Uzuogu C. Francis

THE NEXUS BETWEEN LIFE AND HOPE

I can't forget Jamilu Ibrahim Mukhtar, a Muslim friend of mine during my NYSC in Dutse, Jigawa State. He is tolerant, highly educated and humble. Whenever he speaks, i listen because i am sure to learn one new thing. From his mouth, i heard so many new words I never knew exist - one of them is NEXUS.

Nexus is from a Latin word "nectere" meaning 'to bind, to tie together, to link, to connect.' Merriam-Webster defines nexus as a relationship or connection between people or things.

In this short write up, we will discover the nexus between life and hope. Let's go!

Life is so precious, everyone cherish it and do everything to have and to maintain it. However, there is something more valuable than life and that is hope.

People say, "as long as there is life, there is hope." This may be true on its facial reading but on a deeper consideration, the reverse is the case. "As long as there is hope, there is life."

Yes, hope is the heart of life. Hope gives birth to life, injects living into life, revivifies life, sustains life, and keeps life alive. Hope makes living possible. In fact, hope incubates life.

People commit su***de when hope is gone, live recklessly when hope is lost, and wander aimlessly when hope dissipates.

Without life, you're gone but without hope, you're lost. When you inject hope into your life, there's nothing you can't cope.

The nexus between life and hope is Jesus - our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from stormy blasts, and our eternal home.

[See Pro 23:18; Lam 3:24; 2 Cor 3:22; 1 Pet 1:3; John 14:6].

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l.

ENVY AND JEALOUSY ARE REAL; SHINE YOUR EYES
[It comes from within; from those who know you well]

Envy and jealousy are identical twin words. One can comfortably replace the other in a sentence and the meaning remains the same. Ask any English dictionary. They call it synonyms. I won't define envy and jealousy. I will dwell on the connotative meaning. If you wish to know their denotative meaning, consult any English dictionary.

Envy and jealousy speak. If you listen to them, you end up in more trouble. They say "don't" when they know when you do you succeed. They say "do" when they know when you do you fail.

Envy and jealousy want you to fail, to cry, to give up, and to keep begging. If envy and jealousy notice you are rising, they do everything to pull you down.

Envy and jealousy want your business to fail, your marriage to crumble, your relationship to fumble, your family to remain in trouble.

Envy and jealousy will fabricate all manner of lies to incite people to hate you. Envy and jealousy will pretend they are for you while they are against you. Envy and jealousy will laugh with you and still laugh at you.

Envy and jealousy once they set in, they never leave until they achieve their aim; to wreck havoc and leave you in shock. When envy and jealousy set in, best friend can do the worst thing.

Cain murdered Abel, ENVY. Joseph was sold into slavery, JEALOUSY. Envy and jealousy, the two silent and subtle killers. Notice the common factor in the two biblical accounts - brotherhood which indicates closeness and oneness. Oftentimes those who jealous and envy you are those who are one with you.

One thing about envy and jealousy is that it comes from within - from those close to you, those who know you very well.

Envy and jealousy are chameleon, they are everywhere, even present in top echelon. You can find them in church, in school, in the office, in families, anywhere and everywhere there are humans.

Causes of envy and jealousy are perceived competence, excellence, victory, success, and breakthrough in any endeavor.

Jealousy and envy left uncontrolled develop into hatred and hatred metamorphoses into bitterness and when bitterness ripes, it results to killing. Ask Mr. Cain Adam, the first man who killed on earth. He will explain this theory better.

If animals that weren't created in God's image don't envy and jealous each other, shame on us human beings created in God's own image. We are disgrace to the image of God in us and total embarrassment to redemption.

May God have mercy on us.

SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES

"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones" (Pro. 14:30 NIV).

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud" (1 Cor. 13:4).

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Eph 4:31 NIV).

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra.

IF NOT NOW, WHEN? IF NOT HERE, WHERE? IF NOT YOU, WHO?

I remember one weird hen in our compound at the village named Kuku. We named it after the sound it often makes when laying eggs. Though Kuku wasn't friendly, everyone loved her because she never left any of her eggs unhatched.

However, there was another hen (I will call it Okuko-iberibe) who lays eggs often but hardly hatch any. Sometimes, it lays eggs, incubates them a little, and never comes back until the eggs are rotten.

Kuku filled our compound with chicks and therefore survived Yuletide seasons many times for killing it would mean a great loss to us. We never gave it a second thought to feast with Okuko-iberibe.

Kuku was valued and treasured by many because she often laid eggs (dream) and hatched (do) them unlike Okuko-iberibe.

