The Advocacy Collective

26/05/2026

✈️ Holiday mode… officially ON 😅💚

Today’s the day… we’re off on our first holiday abroad with all 5 kids…

And if you know—you KNOW 😂

I just want to take a minute to say how much of a difference the right support makes.

Honestly, the support we’ve had from Jet2.com & Jet2holidays has taken away so much of the stress I thought we’d be dealing with today.

From airport assistance, to getting Georgie safely onto the plane, to making sure we’re all seated together and transfers are accessible…

It’s made something that felt overwhelming feel manageable.

So just a little “did you know” for anyone who might need this—

👉 You can request passenger assistance at airports

This can include:
✈️ Help getting through the airport
✈️ Support with boarding (including ambilift if needed)
✈️ Assistance getting to your seat
✈️ Help with transfers

You don’t have to struggle through it alone.

We’re still a bit nervous 😅
Still expecting chaos with 5 kids…

But also really excited to just make some memories together 💜

Wish us luck… we’re going in 😂✈️

Currently running on snacks, caffeine and vibes 🍫☕✨

23/05/2026

Thankyou The Parent Pod Scarborough c.i.c 💜✨

🌟 Share It Saturday 🌟

This week we’re highlighting The Advocacy Collective 👏

Providing advocacy-based and SEND-related support for families, with lived experience and understanding at the heart of what they do.

From EHCP support and meetings to benefits, appeals and emotional support — they offer guidance to help families feel heard, supported and empowered.

Definitely worth checking out if you’re navigating the SEND journey and looking for support from someone who truly understands.

👉 Go and give them a follow

The Advocacy Collective 🫶

23/05/2026

🧠💜 A Conversation The Advocacy Collective Needs To Start Having!

The more I research parent carer burnout, coercive control, trauma, and systems harm… the clearer one thing becomes:
Parents and carers of disabled and neurodivergent children are often living under levels of pressure most people will never fully understand.

Not just emotionally. Not just physically. But psychologically too.

Many parent carers are already navigating:
😴 Chronic exhaustion
📂 Endless paperwork and appointments
💷 Financial strain
🏠 Isolation
🧠 Hypervigilance
⚖️ Dependence on systems and professionals
💔 Fear of being judged as “not coping”
And that combination can create a very specific vulnerability profile.

One where:
🚩 Boundaries become harder to maintain
🚩 Burnout becomes normalised
🚩 Emotional abuse goes unnoticed
🚩 Coercive dynamics are minimised
🚩 The stable caregiver slowly collapses under impossible pressure

One of the hardest truths?

A dysregulated, exhausted, unsupported parent carer can easily be perceived by systems as:
“too emotional”
“difficult”
“overwhelmed”
“unstable”

…when in reality they may be functioning under:
⚖️ Prolonged stress
🧠 Chronic hypervigilance
💔 Trauma
🏛️ Systems pressure
😔 Caregiver burnout
📣 Constant advocacy demands

And there is a huge difference.

Sometimes what looks like “not coping” is actually:
👉 carrying too much for too long without enough support.

This is the conversation I want The Advocacy Collective to explore more deeply.

Not to blame. Not to victimise parents. But to better understand:
🌿 why parent carers are more vulnerable to burnout and coercive dynamics
🌿 why stable caregivers can reach crisis point
🌿 why support systems sometimes accidentally retraumatise families
🌿 and why trauma-informed advocacy matters so much

Because too many parents are drowning silently while still being expected to hold everyone else afloat.

And I think it’s time we started talking about that more openly. 💜

22/05/2026

💜🌿 It has been a heavy week researching and reflecting on different forms of control, manipulation, and emotional abuse that can exist within parental and family relationships — especially the kinds of dynamics that quietly impact children behind closed doors.

The more I learn, the more I realise how many parents and carers are living in survival mode without even having language for what they are experiencing.

Sometimes it is not obvious.
Sometimes it looks like:
🧠 confusion
📂 constant stress
💭 self-doubt
⚖️ carrying everything alone
😔 walking on eggshells
📅 unreliability
🔄 mixed messages
💔 emotional exhaustion

And often, the children absorb far more than adults realise.

My hope with this series is not to create conflict or division.

It is to create awareness. Understanding. Language. Validation.

Because when people can finally recognise a pattern, they are often able to:
🌿 set healthier boundaries
🌿 advocate more confidently
🌿 stop blaming themselves
🌿 protect their children emotionally
🌿 take informed action where needed

If you have recognised yourself in anything I have shared this week, please know:
💜 You are not weak.
💜 You are not “too sensitive.”
💜 You are not imagining it.

Awareness can be the very first step towards change.

And sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is finally trust what our nervous system has been trying to tell us all along. 💜

💜

22/05/2026

🌫️ Gaslighting
When someone makes you question your own reality.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person causes you to doubt your memory, perception, intentions, or judgment.

Over time, it can leave you feeling confused, defensive, and unsure whether your concerns are valid.

