Evnia Coaching

You know how to be yourself. But when others are involved, you feel that your authentic self-expression will cost you the connection & belonging.

That’s why you adjust yourself, become what others expect you to be and silence your truth.

Somewhere along the line when growing up you learned that being yourself is not welcomed and so you started prioritising others and what they want over your truth.

As a child, this worked for the moment and it gave you a form of acceptance and belonging that felt vital. But it came at a price: 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

Now as an adult, you can often sense the inner conflict between your real expression and the adjusted one.

You are the only one who can be you in this life, so who is better equiped to do that than you?

Knowing this intellectually is not enough though, as your body has registered authenticity with threat of connection.

Restoring the inner safety of being yourself and expressing your truth means that you stop abandoning yourself in order to have acceptance/connection/belonging.

If you’re ready to come back to yourself, this is the work we do together.

Check the link in bio. 💫

The reason why going against your Inner Critic doesn’t work in the long term is that if the concerns of these parts are not addressed at their root, they will become even louder if you ignore them since these parts have an important role in your system and they want to be heard and acknowledged.

These parts usually hold old programmings and don’t yet know that they don’t have to hold their role so strongly anymore - but this is where you come in to offer support from a compassionate and understanding place that benefits these parts and your whole system.

The Working With Your Inner Critic Mini-Workshop was created to guide you through the process of connecting with an inner critic part and easing the tension and pressure that they may create by providing support to them.

The great thing is that you can do this in your own time, using the audio practice in the workshop.

✨ Access the Mini-Workshop here: https://www.evniacoaching.com/innercriticregistration

When you get to know and understand inner critic parts such as the “perfectionist”, you can then better support them and ease the pressure and tension.

While honouring their role in your system you bring more inner safety so that they don’t have to work so hard and so that you can access more of your innate qualities of creativity, flow and authenticity that long to be expressed.

Comment “Inner Critic” to be first notified for my upcoming self-paced mini workshop that will help you create a healthy relationship with these parts and support them in feeling more inner safety so you can flourish. ✨

Old subconscious programmes such as perfectionism served us in the past and had an important role to help us survive, and now as adults we can be the ones to support our inner system so we can thrive, not just survive.

When we work with these inner parts in us, we can release the old stories and narratives that don’t serve us anymore and update our system with new information that deepen our connection to ourselves and create a new reality in our lives. 💫

Read through to find out how this client worked with her pattern of perfectionism:

Case Study: Perfectionism When Sofia came to work with me she was tired of how perfectionism was taking up all her energy at work and wouldn’t let her enjoy what she was doing, as everything always had to be perfect and nothing was ever good enough for her. She also shared that she was constantly anxious about her performa...

Triggers are showing parts of us that are trying to communicate with us that something in our system needs our attention.

The current events that trigger us are only acting as mirrors to the original event(s) in the past that initiated this pattern and so when we find the origins of the pattern, we can resolve it - instead of having it endlessly repeating in the present as it is trying to find that resolve. When we suppress it, numb it or pretend it’s not there we don’t let it find the completion and the pattern repeats.

When we follow the unfolding of a trigger, we get to access the information that needs to be communicated and from there we can help and support these parts in us that need it. 💜

If you want a tool to help you in this process check out Your Pattern course, it is a self-guided process that you can use when you feel triggered and want to unfold the messages of the trigger and provide the support in these parts in you that feel activated.

You can find it in the link below:

https://www.evniacoaching.com/registration

(Updated)

The usual advice that many people give is to go against your inner critic or ignore them. While this might sometimes work (usually for a little bit), there is a lot of resistance that we have to fight through which can be very tiring for our whole system.

While when we get to know our inner critic(s) this can help us increase our awareness and understanding so that then we can support them and update them with new information that wouldn’t mean they have to carry the burden of having this role anymore.

Then we will create inner space to be in flow and go towards our goals with more ease as the resistance will have been greatly reduced.

💫If you’d like support in your inner journey, check the link below:

www.evniacoaching.com

🌟 Η αυτοπεποίθηση είναι κάτι που έχουμε όλοι μέσα μας, αυτό που πολλές φορές όμως συμβαίνει είναι το ότι χάνουμε την πρόσβαση μας σε αυτήν. Διαβάστε περισσότερα εδώ: ⤵️

Βρες την φυσική αυτοπεποίθηση που πηγάζει από μέσα σου - Όμορφη Ζωή Της Στέφης Δασκαλοπούλου - Πόσες φορές έχεις κάνει σκέψεις όπως “αν είχα περισσότερη αυτοπεποίθηση θα έκανα αυτό, θα τολμούσα εκείνο, ή δεν θα έχανα αυτό”.

Most of us are used to reacting to arguments by using “You” statements as this happens unconsciously from our wounded parts that feel activated and try to defend and protect ourselves by “accusing” the other person. ⁣
⁣
When we take a moment to identify which parts are being activated during an argument, we can then better communicate them to the other person and invite them to do the same. This helps us to focus on the actual issue rather than going around in circles of defensiveness with no resolution. ⁣💫
⁣

Συνήθως όταν δεν μπορούμε να συγχωρήσουμε κάποιον, είναι γιατί πιστεύουμε ότι με τον να μην τον συγχωρήσουμε, έτσι προστατεύουμε το πληγωμένο κομμάτι του εαυτού μας που επηρεάστηκε από την αλληλεπίδραση μαζί του και φοβόμαστε πως εάν τον συγχωρήσουμε θα σημαίνει ότι κατεβάζουμε τις άμυνες μας και εκθέτουμε τον εαυτό μας στο να πληγωθούμε πάλι. - Διαβάστε τη συνέχεια του νέου μου άρθρου για την συγχώρεση εδώ ⤵️

Συγχώρεση – Τι είναι αυτό που μας δυσκολεύει στο να συγχωρήσουμε; - Όμορφη Ζωή Της Στέφης Δασκαλοπούλου - Συνήθως όταν δεν μπορούμε να συγχωρήσουμε κάποιον, είναι γιατί πιστεύουμε ότι με τον να μην τον συγχωρήσουμε, έτσι προστατεύουμε το πληγ....

If you often find yourself critising a behaviour or a certain way that you are feeling, this is most likely getting in your way of actually bringing the change that you desire. By shaming and judging ourselves, we are putting a lot of pressure on our system and we often end up in freeze mode.

Our inner world needs to be witnessed, embraced, and understood to move forward with less resistance and more ease.

For ways to work with me check the options in the link below:

https://www.evniacoaching.com/my-services

These two are the most common reasons as to why we might find it difficult to navigate boundaries in our relationships.

In example no.1, when we explore the trigger that doesn't let us communicate or hold the boundary, support these parts in us that feel this way and help them update with new information, we will grow our inner capacity to feel safe to express ourselves and hold the boundary in a loving way.

In example no.2, when we realise that we are the ones who are in control of the boundary, we will stop depending on other people's actions for us to feel respected and safe.