bewithmefrombirth

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The sensitive period for order is a desire for consistency and repetition, which usually presents between the ages of two and four.

During this time babies and children are striving to sort out and categorise all their experiences, but as a result brings a whole new set of challenges for parents and teachers.
Suddenly, your easy-going child is insistent that the stripes on his socks line up with each other.
Suddenly, the cup that's in the dishwasher becomes the only cup your child could drink from at dinner time without a complete meltdown.

Children thrive with routine and predictability throughout childhood, but children in the Sensitive Period to Order don't just benefit from order: they demand it.

They crave this routine, predictability and order in their environment because it provides them with a sense of structure and a safe base from which they explore everything else in the constantly changing (and big) world.

Disruption to a child’s sense of order, such as changes to their bedtime routine, exposure to unfamiliar places and people, can be upsetting.
The “terrible twos” are often exaggerated reactions to small disruptions in order that is not perceived by adults.

Many parents don’t realise their children have this innate need for order because they watch their little ones behave in ways that seem anything but orderly!
But know that your child's need for order comes from a deep developmental drive to understand and master the world around them. They are not doing this for attention or to annoy you. They are driven to influence their world.

By supporting and satisfying this need when it arises, you can both decrease the tantrums that might otherwise result and increase your understanding of your child.

💞 New motherhood is incredibly vulnerable.

💛 You are going through massive physical and emotional changes and taking care of a newborn—it's natural to second guess yourself and have some doubts. So when (well-intentioned) people start giving you all kinds of advice it can sometimes feel like they know better than you.

💕But no one knows your baby like you do.💕

🧡So listen to what they have to say (or don't), but ultimately—you have to trust yourself.

❤You are allowed (and encouraged) to listen to your gut. You may be very new at this, but you possess profound wisdom.

Don't forget, Doulas do not give advice. We work together with the experts - YOU ❤

My doula hands are here for you, with a listening ear, always. 🤝🏼👂🏼💕






This photo is so incredibly special, I have posted it before but just had to share it again. It shows the beautiful vulnerability of both my nephew and sister in the golden hour of birth 🥰

This simple yet powerful sentence summarises Dr.John Kennel's (founder of DONA International) perception of the importance of labour and postpartum support.
And I couldn't agree more 🙌🏼

Hiring a doula is invaluable and will only ever help a parent ...
⭐There are no negative side effects with this drug 🤗




The Doula Directory is the No1 place to find a professional doula. Head to their website to find a doula near you. ❤❤❤❤❤

MONTESSORI MONDAY

💫Observation is the key to supporting the development of your child.

🧐Anyone can absorb information from a book, an online course, an article, a paediatrician BUT if you pay attention and OBSERVE your child’s play, eating habits, sleeping habits, and social habits, you may learn many new things about their development. This, in turn, will allow you to reflect on how you might best support them on their journey through childhood. ✌🏼

🧐While trying to engage with our children, it can be easy to fall into patterns in which we begin directing their play.
👉🏼Every once in a while, sit back and watch as your child plays. You may notice them using their toys in surprising ways, and this may give you insight to their interests and maturity.
🧐Similarly, it can be tempting to jump in and help any time your child spills something, falls down, or struggles to do something.
👉🏼Instead of rushing to the rescue, WAIT, see if their struggle turns into a need for help, or if they figure it out alone.

🧐Keep in mind that sometimes hard work takes a lot of effort and completing a hard task creates a great feeling of pride around it.
👉🏼While watching your child, keep an eye out for things that might unnecessarily cause difficulty, for example, your child will fully feel the satisfaction of completing a puzzle as long as none of the pieces are missing.
👉🏼They will build self esteem from their achievements as long as they are the ones who get to complete every step.

🧐 So when your child is playing or engaged in a task, try to get down on their level and watch.
👉🏼Are they concentrated?
👉🏼What is it that's drawing them in?
🧐Give them all the time they need to explore, repeat and try something new.
👉🏼Remember that your child has their own process and that the activity is fulfilling a need within them, even if you don't understand what that need is yet.

🤫Quietly retreat and observe from a distance or leave them to work alone.

🧐Watching to see what our children are capable of and nurturing their independence is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.💞

✌🏼 Slow down, observe, and enjoy those moments. 🙌🏼

😇The "good job" comment which seems to roll off the tongues of parents, teachers, and by-standers is said with good intentions, but gives very little acknowledgement of what went into accomplishing the "job." Similar to every child getting a trophy whether the team wins or loses, this empty praise may discourage children from trying new activities at which they might fail. They also may get an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement.

👉🏼The adult becomes the judge, and motivation becomes external rather than internal.

👉🏼This "conditional parenting" teaches children to behave in a certain way in order to be loved. It becomes another method of control, just like punishment.

⭐It's more meaningful to have adults understand a child's feelings and communicate appreciation of the effort and natural hard work involved in learning.
⭐ Practice, trial and error, and persistence in the face of failure help your child's brain develop ❤

👉🏼The term "bounce back" really just needs to go👈🏻
There is this assumption in our society that the moment you have a baby, everything returns to normal — your waistline, your kitchen counters, your s*x life. And when it inevitably doesn't, you feel bad about yourselves, like you have somehow failed.