Like Okuko-iberibe, some dream (lay eggs) but never do their dream (hatch them). Doing your dream adds value to your life, expands your horizon, and unleashes your potentials. With or without people's validation, your dream is valid. Go for it!

Dream is useless if not worked on. Dream causes psychological, sometimes financial waste if not acted on.

He who dreams with his eyes open, his head and hand at work is on the pathway to success. But he who dreams with eyes closed, hands and head hibernating will narrate the success story of the other when awake.

Dream is not what you see at sleep but what you see that keeps you from sleeping; what you envisage that keeps you from slumber. An ideal dream makes you sleep less yet doesn't encourage sleeplessness.

To dream is to picture a future and nurture a structure to capture the future.

Be like Kuku, dream and translate your dreams into tangible reality. Don't wait to have it all before you start. Begin with what you have, the way you can, and with time, you'll get there. Climbing the top begins at the bottom. To be strong at the highest phase, begin from the base. You can't become if you don't begin and the best time to begin is now.

If not now, when? If not here, where? If not you, who?

Don't just lay eggs, hatch them!

[Adapted from Uzuogu C. Francis, DISCOVER TO RECOVER, p. 100].

? ? ?

IT WILL SHOW
[Good performance, good result]

My department at Babcock University has good lecturers that will take a lifetime to forget. One of them is Pastor (Dr.) Silvanus Chioma. He taught us Youth Ministry and Leadership. He was immortalized even when he's still alive. A lecture hall was named after him, "Silvanus Chioma Lecture Theatre." He popularized a clause at Babcock and beyond. The clause is, "IT WILL SHOW." It means that you don't need to worry yourself unnecessarily when it comes to result in any endeavor. If you performed well, it will show.

In the same vein, the true fact about pregnancy is that it can't be hidden for so long. It will show.

In leadership as well as in any endeavor where result speaks, you don't need to talk plenty, it will show.

As a husband or wife, if you are good to your spouse, it will show.

As an employer or employee, if you are good to people you work with, it will show.

As a teacher or an instructor, if you are good to your students, it will show.

As a student, if you are good in class, it will show.

As a businessman or woman, if you are nice to your customers, it will show.

As a servant, if you are good to your master, it will show.

As a master, if you are good to your servant, it will show.

As a worker, if you are good to your coworkers, it will show.

As the president of a country, if you are good to your people, if you have initiated projects, good economic and educational policies and programs affecting people's lives positively, it will show.

If you are a governor, and all you do is embezzle money meant for the development or misappropriate fund and leaves your state like Abia State in Nigeria, it will show.

If you are a senator or member of parliament and all you do is sleep during plenary, collect the allocation meant for the people you represent and blow it on frivolities and personal jamboree and razzmatazz, it will show.

If you are the chairman of a local government and all you do is give cash and car gifts to people who should demand accountability from you so that they will keep quiet, it will show.

As a matter of fact, too much campaign is not necessarily where the leader has performed meritoriously. Even the blind can see the good works of a good leader. Even the dumb can sing their praises.

In a situation where a leader engages in extravagant campaign packaged to appeal to the emotions of the electorate without any tangible works to commensurate the talk, it is a sign that the leader failed woefully. His administration is a debacle and a collosal fiasco.

I don't need to tell you that I have impregnated my wife, you don't need to tell us how you take good care of your family, he or she doesn't need to tell you how much he or she loves you, you don't need to tell me how much you love God, IT WILL SHOW.

Good performance does not attract bad result. It is against the laws of nature.

Feel free to share.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l.

WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL LOVED
[Loving through loving words]
COUPLE'S CORNER #43

The most powerful force in the whole world is not gr***de, neither is it missile.

The most powerful force in the whole world is word. Words create. Words are potent. If you know what to say, when to say it and how to say it, you have a great deal of what it takes to keep your relationship vibrant.

Some lack what to say. Some know what to say but don't know how best to say it.

The truth is you don't need a PhD in communication to be able to communicate love to your spouse. Here are tips on how to communicate love to your spouse:

What to Say to Make a Woman Feel Loved

Feeling loved is therapeutic; it makes you forget your pain. Feeling loved brings out the positive power in you, projects the glow in you, enhances your outlook, and increases your output.

Women like verbal in*******se just like men like sexual in*******se. Men are turned-on but women are talked-on. Men need their eyes to be aroused but women need their ears to be aroused. Men are moved by what they see but women are moved by what they hear.

Women wish men know how to say what they want to hear. This is one of the key things that makes you romantic as a man. Your six packs and handsomeness can not take you where mastering handsome-romantic-reassuring words can take you.

