affect cortisol, sleep, and hydration differently from person to person. Coffee is technically a mild diuretic, but for some women it raises stress hormones enough to cause next-day puffiness instead. 🍷Alcohol's main issue is usually the rebound — disrupted sleep and inflammation the next day. Track your own pattern rather than assuming either is automatically "bad."

🧘 Lower your stress load where you can.
Chronic stress keeps cortisol elevated, and that alone drives fluid retention. Even short daily downtime — a walk, a few quiet minutes, journaling — helps regulate this over time.

⏳ Give it weeks, not days.
If you cut out one thing for two days and expect the swelling to vanish, you'll be disappointed. Your body needs consistency over several weeks to reset — sleep, movement, stress, and food all matter together, not any single "fix."

When to see a doctor:

Most of this is normal hormonal fluctuation. But get checked if swelling is severe, one-sided, or comes with shortness of breath, chest pain, or rapid weight gain over a few days — and it's worth ruling out thyroid issues too, since they become more common in midlife.

Start here: you don't need to tackle all of this at once.
Pick just one area this week — sleep, movement, or one food you suspect is triggering you — and give it real attention before adding anything else. Small, consistent changes will tell you more about your own body than any list ever will.

The bottom line: your body is changing, but these changes aren't something you have to just live with. Your hormones are shifting, and that means your habits need to shift with them too — you just need to accommodate to this transition. Pay attention to how your body responds to small changes, and remember: you're not alone in this. 💛


23/07/2026

🫨😢😡🤯The Emotional Symptoms of Perimenopause

Take a few minutes to read this—you deserve this information.

Having covered the vasomotor symptoms, it's time to move on to what I consider one of the most important aspects of perimenopause: the emotional symptoms.

For many women, these are the symptoms that have the greatest impact on everyday life. Anxiety, irritability, low mood, loss of motivation and feeling overwhelmed can affect relationships, work and self-confidence. Many women say, "I just don't feel like myself anymore."

The first thing I want you to know is this: these changes are real, they have a biological basis, and they're a normal part of the hormonal changes taking place during perimenopause.

Most people think of estrogen as a reproductive hormone, but it does far more than regulate the menstrual cycle. It also plays an important role in helping the brain function smoothly. Think of estrogen as the conductor of an orchestra. When the conductor steps away, the musicians can still play, but they're no longer perfectly in sync. During perimenopause, as estrogen levels fluctuate, the brain has to constantly readjust. That's why emotions can suddenly feel more intense, stress becomes harder to manage, and you may not feel quite like yourself.

The good news is that we now understand much more about why this happens than we did even 20 years ago. More importantly, there are many evidence-based ways to support your brain during this transition.

1. Anxiety, Feeling Overwhelmed & Panic Attacks

What's actually happening?

Your brain has a built-in stress response system, and estrogen helps keep it balanced.

As estrogen begins to fluctuate, that system becomes more sensitive. Think of it like a smoke alarm that's become overly sensitive—it still works exactly as it should, but now it goes off when you're only making toast.

That's why situations you once handled with ease may suddenly feel overwhelming. Your heart may race more easily, your mind may jump to worst-case scenarios, and it can become much harder to switch off and relax.

For some women this shows up as constant worrying, for others as panic attacks, and for many it's simply the feeling of being overwhelmed by everyday life.

2. Irritability, Anger & Rage

What's actually happening?

Many women notice they have much less patience than they used to. They snap more easily, become frustrated over small things or react more strongly than they normally would.

This happens because estrogen also helps regulate the part of the brain responsible for emotional control. During perimenopause, those control systems become less efficient, while the brain's emotional centre becomes more reactive.

Imagine driving a car where the accelerator has become more sensitive and the brakes aren't quite as responsive. You'll still reach your destination, but it takes much more effort to stay in control.

3. Low Mood, Depression & Crying More Easily

What's actually happening?

Estrogen supports several of the brain's systems that help regulate mood.

As hormone levels fluctuate, these systems don't communicate as efficiently. Some women find themselves crying much more easily, others lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, while some develop symptoms of depression.

It's important to remember that feeling low from time to time is different from clinical depression. If low mood is persistent, affects your daily life or is accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, it's important to seek professional help.

4. Loss of Motivation, Confidence & Enjoyment

What's actually happening?

Many women say,

"I know exactly what I need to do... I just can't seem to get started."

This is another common effect of fluctuating hormones.

Estrogen helps support the brain's motivation and reward system. During perimenopause, everyday tasks can require more mental effort, and activities that once felt enjoyable may not bring the same sense of satisfaction.

