The Embodiment Practitioner

12/09/2023

Sharing some client testimonials from wonderful members of who attended my last course of Dating Workshops, ahead of the next course which starts this Saturday, 16th September.

Course content includes self-compassion techniques, learning from your past, identifying your relationship values, needs & wants, navigating the practicalities of dating, healthy communication and boundaries.

I can’t wait to share more of the scientifically based information and tried-and-tested techniques that help people navigate the ups and downs of dating. The last course was a huge success, and I’m looking forward to supporting more people to empower themselves with this valuable work. Excited to meet those already signed up on the course – four days to go!
Book your place here: https://SingleParentsWellbeing.as.me/?appointmentType=49629036

I also have some availability for one-to-one sessions. If this is of interest to you, please message me directly to arrange a free 20-minute consultation.
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27/03/2023

https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3wmwx/how-to-be-a-better-lover

I had a blast being interviewed for this “How to Be a Better Lover” article for It was great to see the completed feature in print, and how the words of the other experts interviewed echoed my own.

To be supported in following the advice in this article or dealing with other issues that may be getting in the way of you having the s*x life you desire, message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.

I support clients to feel more in their bodies via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Clients report that the somatic practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels than talking alone.



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You don't have to put up with it if your relationship isn't stacking up, s*xually speaking.

08/03/2023

…whether solo or partnered, in-person or via an app, with or without props.

Focusing more on the positive today, rather than on the Or**sm Gap (👀 👀). Conditions may not always be right for us, but women’s bodies have immense capacity for pleasure, which is something to celebrate! 🎊

I support clients to feel more in their bodies via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Clients report that the somatic practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels than talking alone.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.





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16/02/2023

💪🏽💗

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about quitting. And I’ve been on a systematic mission to examine and quit everything in my life/work that feels finished or draining or one-sided or obligatory or without purpose or joy. So far in the past 9 months, I’ve quit alcohol, food restrictions, teaching college, my podcast (more on that to come), two boards of directors, working on Fridays, working on umpteen client projects at once, coffee dates with people I don’t know, most public speaking, writing any more books, several friendships, and most weekday evening plans. I have not felt as happy, “balanced” (if such a thing exists) and such a sense of spaciousness in nearly 20 years. I’ve begun to think of this as “loud quitting” — intentional, communicated, assertive (as opposed to passive), and unapologetic. So, to be clear, this not necessarily the opposite of “quiet quitting,” which is about not going above and beyond in the workplace (which I also support) — just simply my way of overtly claiming and taking control over my time in a way I haven’t in my entire life — because, for most of my 55 years, I thought it was literally my duty to please/serve others. Ironically, one of my core values is service, but I’ve come to realize that when I serve others out of joy and connection and purpose and not out of a sense of obligation, there are only rewards. In addition to quitting, I’ve also been changing the structure of other things in my life to create more ease, including in my non-profit and my business. I am so lucky to be married to someone who not only fully supports all of these efforts but is similarly engaged in this process herself. I have so much more to say about quitting and I’ll encapsulate most of that in my final podcast episode which will happen in early April. For the record, I’ve been thinking about and working towards this moment for YEARS. It did not happen overnight and took a lot of emotional work, connecting with my core values, letting go of old beliefs about who I am and why I am here on this earth. Curious if any of you have gone through a similar process or feel ready or inspired to do something similar. Hope everyone has a solid Wednesday.

24/01/2023

I had some fun riffing on this famous Benjamin Franklin quote which is often used as a motto for how we learn best: “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn”.

Along with the rise in therapy and self-help, increased self-awareness is a wonderful thing. As we reflect on the person we are and the experiences we’ve had, we may notice that we’ve developed patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms. This knowledge brings about clarity and can produce some amazing lightbulb moments, leaving us full of hope for a brighter future. …And then it’s very common for people to feel stuck.

An often-quoted idiom that makes me shudder is “knowing is half the battle”. To me it sounds overly positive or ambitious, almost as if by simply knowing, the most difficult part of our inner work is done. Another way of looking at it is that our work has only just begun. As in fact, changing our behaviour can be challenging and uncomfortable, especially if we try to do it all on our own.

I support clients via embodied experiential learning opportunities, using modalities such as embodiment coaching and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Clients report that the embodied practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels than talking alone.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.



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16/01/2023

Following on from my last post…part 3 of 3!

“Communicating your needs” sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But in a culture which trains us to stuff down our needs and wants from when we are babies, it is no wonder that most of us have trouble with the “noticing, trusting and valuing” of our needs. It could take hours, days, weeks, months or years of reflection and digging for our true needs to come out into the light. Not least because often what society tells us to need or want, isn’t what we really need or want at all!