Mastering what to say, how and when to say it gives you the leverage to be the master of the woman in your life.

CAUTION: If you say the following just for saying sake, you lose your respect and credibility. Be mindful.

WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN FEEL LOVED

"I love you."
"I need you."
"I feel so lucky to be with you."
"You're my best friend."
"You're the only woman in the world for me."
"There is no one like you."
"I don't know what I will do without you."
"I can't imagine my life without you."
"You are the answer to my prayers."

WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE HER FEEL APPRECIATED

"You're so good for me."
"You make me so happy."
"I appreciate every little thing you do me."
"I love it when you smile."
"You make such a difference in my life."
"Thank you for being there for me."

WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE HER FEEL VALUED

"How was your day?"
"Let discuss this and make a decision together."
"Let's plan how to raise our children."
"What do you think about my new job?
"Can I help you with anything?"
"What do you need from me?"

WHAT TO SAY TO OPEN HER HEART ♥

"I am sorry if I don't always give you what you need."
"I am sorry about how I talked to you last night."
"I promise to work harder to spend more time with you."
"Thank you for putting up with me."
"Thank you for being patient with me."
"I know I am not always easy to get along with."
"Please forgive me for raising my voice."

WHAT TO SAY TO KEEP LOVE & S*X ALIVE

"I am really attracted to you."
"I want you."
"Your body is perfect for me."
"I want to make love to you later."
"I can't keep my eyes off you."
"Let's spend more time together."
"I miss you."
"How can I love you more?"
"Let's just cuddle."

WHAT TO SAY TO BLOW HER MIND

"Let's go shopping."
"Let me clean the house for you."
"Let me cook your favorite meal for you."
"Rest, let me take care of the baby."
"Wasn't there something you wanted to discuss with me?"
"Let's turn the TV off and just talk."
"My team is playing but I won't watch. I just want to be with you."

You don't need a PhD in psychology, communication or logic to experience the magic of loving words.

Don't just say it, mean it. Positive words are important. No doubt. However, love is best communicated through service.

The common practice among men is saying those things when the lady is still 'girlfriend' and stopping as soon as her status changes to 'wife.'

If you want to enjoy your marriage "forever," remember this I am about to say - "Just as 'I DO' is present continuous, dating your spouse is present continuous." Everyday is dating day.

Text: "I am not good at sweet words." "I say these things and nothing changes."

Text: "Pleasant words are honey from a honeycomb - sweet to the soul and healing for the body" (Proverbs 16:24 ISV).

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra

MANAGING DAMAGING WORDS
[How to use and control words]

The world is controlled by words. The world is a product of words. You need to understand how to use and control words or your life will be miserable.

Learn to speak:

Loving words
Creative words
Productive words
Empowering words
Confrontational words
Purposedriven words
Faith-building words
Motivational words
Inspirational words
Reassuring words
Glorifying words
Forgiving words
Winning words
Praising words
Uniting words

Learn to manage:

Insulting words
Demeaning words
Confidence-breaking words
Image damaging words
Heartbreaking words
Faith-sapping words
Hurtful words

ESSENTIAL FACTS TO NOTE

Words are sacred especially a promise. Before you make a promise, be absolutely sure of its fulfillment. However, if for any reason you won't be able to keep your promise, be wise enough to let the one you made the promise to know the reason you won't be able to keep it. It is more honorable.

You need words to succeed. Words can also make you fail. You must learn and master how to speak positive words and handle negative words.

HOW TO CONTROL WORDS
1. Speak less.
2. Don't speak when you are angry.
3. As much as you can, don't commit hurtful words to memory.
4. Fill your mind with faith building words.
5. Be absolutely sure before you speak.
6. Before you speak, think about the impact of your words on your listener.
7. Live in an ambience of positive words and leave an atmosphere of negative words.

You need words to discover, unleash, and maximise your potentials to the fullest. Know what to say, how to say it and when to say it.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra.

"The crowd He healed their sick, raised their dead, opened the eyes of their blind, cleansed their lepper, quenched their thirst, fed their hungry, and forgave their sins, were the same crowd that shouted crucify Him. It doesn't matter what you do for people, if they hate you, when they see opportunity to crucify you, they will crucify you." - Uzuogu C. Francis, Discover To Recover.

ROYALTY AND LOYALTY
[Rare blend in one]

Royalty and loyalty are two combinations often rare among mortals. However one man broke the protocol. Despite being 100% royal, he was 100% loyal. His name is Jesus Christ, the exalted royal who left his exalted throne in heaven and surrendered his divinity and took up humanity.