💬 What Gaslighting Can Sound Like

💬 “I can only assume you were drunk.”
💬 “That never actually happened.”
💬 “I hear stories that make me question your decisions.”
💬 “You’re overreacting.”
💬 “Your version of events isn’t accurate.”

At first glance, these statements may appear calm or reasonable.

But their impact can be profound.

🧠 How It Affects Parents and Carers

When you are already under significant pressure, gaslighting can lead to:

😔 Self-doubt
🧠 Constant second-guessing
💭 Overexplaining yourself
⚖️ Feeling the need to prove your reality
💔 Loss of confidence in your own judgment

🚩 Common Examples

Gaslighting often involves:

- Denying events that you clearly remember
- Rewriting history
- Minimising your concerns
- Presenting rumours as facts
- Suggesting your emotional responses are irrational
- Framing legitimate advocacy as harmful

🌿 The Core Truth

If you find yourself repeatedly thinking:

💭 “Did that really happen?”
💭 “Am I overreacting?”
💭 “Maybe it is all my fault.”

…it may be worth considering whether your reality is being distorted.

✨ A Powerful Reminder

Your memory matters.
Your perception matters.
Your instincts matter.

You do not need someone else to validate your reality in order for it to be true.

💜 Why This Matters

Understanding gaslighting helps parents and carers:

🧠 Trust their own experiences
🛡️ Set stronger boundaries
📂 Document facts clearly
⚖️ Challenge inaccurate narratives
🌱 Rebuild confidence in their own judgment

Sometimes the most healing words you can hear are:

“You are not imagining it.”

And sometimes the most powerful step you can take is to trust yourself again. 💜

💜

22/05/2026

💜

22/05/2026

🧱🚪 Stonewalling
When silence becomes a form of control.

Stonewalling happens when someone consistently avoids communication, refuses to respond, or withholds important information.

Sometimes there is no argument.
No explanation.
No direct refusal.

Just silence.

And that silence leaves you carrying all of the uncertainty.

💬 What This Can Look Like

💬 Messages left unanswered
💬 Ignoring important questions
💬 Refusing to confirm plans
💬 Withholding information about the children
💬 Responding only when it suits them
💬 Avoiding difficult conversations
💬 Shutting down completely

🧠 The Hidden Impact

Stonewalling can leave parents and carers feeling:

😰 Anxious
🧠 Stuck in overthinking
📅 Unable to plan
💔 Rejected and dismissed
⚖️ Forced to make decisions alone
😔 Emotionally exhausted

The silence itself becomes the message.

💥 Why It Is So Powerful

When someone refuses to engage:

⏳ You are left waiting
🧠 Your mind fills in the gaps
📂 You keep chasing for clarity
💜 Your energy is consumed by uncertainty

And often, the responsibility quietly shifts back onto you.

🌿 The Core Truth

Silence does not remove responsibility.

Avoiding communication does not make the issue disappear.

It simply transfers the emotional and practical burden to the person still trying to keep everything functioning.

✨ A Powerful Reminder

You are allowed to:

💜 Set clear deadlines
💜 Stop chasing repeatedly
💜 Make decisions based on the information available
💜 Document patterns of non-response
💜 Protect your time and energy

💜 Why This Matters

Recognising stonewalling helps parents and carers:

🧠 Reduce overthinking
🛡️ Set firmer boundaries
📂 Keep accurate records
⚖️ Challenge unreliable patterns
🌱 Preserve emotional wellbeing

Sometimes the loudest message is no message at all.

And sometimes the most peaceful decision is to stop waiting for a response that may never come. 💜

💜

21/05/2026

🧩🔺 Triangulation
When communication is filtered through other people instead of being addressed directly.

Triangulation is a common dynamic in high-conflict relationships and family systems.

It happens when one person brings a third party into the situation to relay messages, apply pressure, influence perceptions, or avoid direct accountability.

Instead of dealing with the issue openly, the conversation becomes distorted through other people.

💬 What This Can Look Like

💬 “My mum said…”
💬 “My partner thinks…”
💬 “Everyone agrees…”
💬 Messages passed through relatives or friends
💬 Professionals receiving a very different version of events
💬 Children being placed in the middle

🧠 Why It Feels So Destabilising

When multiple people become involved:

😵 Facts get blurred
🧠 You start doubting yourself
🔄 Conflict becomes harder to resolve
🚪 Boundaries are bypassed
⚖️ The original issue gets lost

It can feel like you are responding to a constantly shifting narrative rather than dealing with facts directly.

💥 The Hidden Impact

Triangulation can leave parents and carers feeling:

😔 Isolated
📣 Outnumbered
🛡️ Forced to defend themselves
💔 Emotionally exhausted
🧠 Hypervigilant

And because the messages come through others, accountability becomes much harder to pin down.

🌿 The Core Truth

Healthy relationships rely on:

✅ Direct communication
✅ Clear boundaries
✅ Personal accountability
✅ Respect for agreed processes

If someone repeatedly uses others to communicate or influence decisions, the dynamic itself deserves attention.

