Kindred Families - Positive Parenting

How would you like your child to respond when provoked by another child?

If all we do is correct our kid's misbehaviour when it happens to us, it can backfire when they're on the receiving end of it. They learn to copy our reactions - whether it be getting cross or needing a consequence issued before they can move on.

So how can we teach them ways of standing up for themselves? By modelling it.

Read this article on my 3-step process to handling misbehaviour directed at me:

https://www.kindred-families.com/blog/how-to-handle-misbehaviour-directed-at-you

When all the parenting advice tells you to name all the feelings, what do you do when it doesn't work? 💛

https://www.kindred-families.com/blog/when-validating-emotions-isnt-enough

If Disney's Encanto and Turning Red have made an impact on you, it may be because they touch on your experience of adolescence, cultural beliefs or generational pressure.

It says so much that these movies are being made for the mainstream. In Turning Red, 13 year-old Mei wrestles with the central question, can I be loved by my mother and be myself?

One thing I love about the film is the empathy given to Mei's Mum and her own oppressive childhood. We're moving beyond one-dimensional baddies to back stories that invite compassion.

To me, both of these movies are really about the power of listening.

As parents, we spend SO much time explaining, praising and correcting our kids. As a professional 'listener', I can tell you it takes conscious practise to learn how to really hear someone.

Our kids need us to actively listen more than any other form of communication. If you find that really hard, it might be because you also need someone to hear you 💛

Clients often tell me they feel insecure about their parenting when trying to set boundaries. I hope you find this useful 💛

https://www.kindred-families.com/blog/how-to-set-boundaries-without-a-fight

How to Set Boundaries without a Fight — Kindred Families "She won't let me leave the room before she's asleep." "I had to carry him the whole time." "He hates holding my hand to cross the road." Whenever I hear myself or a client using phrases like this, I pause. They're clues as to who's holding the power in these situation

When you help yourself, you help everyone around you. Three prompts for self care this Valentine's Day ♥

Shout out to Playhood for their family first approach to childcare 👏

Any anxious parents out there? Let me tell you, I get it.

For me it's cleaning. When i'm stressed, that's what you'll find me doing. I can be that mum who's wiping paint off the tuff tray while my child is still painting 🤦‍♀️

The tunnel vision that comes with anxiety is there to keep us safe. We're so focused on protecting ourselves from overwhelm, but often at the cost of our creativity and presence.

It can feel disappointing to want to be a patient and playful parent but trying to access that space feels like wading through mud.

When we think about anxiety as an energy that needs to move, we can be intentional about where to direct it. I've found that thinking of something I'm grateful for almost instantly opens up my perspective.

I'll also stop to focus my eyes gently around the room I'm in - literally relaxing the tunnel vision. Remembering to breathe is always a good one 😁

In coaching we take a more preventative approach with anxiety but it never hurts to have some tools in the moment 💛

Starting a family 3.5 years ago and working as a web designer, I would never have thought that professionally I'd land here, as a Master Parent Coach. I was so ready for a change and at 37 it was time to use my psychology degree.

As anyone in mental health knows, there'll be plenty more training to come but for now I'm taking stock.

This course really drove home for me that we have to support parents in exactly the same way we're recommending children be treated. Putting judgement aside, setting realistic goals and respecting their need for control over the process.

It's incredible what parents are able to achieve with their children when supported in this way. I'll never get tired of witnessing it 💛

I've been thinking about how easy it is to come across as dogmatic in my line of work.

Those of us in parenting education have a passion for helping children by helping those closest to them. More recently, we've been using parenting labels to make things more accessible - positive, gentle, conscious, responsive... 🎗

Some of us find the words helpful in searching for resources, or it feels important to identify with a particular approach and feel like we're doing a good job of it (I know I do).

I want to be mindful to not add more pressure to parents who are already overwhelmed with expectation. Believing there's one way to handle a situation with your kid can leave you feeling less than confident if you haven't hit the mark or didn't know what you 'should' have done. So I think we need be really careful about implying there's a right way.

Parenting ultimately is a relationship made up of separate parts. Every person, situation and interaction is unique. The way those individuals get the best out of each other won't look the same family to family, even if we subscribe to the same principles. I have clients and friends who all embody positive parenting, but they express it in beautifully different ways.

The way I see parenting is a bit like a lego house. The baseplate is always the same - the core philosophy - but the house itself can look any damn way it likes.

This is probably why I love coaching. I want clients to find their version of positive parenting based on the strengths, challenges, values and personalities inside their home 💛

To the parents who feel like they're constantly falling out with their child, I know how frustrating that can be.

When you're knee-deep in a conflict pattern it can be really hard to see a way out.

You want to know WHY they're behaving that way.

You need OPTIONS to steer things away from arguing every time.

You want to BELIEVE you can be in a great relationship with your child.

You want to know HOW to support their confidence and resilience to set them up for life.

You need SUPPORT to offload some of the stress that's causing you to lose your temper often.

Next year could be the year to turn things around. To be the parent you want to be remembered as 💛

My 10-week programme is designed for you. It's actionable and personalised. There are payment plans and all the accountability you need to stay on track until new ways of parenting become second nature. Your partner is welcome to join at no extra cost.

Book your free December discovery call here for late Jan/early Feb start: https://calendly.com/kindredfamilies/parent-coaching-discovery-call

If you follow conscious parenting accounts like this one but sometimes find it hard to apply the ideas at home, read this:

When Parenting Accounts Aren’t Helping — Kindred Families Parents often tell me in our first conversation that they’ve been following conscious parenting accounts for some time. There are some brilliant resources out there - you’ll find a handy list here - and as a parent myself I’ve gained so much from that daily drip feed of positive parenting.

Sometimes I get asked: "Why does my child get even MORE upset when I name their feelings during a meltdown?"

It can be disheartening to try emotion coaching and feel like it's not working.

Here are a few things to consider and try until your child is ready to hear words 💛

Thought of the week: A parent with young children today can expect at least 45 years of their life in an adult-to-adult relationship with their children. That's MANY more years of connecting as grown ups than as parent to child (where the child is capable of living independently ♥).

The work we put in now will build the foundation for the friendship we long for in the years to come 💛