His humility was topnotch.

He mingled with the outcasts, the socially disadvantaged, the downtrodden, the rejected, the lowliest of the low despite being higher than the highest.

He stooped so low to wash his disciples feet - an act which defies human culture. The king serving his servants. No one, absolutely none like Jesus.

Royalty and loyalty are rare blend in one. No wonder Jesus has no replacement.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra.

LOVE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING
[Engine without radiator]

Love without understanding is like an engine without radiator. Unnecessary overheat in the union. Nothing calms down the nerves. Nothing cools the temper. No compromise. Scuffle, bickering, tantrum, and barrel of quarrel.

When love tank runs dry, understanding keeps the relationship going until the tank is gradually refilled.

Understanding looks beyond action and sees intention behind action. Understanding doesn't concentrate so much on what happened but on why it happened and how to process it for good.

Love makes you look into the matter critically and understanding makes you overlook the matter virtually.

The significance of understanding in marriage relationship can never be overemphasized.

Relationships often hit the rock because so much emphasis was placed on love instead of understanding.

Don't just love your partner, understand your partner.

If you want your relationship to keep growing, glowing, and radiating like my portable beautiful wife, hahahahahaha, add doses of understanding in your love life. Radiate your love, understand your partner.

The word 'stand' sits comfortably in the word 'underSTANDing.' If you want your relationship to STAND strong, don't just love your partner, understand him or her.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra.

MARRIAGE IS TEAM WORK

In football, sometimes the Goal Keeper who ought to be at the post comes out to attack when need arises. Even the Striker who ought to be forward comes back to assist the Defenders when the need arises. That's why it is called "football team." Team work makes the dream work.

So it is in marriage. There's nothing wrong if the wife assists in paying some bills and the husband helps in house chores. Effective marriage is teamwork.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l.

TO LOVE MERCY
[Understanding mercy]

She is fondly called Lamborghini. She has won the affection of many who watch one of the biggest TV reality shows in Africa. She might not be the most beautiful or the most brilliant lady in the show but trust me she is adorable because she is enthusiastic and has got contagious attitude of a screen goddess unlike one of them in the house. Chances are she will win the 2019 Big Brother TV Reality Show.

By now anyone who watches the show knows I am talking about MERCY.

TO LOVE MERCY

This week, the Bible study of the Seventh-day Adventist Church worldwide is captioned TO LOVE MERCY. The clause is derived from the book of Micah 6:8. It reads:

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and TO LOVE MERCY and to walk humbly with your God."

Christianity is a religion of mercy not merit. Mercy moved Christ to offer His life as our redeeming sacrifice.

Linguistically, mercy has been captured in all languages. But I am particularly interested in the word for mercy in Hebrew, Greek and Igbo languages.

In Hebrew, mercy is "hesed." Hesed refers to God's covenant loving-kindness. Hesed is that "quality in God that directs him to forge a relationship with people who absolutely do not deserve to be in relationship with him."

In Greek, there are so many nuances for mercy - oiktirmos, oiktiro, splanchna, splagchnizomai, eleos, etc. In the New Testament, the stem or root word is often eleos. For the purpose of this writing, I will dwell on splagchnizomai.

Splagchnizomai means to show pity, to feel sympathy for, to be moved to offer assistance, the compassion that makes one provide solution to a pitiable situation, and to have a deep concern for the well-being and welfare of others.

Mercy in Igbo is "ebere." Ebere is the offshoot of "Eberechi" meaning God's mercy. God's special kind of love for the unlovable, too much love, excess love, etc. The love for which you can't explain why.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMAN MERCY AND GOD'S MERCY

#1. Human mercy is limited; God's mercy is limitless. Human mercy has elastic limit. God's mercy lasts till eternity. God's mercy never comes to an end. It is new every morning.

#2. God's mercy is inexhaustible; human mercy is exhaustible. Unlike God, men may have mercy on you today and deal with you mercilessly tomorrow.

OUTCOMES OF MERCY

1. Mercy gives rise to forgiveness.
2. Mercy gives rise to peace. God's mercy offers peace to the troubled heart.
3. Mercy results to oneness. Mercy unites. Mercy leads to reconciliation. Mercy moved Christ to reconcile us with God.
4. Mercy leads to compassion. Mercy brings healing. Mercy moved Jesus to heal.
5. Mercy is the root that grows sympathy.
6. Mercy leads to answered prayer.
7. Mercy leads to generosity.
8. Mercy lead to justice.

Without mercy, our world will be a mess.

Uzuogu C. Francis
Value Life Int'l
Accra.