That doesn't mean you've suddenly become lazy or lost your ambition. Your brain is adapting to a different hormonal environment.

**Treatment Approaches**

Because every woman's experience is different, treatment should always be tailored to your individual symptoms and needs.

Lifestyle

Looking after your overall health won't stop the hormonal changes of perimenopause, but it can help reduce the intensity of symptoms and support your brain through this transition.

- Exercise most days of the week. A combination of walking or other aerobic exercise with strength training provides the greatest benefits.
- Eat a balanced diet rich in colourful vegetables, fruit, whole grains, beans, lentils, nuts and seeds.
- Choose healthy fats, including oily fish such as salmon, sardines, mackerel and trout, as well as nuts, seeds, avocados and extra virgin olive oil in salads. These foods provide healthy fats that support brain health.
- Eat enough protein throughout the day to help maintain energy and muscle health.
- Limit highly processed foods, excess sugar and alcohol, which may worsen mood, sleep and energy levels.
- Aim for 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night.
- Spend time outdoors every day, especially in the morning, to help regulate your body clock and support mood.
- Stay connected with family and friends and make time for activities that bring you joy.

Complementary approaches

Some women also find benefit from complementary therapies, particularly when used alongside healthy lifestyle habits and medical treatment where needed.

These may include:

- Yoga, mindfulness and meditation.

- Breathing exercises.

- Acupuncture, which some studies suggest may help with anxiety, sleep disturbances and hot flashes.

- Massage or gentle self-massage to ease muscle tension and promote relaxation.

- Herbal infusions such as chamomile, lemon balm or passionflower, which some women find calming. Remember that herbal products can interact with medications, so always discuss regular use with your healthcare professional.

- Spending time in nature.

- Spending time with pets, which has been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional wellbeing for many people.

**Medical treatments**

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is often the first treatment considered when emotional symptoms occur alongside other symptoms of perimenopause, such as hot flashes, night sweats or disturbed sleep. By replacing the hormones that are declining, HRT can help stabilise mood and reduce anxiety for many women.

If HRT isn't suitable, or if anxiety or depression are more severe, your doctor may recommend antidepressant medications such as Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) and Serotonin-Noradrenaline Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs).

These medications help improve communication between brain cells involved in regulating mood and anxiety. Some can also reduce hot flashes.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a structured form of talking therapy that helps you recognise unhelpful thought patterns and develop practical strategies to manage anxiety, stress and low mood. It is particularly effective for anxiety and can be used on its own or alongside HRT or medication.

Everything is connected. That's why the most effective approach is to support your body as a whole rather than trying to treat one symptom at a time.

Poor sleep can increase anxiety.

Anxiety can make you more irritable.

Low mood can reduce motivation.

Hot flashes can disturb sleep, making everything else feel more difficult.

Every woman's journey is different, and there is no right or wrong way to experience perimenopause. The more you understand your body, the better you can support it through this transition.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your body, and your body will often return that kindness. It's working hard to adapt during this transition, so nourish it, support it and give it the patience it deserves. 💛

Let's Talk About LibidoYou Are Not Broken 💛I have seen many women worrying about loss of libido and what to do about it ...
13/07/2026

Let's Talk About Libido

You Are Not Broken 💛

I have seen many women worrying about loss of libido and what to do about it — and the first thing I want to say is this: you are not broken, you are not alone, and this is not something you simply have to accept.

Menopause changes your hormones, your sleep, your mood, and your body's physical response to intimacy. All of that affects desire. This is biology, not a personal failing. And unlike what our mothers' generation were told, there are real options available today.

Where to Start

The first thing I'd say is to address anything physical that's getting in the way. Vaginal dryness or pain during s*x is incredibly common at this stage of life, and it is very treatable. Moisturisers, lubricants, and vaginal oestrogen can make an enormous difference and are safe for most women. If s*x is uncomfortable, desire doesn't stand much of a chance — so this matters.

Sleep is the next thing I'd look at. Poor sleep tanks libido faster than almost anything else. If night sweats or insomnia are part of your menopause experience, treating those is treating your libido too. They are not separate issues.

Something else worth knowing: for many women after menopause, desire follows arousal rather than leading it. This is a shift that catches a lot of women off guard. It doesn't mean something is wrong — it means the approach might need to change. Starting with touch, closeness, or massage without any particular destination in mind can allow desire to show up in its own time, without pressure.

