Myles Stinton - The Rekindling

I’ve been off the socials for a while. Last week we spent four nights in Sitges, and although I hadn’t planned a full break, I realised it was time to practice what I preach.

Holidays are sacred spaces - a chance to think, breathe, and reset - so I quietly stepped away from social media, emails, and even my blog. And you know what? The world kept turning.

The harder part has been coming back. I’ve been home five days and still haven’t posted. When we break a consistent habit, it can be surprisingly hard to restart. So I’m easing in, letting the momentum build again.

If you’ve come back from a break and are struggling to find your rhythm, you’re in good company. Here’s to picking it up - gently.

Hey, Guys
As the focus of my work is gay men in midlife, I created a quick quiz to get you thinking about where you are now and how things are going. Link below. Take the quiz and see what it tells you about where you are now! xx

Where Are You Now? This interactive funnel has been created with involve.me

The last time I walked this field - and it can’t have been that long ago - it was just tilled earth. Now the corn stands over seven feet tall.

The city boy in me still marvels at how quickly the landscape shifts round here - how fast things grow, then get harvested, how nothing stays the same for long.

There’s real comfort in that: a quiet reminder that everything is in motion. What is now won’t be for long - maybe not even for days.

Us g**s don’t always do patience well - we want results yesterday. But the fields move at their own pace, and there’s nothing we can do to rush them. It’s a good practice for us to observe.

That’s why I try to be present. To notice the corn when it’s high, and to marvel again when the fields return to earth.

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I know it’s just algorithms.
And I know it says more about what I give my attention to than anything else.
But so often, my Reels are full of gay men living their best life. Looking fabulous with no shirts on. Posing on the beach. Surrounded by a seemingly never-ending social circle.

And it’s wonderful. It’s joyous.
And sometimes… it’s incredibly overwhelming.

Of course we all want to show ourselves at our best—we’ve all done it. But if someone else’s “best” makes you feel less than enough, then maybe it’s time to take stock.
Is social media serving you?

Most of life—like 99% of it—is made up of the small stuff.
The morning coffee.
The dog walk.
The email you’ve been putting off.
The laundry that won’t do itself.

Those moments don’t make the grid.
But that’s where real joy lives.

So if you felt quiet joy in something today—something small, maybe even boring to someone else—then you’re already winning.

Take it all with a pinch of salt.
You are enough.
Your life matters—even if you’re not looking fabulous shirtless or dancing in Torremolinos (which I know I wouldn’t like… but somehow still feel I’m missing out!).

If you found pleasure in the mundane today—in a detail only you noticed—I’m celebrating you.

Sometimes, the shift you need isn’t more advice - it’s a different question.

I’m grateful for these words from a recent client
💪🏻🙏🏼
If you’re ready to talk things through with someone who gets it, it starts with a (free) welcome conversation.
Link’s in my bio.

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This week’s blog is about slow living as a way of staying in the moment.

Please take a look and if you like it, please do subscribe! That way you’ll get the blog every Thursday delivered directly to your inbox! Xx

Housekeeping for the Soul A midlife reflection on chaos, clarity, and slow living

Out for the dog walk this morning before one of my favourite kinds of workdays - a Bespoke Day with a client.

It’s a full-immersion experience: we cover the same ground I usually explore over a longer coaching programme, but condensed into one focused, powerful day.

It’s intense (in the best way), and the results are always exciting to witness - new clarity, breakthroughs, forward motion.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or ready for a reset, this kind of deep-dive day might be just what you need.
Drop me a message if you’re curious- I’ll tell you more.
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I’ve just posted this weeks blog. It’s a response to a re-read of The Velvet Rage and looks at how we can use personal to develop to move from rage to passion.

Have a read an let me know what you think…
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From Velvet Rage to Quiet Power What gay shame doesn't want you to know about growth...

As gay men in midlife, many of us learned early on to shrink, shape-shift, or stay silent just to feel safe.

We read the room. We played the part.
And sometimes we still do - even when the room no longer fits the person we’ve become.

But the truth is you don’t need to explain your growth.

You don’t need to justify your joy.

And you certainly don’t need to seek permission for wanting more.

If you’ve outgrown the room… find a new one.

Or better yet: build your own.

👇 Tell me: what kind of room are you ready to walk into next?

Things start to change when you truly accept this fact:

Most of the things keeping you stuck right now aren’t external.
They’re stories. Old ones.
Ones you’ve rehearsed for years without even realising.

Stories like:
👉 “It’s too late for me.”
👉 “I should just be grateful for what I’ve got.”
👉 “I’ll feel ready one day… just not yet.”

I know, because I’ve lived them too.

But here’s the truth no one tells you:
If you want something different in this next chapter - new energy, new direction, more connection, more pride in how you’re showing up - you’re going to have to rewrite the script.

Not overnight. Not perfectly.
But definitely starting now.

Swipe through for 5 mindset shifts every gay man in midlife needs to start making 👇

And if any of these land with you…
I’m here to talk it through and make a plan for change.

We don’t shrink here.
We Rekindle.

Friday mornings have become one of my favourite times of the week. I take the dogs out early, and there’s something about the light, the quiet, the rhythm of it all that just feels… good.

But I still get a strange flicker of guilt sometimes. Like part of me is surprised that this is where I now find joy.

As gay men, so much of our early life was spent chasing something exciting. Trying to make life feel bigger, louder, more impressive. It was our way of getting through the space we were in, where we hid our truth and lived smaller, contained lives. And yet, here we are, all these years later, finding peace in a dog walk.

I’m learning to let that be enough. To quiet the voice that says I should want more.

Because actually, this is the ‘more’.

Happy Friday, friends. I hope you find joy in the mundane today.

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