Getting clear on our values is very useful for exploring our authentic needs and wants. At the very least we will need paper and pen for this! Research has shown that journalling/brain-dumping/brain-storming by hand, rather than typing, stimulates more brain activity, which can boost connection to our emotional landscape, creativity and memory. Other useful tools are guiding activities such as those created by Betty Martin or Russ Harris, and a sounding board such as a therapist/counsellor/practitioner/trusted person.

So it could be said that this is the very first step one needs to take when practising boundaries work. Though I have left it till last to write about in this series 😊

Boundary work can be guided by practices such as Wheel of Consent or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I support clients via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Sessions always involve talking, but the embodied practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.


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20/12/2022

Following on from my last post, some other lessons about boundaries are;

- One common style of implementing boundaries is communicating them verbally. This is done in a way that is fair and considerate.

- Verbally setting boundaries includes giving consequences.

- Verbalising boundaries needs to be well-timed, preferably having already made requests for your needs to get met – perhaps multiple times.

When verbally setting boundaries, do not speak aggressively or sarcastically. Another way of setting boundaries is with your behaviour, but this is extremely nuanced – being mindful of avoiding passive-aggression – and is a whole other post!

Stating consequences along with a boundary can be extremely challenging, and usually takes some careful thought about what type of consequence is appropriate. Practice makes progress.

It can be extremely frustrating having to repeat our tender needs to another human, especially because we are not raised to “notice, trust, value and communicate” our needs and wants. In fact, the exact opposite happens in our childhoods, as we are repeatedly told communicating our needs is “rude”! However, it is essential that we do repeat our requests, as people may not have the capacity to hear or meet them the first, second or third time we make a request. What seems “obvious” to you could easily be something that another person is oblivious to – even if you said it once. Deep breaths and keep going!

Boundary work can be guided by practices such as Wheel of Consent or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I support clients via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Sessions always involve talking, but the embodied practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.


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13/12/2022

My posts usually happen when I have a bolt of inspiration from something I’m reading, observing or experiencing. This one has taken me a while! I notice a lot of expectations around boundary work, some of them being;

Boundaries will help me get what I need/want.
Boundaries will change the behaviour of others.
Now that I’ve learned how to do boundaries, it will be straightforward to implement.

Being attached to these expectations can lead to huge disappointment, because it is entirely possible that you could perfectly execute a boundary, struggle with the process, hurt yourself and others, not change anything, and not get what you need/want. Ouch! Due to this, it is important to prepare yourself for the potential grief on the other side.

Beyond this grief and on the plus side, you may be fortunate to experience the positive effects of self-care because you did not abandon yourself. Or you may feel the weight of resentment lifting. Or you may get a different need fulfilled that you didn’t even know you had when you started the process.

Also, of course, it is possible that you WILL get your original need met! 💪🏽😉

Boundary work can be guided by practices such as Wheel of Consent or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I support clients via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Sessions always involve talking, but the embodied practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.


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13/12/2022

Reflecting on my ’ACT for Relationships’ training with Dr Russ Harris (of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy fame), and struck by how well it complements my work as a s*x educator and coach. The quote above is taken from his Bill of Rights, and highlights the necessity for assertiveness in successful relationships. It ties in very well to Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent practices, which are a deep dive into the incredibly rich domain of wanting. On the surface it may sound simple, but when we spend some time with this subject, we realise how complex this is.

Many of us have been subjected to so much “good girl/boy” societal conditioning, that we have trouble “noticing, trusting and valuing” what we want, and that’s before we even get to the stage of “communicating” it! But like everything that we learn, practice makes progress.

I’m excited about weaving ACT strategies into a new series of dating workshops I’m putting together, ready for January 2023. At its core, ACT is a behavioral practice: it’s about taking action. Similarly, in my coaching work I support clients via embodied experiential learning opportunities. Sessions always involve talking, but the embodied practices take the learning and healing to much deeper levels.

Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.



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13/12/2022

Too good to not share! 😂❤️‍🔥
This meme from the wonderful brings me such joy!
As a good friend described it, a “giggle swoon”. I found myself inwardly asking “is it normal to get turned on by a meme?”! And then I remembered Emily Nagoski; “We know by now that there’s no such thing as normal - or rather, that we’re all normal”. 🥰

As a trauma-informed Somatic S*x Educator, I provide clients with routes that support your nervous system to relax out of dysregulation and disconnection. Clients report that practising these useful techniques gives them comfort and resilience in their everyday lives.
Message me to arrange a free 15-minute consultation via video or audio call.

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