Moving your body regularly helps too — not because exercise is a cure for everything, but because it genuinely supports blood flow, mood, and energy, all of which matter here. And if you have a partner, this is a conversation worth having. What worked for your body ten years ago may not be what works now, and that's normal. It's not something to hide or work around quietly.

Be Kind to Yourself

There is something else I have noticed that doesn't get talked about enough. During this stage of life, many women don't feel attractive. They've gained weight, they feel suddenly older, and sometimes it can feel as though life as they knew it is over.
Because the truth is, many women at this stage are grieving. Grieving the woman they were. Grieving the woman they thought they might become. Grieving their youth, their fertility, a version of themselves they feel they can no longer find in the mirror. That grief is real, it is valid, and it deserves to be acknowledged — not rushed past or dismissed with a supplement recommendation.

When you are carrying all of that, desire is probably the last thing your body is going to reach for — and that makes complete sense.

So before anything else, be kind to yourself. You are beautiful, no matter what you are going through right now. Do something nice for yourself. Light a candle, run a bath, put on an oil that smells divine and take your time massaging it into your skin. Remind yourself that you are here, you are in this body, and it deserves your attention and your tenderness. Connect with yourself, with your body — and your body will connect with you.

What Medicine Can Offer

Many GPs are simply not trained on the medications that exist for this. Female s*xual dysfunction has been under-researched and under-taught in medical schools for a long time — certainly compared to erectile dysfunction, which has had no shortage of attention or funding. So don't be surprised if your doctor doesn't raise these options. You may need to raise them yourself, or seek out a menopause-specialist doctor who works in this area regularly.

There are several medications worth knowing about before you walk into that appointment:

- Flibanserin (Addyi) — a daily pill specifically for low s*xual desire

- Bremelanotide (Vyleesi) — an injectable taken as needed before s*x

- Testosterone therapy — not officially approved for this purpose in many countries, but widely prescribed by menopause specialists and with solid evidence behind it for supporting desire

- Ospemifene (Osphena) — an oral option for women experiencing pain during s*x due to changes in vaginal tissue

- DHEA (Prasterone/Intrarosa) — a vaginal insert that supports tissue health and, for some women, desire itself

None of this is medical advice — it's a starting point so you can walk into your next appointment informed, and ask specific questions instead of leaving with a shrug and nothing else.

You deserve a full, satisfying life — including this part of it. Don't let anyone tell you this is just menopause, as if that's a reason to stop expecting more.
💛

The Grief That You Experience During Menopause 💛When we think of grief, we usually think of the loss of someone we love....
10/07/2026

The Grief That You Experience During Menopause 💛

When we think of grief, we usually think of the loss of someone we love.

But grief is much more than bereavement. Grief is a natural response to any significant loss, and for many women, the menopause transition brings a series of losses that often go unrecognised.

These losses are invisible to others, which makes them even harder to acknowledge. You may find yourself wondering why you're so emotional, why you feel unlike yourself, or why you're mourning a life that hasn't actually ended.

The truth is, you may be grieving.

During the menopause transition, many women grieve the loss of:

- Your younger body.
- Your physical strength, stamina and athletic ability.
- Your confidence.
- Your mental clarity and memory.
- Your fertility or reproductive years.
- The freedom to do the things that once came easily.
- The confidence you had in your own body.
- Your sense of identity.
- The future you imagined for yourself.
- The woman you once knew yourself to be.

At the very same time, grief and perimenopause share many of the same symptoms, making it incredibly difficult to recognise what's happening.

You may experience:

- Poor sleep or insomnia.
- Exhaustion and overwhelming fatigue.
- Brain fog and difficulty concentrating.
- Memory problems.
- Anxiety and excessive worrying.
- Low mood or frequent crying.
- Changes in appetite.
- Digestive problems.
- Social withdrawal.
- Feeling emotionally numb.
- A loss of motivation.
- Feeling disconnected from yourself.
- Feeling like you no longer recognise the person looking back at you in the mirror.

It's no wonder so many women feel confused, frightened and alone.

The important thing to understand is that your body isn't working against you. It's asking for support.

For years, many of us have been taught to push through. Work harder. Exercise harder. Keep going.

But perimenopause isn't a season where pushing harder usually works.

It's a season where your body is asking you to listen.

1. Acknowledge your grief

The first step in any grieving process is recognising that a loss has occurred.

Many women never allow themselves to do this because they tell themselves:

"Nobody has died."

"I shouldn't feel this way."

"Other women cope better than I do."

But grief isn't measured by whether someone has died. It's measured by whether something meaningful has been lost.

Perhaps you've lost the body you once trusted.

