Baking A Recovery

Hope you all had an awesome Christmas! I know I did 🎄😊❤️

Trigger warning ⚠️ Christmas Day with an eating disorder.

Christmas is one of the hardest days of the year for me.. there’s so many food choices to make ALL damn day! It’s always ended in either feeling isolated and weird because everyone else is eating and I’m not, which obviously puts a lot of attention around me. “What are we gonna do about Kym?” “I can’t believe she’s not eating, so ungrateful” “get some meat on your bones”

Or it ends in a binge because honestly once I start eating unplanned “unsafe foods” I cannot stop. It’s like I’ve been saved off a desert island 🏝 with a guilt afterwards so strong ive ended my Christmas Day sat on the bathroom floor crying next to the toilet. I’ll refuse to eat for weeks. I don’t hate food, I love food, I have a disorder that makes me feel like I don’t deserve food. It tells me I’m disgusting, a horrible person.. pathetic.. look at you, you’re a monster.

But that’s not true, you know we go on and on about accepting everybody like that’s hard. Don’t forget about learning to accept yourself ❤️

This year is going to be my year I get it right a healthy medium. Wish me luck my dudes 🍀

Getting into the festive mood 🧑‍🍳 🥧
Having a baileys n’all 🤗

Concentrate on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase ❤️

We all have fears other people don’t understand.. why are you wearing a jumper? It’s a hot day? Just wear the bikini no one’s looking at you. Repeating your order over and over again in your head so that when it comes to pay you don’t get tongue tied and feel stupid.. can you just order for me?

Going for meals stresses me out, I take too long to order. Nothing on the menu ever feels safe. My brain turns into a calculator screaming numbers at me, is this too much? Is this too little? Something so normal to everyone else feels so alien to me. It doesn’t feel normal.. I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t be doing.. sometimes I even feel like it’s been so long I’m doing it wrong 😂

I tried haggis for the first time yesterday and had the first burger I’ve allowed myself to have in a very long time.

And it was good ❤️

Gluten free baileys tart😱? Now I don’t know what gluten is but I do know it’s in EVERYTHING but not this! So if you’re a celiac, you’re actually aloud this one go you! 🥲

Ingredients
350g gluten free digestive biscuits
2 table 🥄’s cocoa powder
165g melted butter
150g milk chocolate 🍫
150g dark chocolate 🍫
130ml baileys
270ml double cream
40g butter 🧈
50g white chocolate
Grated left over chocolate 🍫
Baileys truffles! 😋

Step 👆

Bash up your biscuits! Oh you have a food processor? Smart yeah you do that, I bashed mine with a rolling pin 🤫 put your biscuit crumbs in a big bowl 🥣 add your cocoa powder, mix together.

Pour in your melted butter 🧈 mix again.

Step ✌️

Get a loose bottom tart tin, spoon in your mixture, wash 🧼 ya hands 🙌🏻 and get in there pressing the mixture into the bottom of the tin and put the sides. Try and get it even, try and get it flat. Sorted? Put it in the fridge for at-least 30 minutes, maybe even an hour if you can wait that long ⏲

Step 🤟

Slice your dark chocolate and milk chocolate with a sharp knife so that it can melt quicker later and put it in a heat proof bowl, add your butter to the same bowl

In a small saucepan, heat 🥵 your cream and Baileys do this on low heat, keep stirring I imagine this can go wrong if you don’t do that. 😂 I’m picturing weird skin formations.

Once heated pour this on top of your chopped chocolate and butter, leave it for 5 minutes WITHOUT STIRRING. Take a breath! After 5 minutes ⏲ give it a stir it should all come together smooth and fully melted.

Step ✌️✌️

Remote your tart tin from the fridge and pour your chocolate baileys mixture, spread evenly.

Put it back in the fridge for the ganache to set for a few hours-overnight.

Then decorate I guess! Make a pattern with the melted white chocolate, grate some milk chocolate on there, add the truffles.

Ya done. Slice it up, keep refrigerated. 🙌🏻

👋🏻 hey who remembers these bad boys? They were so good! Gone in minutes in my house growing up. But why miss out when the ex*****on is so basic? It’s a cupcake 🧁 with a hard chocolate topping 🍫

I went with a simple vanilla cupcake recipe

Ingredients

200g unsalted butter, softened
200g golden caster sugar
3 🥚
2 tea 🥄 vanilla extract
200g self raising flour
1-2 table 🥄 milk
2 full size chocolate bars of your choosing I chose Milka 🍫

Step ☝️

Preheat your oven 180°C/fan 160°C/gas 4
Get a cupcake tray, get your cupcake cases, fill em in, In a large bowl combine the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy.

