26/05/2025
Well worth a share. Made to feel you feel BELONG rather than just "included" is so very important
My son Andrew will never get married. He won’t have children. He won’t drive a car or experience many of the milestones we take for granted.
But he is happy. And he is healthy.
And to me, that’s everything.
When a stranger gives him a smile, it lights up my entire day.
When a girl glances at him kindly, joy rushes through his whole body like a wave of sunshine.
It doesn’t take much to be deeply, profoundly human.
Let me tell you a story.
At a party held at a school for children with special needs, one father stood up to speak.
What he said stayed with everyone who heard it.
After thanking the staff who worked with such devotion, he paused and shared a reflection:
“When nothing disturbs the balance of nature, the natural order reveals itself in perfect harmony.”
Then his voice began to tremble.
“But my son Herbert doesn’t learn like other children. He doesn’t understand like they do.
So tell me… where is the natural order in his life?”
The room fell completely silent.
Then he continued:
“I believe that when a child like Herbert is born—with a physical or cognitive disability—the world is given a rare and sacred opportunity:
To reveal the very core of the human spirit.
And that spirit is revealed not through perfection—but in how we treat those who need us most.”
He shared a moment he would never forget:
One afternoon, he and Herbert were walking past a field where some boys were playing soccer.
Herbert looked longingly at them and asked:
“Dad… do you think they’ll let me play?”
The father’s heart sank. He knew the answer was likely no.
But he also knew—if they said yes—it could give his son something far more valuable than a goal: a sense of belonging.
So he gently approached one of the boys and asked:
“Would it be okay if Herbert joined the game?”
The boy looked over at his teammates, hesitated, then smiled:
“We’re losing 3–0 and there’s ten minutes left… Sure. Let him take a penalty.”
Herbert lit up.
He ran to the bench, put on a jersey that nearly swallowed him whole, and beamed with pride. His father stood at the sidelines, tears in his eyes.
He didn’t play much. He just stood nearby, watching. But something in the boys shifted.
They began to see him—not as a distraction, but as one of them.
And then, in the final minute, a miracle happened.
Herbert’s team was awarded a penalty kick.
The same boy turned to the father and gave a knowing nod:
“It’s his shot.”
Herbert walked slowly to the ball, nervous but radiant.
The goalkeeper caught on. He made a show of diving to the side, giving the boy a clear shot.
Herbert nudged the ball gently forward.
It rolled across the goal line.
Goal.
The boys erupted in cheers. They hoisted Herbert into the air like he’d won the World Cup.
They didn’t just let him play.
They let him belong.
The father closed his speech with tears falling freely:
“That day, a group of boys made a decision… not to win, but to be human.
To show the world what kindness, dignity, and love really look like.”
Herbert passed away that winter.
He never saw another summer.
But he never forgot the day he was a hero.
And his father never forgot the night he came home, telling the story as his wife held Herbert close, weeping—not from sorrow, but from joy.
A final thought:
Every day, we scroll past distractions—memes, jokes, quick laughs.
But when something truly meaningful crosses our path, we hesitate.
We wonder: Who would understand this?
Who should I send this to?
If someone sent you this story, it’s because they believe you’re one of those people.
That you see the heart in others.
That you understand what really matters.
Because each day, the world gives us countless chances to choose decency over indifference.
As one wise man said:
“A society is judged by how it treats its most vulnerable.”
10/12/2024
Although Be Aware Be Clear is my personal project sometimes I feel it is appropriate to mention my paid work at my local hospital Trust
Today was my final event for Disability History Month I arranged two guest speakers from a local charity https://www.add-vance.org/
Turn out was very disappointing with quality over quantity being the phrase which comes to mind. We had two Non Executive Directors in the audience and a visit from our Chief Executive
26/11/2024
Did by annual disability awareness talk today to nearly 200 sixth formers. It was very well received with their teacher commenting that they had never been so quiet (showing that they were really concentrating to what I was saying).
I also got some really good questions. As I was leaving the teacher said, 'see you next year !!
12/10/2024
Two posts from me in less than 24 hours - what is going on??
I have finally published another blog post
S – Socical Model of Disability
Having covered the Medical Model earlier on in this my A-Z blog, it is now time to write about the Social Model of Disability. Thankfully, this became the preferred model in which to view disabilit…
11/10/2024
On Sunday night, the BBC put on some episodes from their documentary series ’40 minutes on…’ Originally, as part of this series there were 4 to 6 programmes following the life of Alison French, a lady with the same type of Cerebral Palsy as me. Watching it when I was about 15 or 16 yrs probably opened my eyes to what was possible (driving and getting married.) My reflections today are therefore, although I haven’t been able to achieve quite as much as she was able to I am very pleased with what I have managed to achieve. I think it I was given the option of being able to drive or live independently I would have chosen the latter, which is what I’ve ended up really enjoying. As for marriage, I am happy and content to be single.
For a collection of highlights from Alison French’s life the link is https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0023syd/40-minutes-i-alison - a programme which I would fully recommend.
40 Minutes - I, Alison
1988 follow-up to an acclaimed 40 Minutes film about Alison French, who has athetoid cerebral palsy. Alison is getting married and must adapt to being a clergyman's wife in south Wales.
04/08/2024
I'm so glad for being able to catch up on channel 4. A couple of people said how good the programme with Sophie Morgan was "Fight to Fly" It was very very insightful and great to hear that the aviation industry is finally taking steps to improve the experience people with limited mobility have when they fly. Very interesting watch.
25/07/2024
This is not the first time I've said it but my Facebook posts are like buses - you wait ages for one and then two come along at once. In my 2nd post this week I wanted to share a 10 minute video which I made for the NHS East of England's Disability Transformation Committee, a committee which I'm now a member of.
Heidi Buckell - My story
24/07/2024
At last! I have just published my latest blog post
S – Scope
I was diagnosed as having Cerebral Palsy (CP) when I was nine months old and this was when my affiliation with the charity Scope began, with my parents seeking help and advice. Through this seeking…
14/05/2024
My posts on this page are quite few and far between biut I want to do two posts today
Firstly I don't know whether other police constabulary's do this but I recently learnt about the Pegasus scheme and today my Pegasus card arrived. These cards are for people with any type of communication difficulty (autism or cerebral palsy etc etc..) People can register for free for a Pegasus card and if they ever need to contact the emergency services they just say Pegasus (or something similar) give their unique pin number and then the service can immediately load up details such as their Next of kin.
For those who don't live in Hertfordshire I would definitely recommend seeing if you local police have the same scheme and obviously if you live in Hertfordshire.....
Pegasus card scheme
Find out how to join our Pegasus card scheme, which makes it easier for you to contact us if you have communication difficulties.
20/03/2024
I have just published a new post to my blog - please click here to read it
R – Rock Choir
You would be forgiven if you are confused with the title of this post. In a blog which aims to raise awareness of disability, a post entitled Rock Choir is not something which people would expect t…