Perhaps you've lost the energy that allowed you to run, travel, work long hours or exercise without thinking about it.

Perhaps you've lost the confidence that came from feeling capable every day.

Give yourself permission to simply say:

"I am grieving."

Naming grief doesn't make it bigger.

It makes it visible.

And once something is acknowledged, it can begin to heal.

2. Honour the woman you've been

Many women spend this stage of life comparing themselves to who they were ten or twenty years ago.

Instead of comparing, try honouring her.

She carried you through decades of life.

She may have built a career.

Raised children.

Loved deeply.

Travelled.

Achieved goals.

Survived heartbreak.

Look after everyone else.

Your younger self isn't your competition.

She's part of your story.

Rather than asking,

"Why can't I be her again?"

Try asking,

"What did she teach me that I can carry into this next chapter?"

Grief becomes gentler when gratitude sits alongside it.

3. Give your grief somewhere to go

Grief has a way of staying trapped when we never express it.

One of the simplest ways to begin processing it is through writing.

Try writing a letter to your younger self.

Tell her what you miss.

Tell her what you're angry about.

Tell her what you're afraid you've lost.

Thank her for everything she gave you.

Then write another letter back—as if she were writing to you.

What would she say?

Would she judge you?

Or would she remind you how resilient you've always been?

Sometimes the compassion we're searching for is the compassion we'd freely give ourselves if we looked through kinder eyes.

4. Create a ritual to mark this transition

Throughout history, cultures have used rituals to mark life's major transitions.

Birth.

Marriage.

Death.

Yet menopause often arrives with no acknowledgement at all.

Consider creating your own ritual.

Plant something in your garden.

Light a candle.

Walk somewhere meaningful.

Buy yourself a piece of jewellery to mark this new chapter.

Write down everything you're ready to leave behind and safely burn the paper.

Rituals don't erase grief.

They give it somewhere to rest.

They tell your mind and body,

"I recognise that something important has changed."

5. Calm your nervous system

This may be one of the most important things you can do.

Your body is already adapting to enormous hormonal changes.

If your nervous system is constantly in a state of stress, your symptoms can feel even more overwhelming.

Supporting yourself doesn't always mean doing more.

Sometimes it means doing less.

Spend time in nature.

Sit quietly with yourself.

Watch the birds.

Stroke your dog or cat.

Practise slow breathing.

Meditate.

Listen to calming music.

Reduce unnecessary stimulation.

Give yourself moments where your body doesn't have to be "on."

Stillness is not laziness.

Rest is not weakness.

Your nervous system needs moments of safety in order to recover.

6. Protect your sleep

Sleep isn't a luxury during menopause.

It's one of your most powerful healing tools.

While you sleep, your brain processes emotions, regulates stress hormones, consolidates memories and supports physical recovery.

If sleep has become difficult, don't think of it as something you'll deal with later.

Make it a priority.

Say no to late-night commitments if you need to.

Create a calming evening routine.

Reduce stimulation before bed.

Treat sleep as part of your healthcare.

7. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion

Many women spend years telling themselves:

"I'm lazy."

"I'm falling apart."

"What's wrong with me?"

You would never speak this way to a friend who was grieving.

So why speak this way to yourself?

Instead, ask:

"What does my body need today?"

Perhaps the answer is movement.

Perhaps it's rest.

Perhaps it's connection.

Perhaps it's simply permission to stop feeling guilty.

Compassion isn't giving up.

It's creating the conditions your body needs to heal.

8. Stop trying to become the old you

This may be the hardest lesson of all.

Grief isn't about returning to the person you were before the loss.

It's about learning how to carry that loss while continuing to live.

Perhaps menopause is the same.

Instead of fighting every day to become the woman you were at thirty-five, allow yourself to become curious about the woman you're becoming.

She may move differently.

She may have different priorities.

She may protect her peace more fiercely.

She may have deeper wisdom.

She may be stronger in ways she has never needed to be before.

That doesn't mean accepting unnecessary suffering.

It means recognising that this transition isn't just about hormones.

It's about identity.

And identity can evolve without losing its worth.

If you're reading this and recognising yourself in these words, I want you to know something.

You are not weak.

You are not failing.

You are not "just getting older."

You may be navigating one of the greatest physical, emotional and psychological transitions of your life.

Treat yourself with the same kindness, patience and compassion you would offer anyone else who was grieving.

Because perhaps that's exactly what you're doing.

And grief, when acknowledged and supported, has a remarkable way of slowly making space for hope. 💛











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