Unfold and Rise

Trigger warning: r**e, violence.

I couldn't let this week go by without adding my thoughts on the court case in UK media that has caused such controversy. This case has now been referred to the Court of Appeal - but the conversation it's opened up is too important to let pass.

It has brought these issues to light, and rightly so. This case has uncovered and put under the spotlight: judicial accountability, misogyny, what are our boys watching and being influenced by, social media access, how outdated our judges and the system are, masculinity, violence.

(To clarify the ages: the victims were 15 and 14 at the time of the attacks; the perpetrators were two 14-year-olds and one 13-year-old.)

My heart goes out to the victims and their families. It takes SO MUCH to get a case like that to court - a huge majority of victims (of all genders) don't report their cases to the police, and this is why.

That judge's verdict was a slap in the face of their young courage and the trauma they had to relive in court - a trauma they will relive every day for the rest of their lives, even with many years of therapy and work to come to terms with the violence and violation they experienced.

What makes this even more shocking is that the prosecution counsel explicitly raised a comparable case during sentencing - where a teenager convicted of similar offences received an eight-year custodial sentence. Judge Rowland was directly informed of this precedent and still handed down non-custodial orders.

Please sign the petition - link in bio. It's not just about reviewing and calling to account Judge Nicholas Rowland, but about introducing a fair judicial system that protects and advocates for victims, and prevents cases like this ever happening again. It's about instilling public faith and confidence in our judicial system. It starts by being open, accountable and transparent.

Leave your thoughts in the comments or DM me 🙏🏽

What a difference a year makes.. How often do you stop to look back on your progress?

It hit me the other day that this time last year, for Mental Health Awareness Week, I was recovering from burnout, which in April forced me to stop being in-my-head, constantly on-the-go, busy busy “doing”. I was forced to relinquish control - just let go of all the things.

A month later I was still being very discerning with my energy, only able to do the bare minimum, so had to be selective in what I chose to do.

I chose to create and deliver a workshop for MHAW at the invitation of @ Work in Process CIC. There was the host himself, @ Leighton, and two attendees. The fact I managed to deliver it and the guys found it valuable was a win for me.

Fast forward to this year, and I was invited to speak on Mental Health in the Workplace at @ The Business Desk Networking Lunch at the beautiful @ 24 stories. It was a sold out event with around 50 people. I was also invited by Cubo to bring a popup to their coworking space.

What a difference one year makes.

Same person. One year. Consistent aligned action steps.

The men I work with often don’t stop to acknowledge how far they’ve come either. You’re too busy carrying the burdens of home and work responsibilities, focussing on what’s next.

So if you’re in the thick of it, take a moment to self-reflect and acknowledge your wins - even the small one. Some people see this as a luxury or self-indulgent.

But it's actually foundational to your confidence, your self-worth, and your peace.

When you track back and look at what’s happened in the last year, you can take that data to inform how you move forward - what needs refining, where might you need to pivot, what’s a dead weight and needs to fall away?

And finally, how far could you go in the next year if you stopped outsourcing your sense of worth to other people’s validation and started building it from within?

Feel this? Comment below or DM me with your thoughts.

You think she’s being cold, difficult, or she’s becoming distant - pulling away for no reason.

Well, there’s always a reason.

A lot of the time, she’s protecting herself.

Here are 5 subtle signs, easy to miss - until you know what to look out for:

1. She minimises her own needs. Sounds like: “Whatever you think”, “I don’t mind”, “It’s up to you”. These phrases every now & again aren’t the problem, but if she says this the majority of the time, then there’s a pattern…She’s likely stopped voicing what she ACTUALLY wants & needs because somewhere along the way she learned it wasn’t safe to.

2. She’s stopped laughing & being fully herself around you. She seems to have lost her spark or light, she chooses her words carefully now. The relaxed, playful version of her only shows up when she’s sure the pressure’s off and you’re not feeling stressed.

3. She’s always the one reaching out to repair. After every fight, disconnection, or silence - she’s the one who comes back first to soothe & make amends. She’s emotionally carrying the relationship, this isn’t sustainable long-term. And she’s getting tired.

4. When your actions don’t match your words, she says “it’s fine.” She ain’t fine bro. This erodes trust, she’s stopped believing it’ll change & learnt ‘rocking the boat’ causes her more grief than solutions.

5. She’s become fiercely independent. Hyper-capable, in her masculine, controlled, closed off, distant but always “ok”. She’s lost her softness. She’s not naturally like that but she can’t trust you to hold her. So she’s learned to hold herself instead, shutting her ♥️ away.

So, she’s not pulling away because she doesn’t love you.

She’s pulling away because loving you has started to feel unsafe.

That’s not a “her” problem. That’s info for you - you can do something about it.

This is the work I do with men.

You’re not a bad partner - but nobody ever showed you what making her feel safe in a relationship actually looks like.

If this lands - my DMs are open 🙏🏽

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We can’t talk about without talking about this foundation: social relationships & intimacy.

85 years of Harvard research. The Netflix Blue Zones documentary. The WHO. The US Surgeon General.
They all say the same thing: The quality of your relationships is the single biggest predictor of how long you live & how healthy you are. It’s not just your diet or physical health but your relationships.

George Vaillant identified in his 2012 book that the most important ingredient for meaning and happiness is loving relationships. Consistently, the magic formula was capacity for intimacy, combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability.

So, the men who could be affectionate, emotionally connected with people, and organised about things had very enjoyable lives.

And, chronic loneliness according to the Surgeon General’s 2023 report, is as damaging to your health as smoking 15 ci******es a day 😯

Most high-achieving men I work with are physically disciplined. They know to train well, to eat nutritious food, and they optimise everything they can measure.

However, relationship health is the gap most people aren’t aware of - not because we don’t care, but because relationships as a topic is often spoken about as separate to health.

What’s clear is that good quality relationships are not just a nice-to-have but a fundamental basic human need - that sense of belonging - in a family, tribe, or community, whether work or personal.

I bet nobody ever told you that was a health strategy.
And the basis of all real quality relationships is emotional presence and attunement. It’s not an optional nicety, soft or weak - it’s actual science.

So, the man who invests in this doesn’t just have better relationships.

According to 85 years of research - he lives longer and healthier.

If this lands, drop a DM or comment with your thoughts 🙏🏽

💾 Save this - it’s worth coming back to. Share it with someone who needs to know.

Citations in the comments.

This one means a lot to share 🙏.

Lennon came to me through - a guy in his mid-20s from the North-East of the UK (where many men grew up with more stoicism and banter than emotional processing), navigating a difficult breakup and trying to find his footing.

What always struck me about him from the start was how open he was. In an industry that doesn't always make space for that, he showed up willing to reflect, do the work, and be honest about what he was going through.

That’s courage in the discomfort, the growth zone, and it’s not something you can coach into someone.
His results speak for themselves - he'll tell you himself in the reel 🙂

But what I'll say is: watching someone go from feeling lost to purposeful, from being low and stuck to taking the biggest leap of his life - relocating to the other side of the world no less - Australia! - to live, play, and work - is exactly why I love doing what I do and am so passionate about supporting men through their transitions and hard times.

It’s never about fixing men - you don’t need to be fixed.

It's about walking alongside you as you find your own way back to yourself.

Lennon - you did this! I just held the space. Thank you for your trust 🙏🏽