✨ A Powerful Reminder

You are allowed to say:

💜 “Please communicate with me directly.”
💜 “I will not engage through third parties.”
💜 “Decisions should be based on evidence, not hearsay.”
💜 “My boundaries are not negotiable.”

💜 Why This Matters

Recognising triangulation helps parents and carers:

🧠 Trust their instincts
📂 Document facts
🛡️ Maintain boundaries
⚖️ Challenge distorted narratives
🌱 Protect their emotional wellbeing

Sometimes the most confusing experiences become much clearer when you realise there is a name for the pattern.

And once you can name it, you can begin to respond with confidence rather than confusion. 💜

💜

21/05/2026

🧠💜 I have officially started my Somatic Coaching course… and honestly, I’m so excited about where this could lead ✨

The more I learn about trauma, chronic stress, nervous system overwhelm and hypervigilance… the more I realise how many SEND parents and carers are living in survival mode without even realising it.

So many of us become experts at:
📂 managing crises
⚖️ fighting systems
🧠 masking exhaustion
💭 anticipating problems
😔 carrying emotional overload

…that we forget our nervous systems were never designed to live under this level of pressure long term.

And this is exactly why I want The Advocacy Collective to become more than just advocacy support.

I want it to become:
🌿 a safe space
🌿 an empowering space
🌿 a trauma-informed space
🌿 a place where parent carers feel understood, supported and regulated

Because I truly believe advocacy is not just about paperwork and policies.

It is also about:
💜 emotional safety
💜 nervous system awareness
💜 rebuilding confidence
💜 understanding burnout
💜 helping parents feel less alone

I feel incredibly passionate about this because of my own lived experience and struggles.

Not just as an advocate…
…but as a parent carer who understands what it feels like to live in chronic stress, anxiety, overwhelm and hypervigilance for long periods of time.

And honestly?
For the first time in a long time, I feel completely aligned with this path.

It doesn’t just feel like a course.

It feels like part of my own healing journey too.

I’m incredibly excited to start integrating nervous system education, somatic approaches, emotional safety and trauma-informed support into my advocacy work moving forward.

Not just helping parents fight systems…

…but helping them feel safe enough to finally exhale too. 💜

Blending advocacy, nervous system education and trauma-informed support into one holistic parent carer service.✨✨

Excited!!! 💜✨🙏

21/05/2026

🧠💔 The Impact Malicious Reports and False Allegations Have on Children and the Stable Parent
What many people fail to understand is that the damage rarely stops with the accusation.

When repeated allegations, anonymous reports, rumours, or malicious accusations are made against a parent or carer, the emotional impact reaches far beyond the adult being targeted.

Children feel it too.

Even when they are protected from the details.

Even when nobody speaks about it directly.

Children absorb stress, tension, fear, and instability far more than many adults realise.

An attack on the sole care giver - is a DIRECT attack on the child/rens peace and wellbeing!

🧒 The Impact on Children

Children living in environments affected by repeated accusations or conflict may begin to experience:

😰 Anxiety and hypervigilance
💭 Fear that something bad is going to happen
🧠 Emotional dysregulation
💔 Confusion and divided loyalties
📉 Reduced sense of safety and stability
😔 Guilt for “causing stress”
🏠 Fear about losing their home, routines, or secure parent

Some children become withdrawn.

Some become angry.

Some become clingy, tearful, or emotionally overwhelmed.

Others appear “fine” while carrying enormous emotional pressure internally.

👩‍👧‍👦 The Impact on the Stable Primary Carer

For the sole or primary caregiver, repeated allegations can create:

📂 Constant pressure to defend themselves
🧠 Chronic anxiety and overthinking
😴 Exhaustion and burnout
⚖️ Fear of being misunderstood by professionals
💔 Emotional overwhelm
🏛️ Endless involvement with systems and agencies

Instead of focusing fully on parenting, energy is diverted into survival mode.

💥 Why This Matters So Much

Children rely on emotional stability from at least one safe adult.

When the stable parent is repeatedly pushed into crisis, scrutiny, fear, or emotional exhaustion, the entire household feels the impact.

This is why malicious reports and repeated accusations are never “harmless.”

Even when they are unfounded.

The emotional ripple effects can be enormous.

🌿 The Core Truth

Safeguarding systems exist to protect children.

But false or malicious allegations can destabilise the very homes where children feel safest.

That matters.

And it deserves to be recognised.

✨ A Powerful Reminder

Protective parents and carers are still human beings.

They deserve:

💜 Emotional safety
💜 Fairness
💜 Evidence-based decision making
💜 Support rather than suspicion
💜 Space to parent without constant fear

💜 Why Awareness Matters

Understanding the emotional impact of repeated allegations helps professionals and families recognise that:

🧠 Emotional safety matters
⚖️ Evidence matters
🏡 Stability matters
🛡️ The wellbeing of the stable caregiver matters too

Because when the safe parent is drowning, children often feel the waves long before anyone else sees them.

💜