Add the 🥚’s one at a time in between adding each egg, give it all good mix. You can hand whisk but the more your whisk the lighter the cupcakes will be so use an electric whisk if you have one. Add the vanilla extract, beat for a few seconds to combine, fold in the flour with a spatula add the 🥛 fold again.

Step ✌️

Divide the batter between the cases, try not to overfill the cases, this will make adding the chocolate top easier for later. You can shave off the top of your cupcakes once baked though, I did still worked! bake for 20-25 minutes ⏲ let the cupcakes cool 😎

Step 🤟

Melt your chocolate 🍫 however you wanna do that is probably fine, if you microwave.. do it in very short intervals. Stop. Stir. keep an eye on it. Don’t burn it, it smells. And happens out of nowhere if you’re not paying attention! ⚠️

I however opted for the slightly more annoying but never fails. Boil some water in a pan, sit a bowl on top with your chocolate separated into small segments inside 🍫 stir until melted

Step ✌️✌️

Shave off a space on top of your cupcakes if you need to, if you don’t need to start adding the chocolate top!

Let it set in the fridge 😎

Finito. 👌🏻

Courage is letting go of the familiar.
Don’t be afraid to start again 😌 take a break when you need to 🥂 just don’t quit.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

Another easy one my dudes, love this one because it’s super easy! Any filling you want! We have pizza flavour and cheese 🧀 and pickle here.

But if you want a chocolate 🍫 fix? Hey spread whatever you want in there, there’s no judgement here 🤷‍♀️

How much of a god send is pre rolled puff pastry? Making me look like the damn baking queen👸 ok.

Since the filling is completely up to you I’ll just throw out an example, don’t be going insane though 🤪 you have to be able to roll this thing!

Pizza pinwheels 🍕

Ingredients

DENTAL FLOSS? 🦷
An 🥚
1 sheet of pre rolled puff pastry
x2 Tomato purée for spreading 🍅 any gaps? Honestly I just filled them in with regular tomato sauce 😅
100g of 🧀 your choice of course but what’s pizza without mozzarella? I went half cheddar, half mozzarella.
A Pack of Pepperoni 🍕

Step 👆
pre heat your oven 200°C/180°C fan/Gas 6
Yet again you have to pretend you know how to line a baking tray. Get 2 baking trays, cut some baking paper, get it on the trays am I right? Probably.. I haven’t burnt a house down yet 🤷‍♀️

Step 🤘

Lightly flour your surface and unroll the pastry sheet
Spread the tomato base, add the cheese, you might wanna chop that pepperoni. I’m gonna ask you to grab that dental floss and the pepperoni’s not gonna wanna play ball 🏀 with this hack.

Step 🤟

tightly roll the pastry sheet into a sausage shape. Grab the dental floss, cut a piece of string.

Divide the sausage as evenly as you can using THE DENTAL FLOSS 💋 you should get around 10-12 slices. Slip the dental floss underneath the pastry sausage, cross the dental floss over the top and pull both ends (this gives you a clean cut, stops the filling falling out and the pinwheels just look perfect!) 👌🏻 remember we’re pretending we know our way around a kitchen!

Put them on the baking trays, whisk up an 🥚 brush them over

Stick them in the oven to bake for 15 minutes ⏲ enjoy and.. complain that you’ve been baking all day and I dunno maybe someone will make you a brew ☕️

Wether it’s the road to recovery, following your dreams or you’re just trying to make it through the day. We’re all on a journey and that can be hard 🤯 one step at a time is all it takes to get you there. Forgive yourself, love yourself, be proud of yourself.

Your journey matters ❤️ and you will get there 💪🏻

Hi 👋🏻 my names Kym and I have an eating disorder, the wires in my brain are tangled, I know that.

Every day is hard, I feel like no one understands me they don’t think eating is hard.. everyone does that every day right? It brings me fear, anxiety, panic attacks, loss of control.

Not eating was my safe space, my coping mechanism. I took all my problems and feelings and bottled them up in an empty stomach. They all pour out when I eat.

Baking has helped me be around food again 👩‍🍳
I want that to be my new safe space, my new coping mechanism.

I have been purge free for ✌️years. Although I’m still on my journey, looking back I have come a long way.