🔥My dear warrior, nothing about you is failing in any way. It can be hard to come to terms with all the ways your life is different than it used to be—and you are allowed to have feelings about that. But guilt should not be one of those feelings.

❤YOU ARE A GODDESS! Look at everything you have done, and are doing! You are not going to bounce back because you are way too busy soaring forward. Look at your wings! You don't need to bounce anywhere!

 

❤HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMAN’S DAY🔥
 
Maria Montessori (1870-1952) was a truly exceptional woman. She revolutionised education and gave us a clear framework to understand our children and to nurture their development.
 
SWIPE RIGHT to read some of my favourite Montessori quotations.

What a woman!! 🔥❤🥰✌🏼

❤️

⭐Connecting not conditioning⭐

"If you don't brush your teeth right now, then no iPad!"

(Of course, you can replace brushing teeth with any task you'd like your child to complete and the iPad with any other object or privilege.)

Does this sound familiar? 🙋🏼‍♀️ We are all guilty I'm sure!
👉🏼But do you mean well? Of course!
👉🏼Does it sometimes work? Sure, maybe.
👉🏼Have you asked your child many times and nothing else seems to work? Yes!

🤓Even so, when you use objects as a condition to get compliance from your child, what you're really saying is that the object has more authority than you do.

💪🏽There is no need to give an object or a privilege any of your authority.

👉🏼Your child is not fully aware of the benefits or consequences of their behaviour, but you are. You have the experience, the perspective, the know how- and that's exactly why you're in charge (not the iPad).

⭐Next time you're caught in a power struggle with your child …pause, breathe, do your best to stay calm and try this:

"If you can't do this on your own …I'll help you. That's what I'm here for." 🤗

❤ Focus on connecting and not conditioning.

Welcome to the BeWithMeFromBirth’s Library (well a very small portion of it) 🤓Happy Word Book Day!📚

👉🏼Ever since starting my own business I've wanted to make sure I continued my learning and broadened my perspectives on all things birth and postnatal – and how better to do this than to read read read! 📖

🤝🏼I love to let clients (and friends and family) know about the books I have and love too, so if they ever want to get their hands on a copy, they can. Sometimes it’s nice just to glance over a book and pick out what you want from it, before moving onto the next or buying it yourself. So holla if you want a new read 🙌🏼
 
👉🏼I strongly believe that parenting books, of any kind, should be taken lightly, gently and read with care. Basing your whole life on how one book tells you to parent/live is not advisable. BUT... if you read it, digest it, take what you want from it, try things out and see what works for yourself? Then that’s wonderful! KNOWLEDGE is absolute POWER.
Just don’t forget YOU are the expert. YOU know your baby and your family.
 
📚Seeing as its I have also included not only some of my doula books but some of my favourite books I have read over the year or am about to read too.

📚I would LOVE to know what you are reading at the moment? Comment below! 👇🏽
And please share some recommendations - you can never have too many!  
 
🤓Don’t forget to try and support those small books shops too, when you can, and of course explore the wonders of charity shops when they open!
Try EBAY or World of Books for second hand books and Hive.co.uk allow you to donate some of what you spend there to an independent bookshop of your choice. You can also get some goodies from

🤔 Before having a baby, it is next to impossible to imagine what it will really be like. So if you find that your pre-made plans are suddenly not the right fit anymore, that is completely okay 👌🏼😊

🤷🏽‍♀️Maybe you planned to return to work after maternity leave but now want nothing more than to stay home.

🤷🏼‍♀️Maybe you planned to stay home, but now find yourself yearning to be back at work.

So much can change now—your relationships, your priorities, your goals. And that is all okay. 💞

⭐Be sure to check in with yourself from time-to-time to make sure that you are living the life that feels right and works for you. Because it is okay to pivot.⭐

My doula hands are here for you 🤝🏼

⭐MONTESSORI MONDAY⭐

🤓In Montessori classrooms, children are free to repeat an activity for as long as they like and as often as they like. It is this repetition that will eventually allow the child to achieve mastery in the chosen area. However, the idea of what repetition means within the context of brain development is fascinating 🧡
👉🏼There is much more to repetition than simply to master an activity or task.
👉🏼There is the reinforcement of the skill and the increased opportunity to succeed as the child continues to practice the activity. 
👉🏼Through the repeated task, a child also allows herself to make mistakes and therefore set herself problems which must be solved; If one approach doesn’t work, she will adjust slightly and try another.
👉🏼 It's through repeating and repeating those choices - that movement - that a child will perfect the skill they are working on 💪🏽💓

❤Montessori noted that when children finish these periods of uninterrupted concentration and activity they appear refreshed, happy, satisfied, and even joyous. She came to understand that while their attention is focused, children are developing and organizing their brains and structuring their perceptions of the world.

💪🏽Children have a strong inner need to do this and derive great satisfaction from it.💞

🏠In a home, we also need to respect this need for repetition.
👉🏼We can't rotate toys too quickly.
👉🏼We need to keep a routine and rhythm for our home.
👉🏼 We should avoid forcing a child to share before they are done with a toy.
👉🏼Allow and respect repetition.
👉🏼Try to create opportunities for repetition and then give your child the time to do.  
👉🏼 Stand back and observe💓

What have you seen your child repeat over and over again?🥴 Was it hard for you to stand back and let them repeat it?😬