I need to remind myself that I’m trying my best and you should too. I wish you all the best on whatever journey you’re on, stay safe my dudes 🤜🏻🤛🏻

Okay, this is a fun one 🤪
Soft pretzels with cinnamon sugar 🥨

Ingredients

275g strong white bread flour
275g plain flour
2 table 🥄 caster sugar
1 sachet easy-bake yeast
350ml warm milk🥛
100g unsalted butter, melted 🧈
2 table 🥄 bicarbonate of soda
2 tea 🥄 ground cinnamon
75g caster sugar

Step ☝️

Get a large bowl, biggest bowl you got!
Sift both the flours add the 2 table 🥄 ‘s of caster sugar.. the sachet of yeast (7g if you have a tub) and a pinch of salt 🧂 in the centre of the bowl, part the flour and make a well

In that well pour the milk, ⚠️ get the melted butter and keep atleast 2 tables🥄 for later!!! ⚠️ but pour the rest in the well too.

Get a wooden spoon and mix until the dough comes together looking soft and smooth 😎

Step 🤘

Lightly flour your counter and knead for about 10 minutes ⏲

Get another large bowl and oil the inside, stick your dough in there, cover the bowl with clingfilm in a warm room, leave the dough for 1 hour to rise ⏲ It should at-least double in size! THIS DOUGH IS ALIVE! 🤪

Step 🤟

Knead the dough for 1 minute ⏲ and then divide into 16 pieces, now the pretzel shape 🥨 the dough should be pretty stretchy roll the pieces of dough with your hands and the counter to make a long sausage, loops the ends of the sausage and twist them together. Honestly.. if you can just make them not look like dog poops 💩 you’re impressive.

Pre heat the oven 200°C/180°C fan/Gas 6
Get 2 baking trays, stick some baking paper on em’

Step ✌️✌️

Get a large pan, half fill it with boiling water 💧 add the bicarbonate of soda, let it simmer.

Get you pretzels 🥨 or 💩’s one at a time or 3 at a time if you’re brave, lower them into the water and cook for 1 minute ⏲ remove and transfer them onto the baking tray, bake for 10 minutes ⏲

They should be golden!
Brush on the remaining melted butter and immediately dip them in the sugar and cinnamon.

Try dipping one in some coffee ☕️ it’s deserved!

Just hit 💯 likes that’s really cool, thanks guys! 😊

Hey my dudes 👋🏻 it’s Monday, just finished work, imma hit you with an easy one that’s always a winner 🥇

If you have a knife 🔪 a tray and an oven ❤️‍🔥 you can make these in your sleep, greggs who? We don’t know her. We don’t skimp on the fillings 😬

Ingredients

1 pack of your favourite sausages, I was quite impressed with the Red Leicester & Jalapeno Pork Sausages 😉 now you sound like you bake and this took effort!

A sheet of pre rolled puff pastry
A beaten egg 🥚
Sesame seeds

Step 👆preparation

keep your pastry chilled! Don’t go fu***ng this up because your kitchens too hot and now you just have pastry stuck to the counter and no sausage rolls to bring to the party 🎉
Pre heat oven to 180°C
Pretend you know what lining a baking tray means, I just stick a sheet baking paper on it am’I’right?
Now beat an egg 🥚

Get your sausages if you bought decent ones this process will be easy for you cut the very tip of the sausages and peel off the skin, whack them in the bowl, using a fork mash em up!

Step 🤘

Unroll the pastry sheet, keep the pastry on the sheet as you cut straight down the middle so that you have 2 long sheets of pastry.
Now cut the opposite side until you have 10 equal sheets of pastry rectangles 🧮 quick maffs.

Now you have a top and a bottom to each of your sausage roll bakes, I like to lightly flour the counter just be safe, nothing ends up sticking. Grab a rectangle for the bottom of your bake, grab some of the sausage meat, using your hands make a meat ball, pat it down slightly in your hand. I feel like I’m playing cooking mama.

Add it to the bottom of your pastry sheet and brush the remaining pastry edges with some of that beaten egg 🥚 so your top sheet has something to stick to. Put it on there. Get a fork be fancy, use the fork end to enclose your bake edges. Get it on the baking tray! Repeat and you’ll have yourself 5 sausage roll bakes on the tray.

Step 🤟

Get a sharp knife 🔪 the sausage needs to be able to cook and breathe in there so swipe the knife across each of the bakes, I cut 3 lines per bake.

Brush some beaten egg on the top add some sesame seeds because you’re extra 💁🏼‍♀️

Oven 20 minutes ⏲ after 20 minutes I usually turn the tray around, check again after 15 minutes. If they’re golden enough for you they’re done ✅