30/05/2022
🦩I get that you don’t want this to be true. I get that in your mind, it naturally makes sense that you move toward someone you’re attracted to and away from someone you’re not.
🦩When we’ve also been told that great love stories usually start with a love at first sight feeling it just strengthens the trust we have in our need to move toward our attraction.
🦩What we have to be really careful of though, and what helps is to notice the pattern of what situation that attraction draws us toward.
🦩Is it always someone who is emotionally unavailable?
🦩Is it always someone who’s obsessed with you for a little while and then disappears into thin air?
🦩Is it always someone you put on a pedestal only to have them withdraw from you?
🦩These are very important questions to begin asking.
🦩What I can tell you is that attraction is not a sign someone is ‘the one’.
🦩It might feel that way, sure. But it is not.
🦩There are so many reasons we are attracted to someone and if you’re constantly attracted to unavailable, distant partners that withdraw,
it’s unlikely your attraction has anything to do with compatibility and everything to do with an unhealthy subconscious modelling of love.
🦩And without changing that, you will always be attracted to people that really are NOT the one.
🤍 Want to learn how to change it? DM me for opportunities to work with me now. Spaces open x x
14/03/2022
🦩I know when you feel rejected sometimes it’s easier to believe that the person involved is vindictive and calculated.
🦩The truth that most people are unconscious to their actions is far less of an appealing story.
🦩And this isn’t to say that their behaviour is something you have to like or accept or to say that some people don’t do really fu**ed things.
🦩It’s just to say that most people are operating from a place of doing the best they can with what they have.
🦩Love bombing (the act of showering someone with love really intensely for a few weeks or months and then disappearing into the abyss really suddenly),
Is primarily born out of childhood wounding. An act of creating fantasy to attach to the perfect relationship,
🦩unfortunately like most childhood wounds that go unchecked, they end up sabotaging the thing they want most, to be truly loved,
In this case the inevitable demise of the relationship, as your imperfect humanness begins to crumble the perfection of fantasy…
🦩The love bomber not skilled to deal with uncomfortable emotion operates in survival and moves away from the thing causing discomfort.
🦩Only to repeat the pattern with someone else.
🦩For you, the one that is often hurt by this pattern, the question you must ask is what unconscious pattern allows me to be swept up in the fantasy too?
🦩Or to be drawn toward someone like this?
🦩Is there a more grounded place I can learn to sit?
♥️ For help with this DM me for early bird spots for my new group program 🦩
10/03/2022
🦩Read that again.
🦩It’s very easy to think that being rejected over and over by people when we ask them to choose us is an indisputable sign of our lack of worth.
🦩I get it. I used to believe it. I’d be like - oh look another one that I thought was going to work out just dropped me.
🦩I must be broken, I must be flawed.
🦩It was actually made worse by people saying - but you’re a catch, why are you single?
🦩I was like, well f**k me, I haven’t got a clue, because I didn’t really know why no one wanted to be with me.
🦩It actually terrified me because it drew me to the only conclusion I had - I must be broken.
I’m not normal. I’m somehow defective. Somehow everyone else has this figured out but I don’t. I’m not good enough.
🦩It’s a fitting conclusion but it was hugely flawed and wrong.
🦩If I’d known then what I know now, I’d know all that it was showing me, was that I had a deeply ingrained psychological & subconscious belief that love equated to struggle and ultimate rejection.
🦩These feelings were more familiar to me than the feelings of ease, availability and being chosen.
🦩My subconscious had no way of understanding love any differently because it had never known any different.
🦩I implore you, if you’re feeling like you’re not worthy, to re evaluate that conclusion. And do whatever it takes to seek the truth.
♥️ Pre-sale for me new course is open now, DM me for detes xx
09/03/2022
🦩They don’t want a relationship but then behave like they’re in one with you… kinda?
🦩Confusing af, I know.
🦩Like they’re behaving like my boyfriend but then the moment you bring up relationship they run for the hills.
🦩Often we can spend weeks, months or even years trying to figure out what is going on.
🦩I don’t like to give out rules for dating but I will give you one here - if someone does this, don’t spend anymore time trying to decode it.
🦩Flat out ask them…
🦩More often than not, what you’ll find is someone who doesn’t want to be responsible for a relationship but enjoys its benefits…
🦩Read : “I don’t want to have to consider your needs at any point in this relationship, but I want to take what I need”.
🦩If you’re happy with this, fine. But I have a sneaky suspicion you crave and deserve to be in a relationship where your wants and needs are considered,
🦩Where they take responsibility for their actions and their emotional world and are willing to step up and be a partner with you.
🦩If this is the case, don’t settle for this type of relationship because there is something a lot better out there for you.
♥️ DM me now for pre-sale of my new group program… I can help you understand your relationships and how to get more from them 🤩 it’s exciting!
02/03/2022
🦩It’s very easy to project outwards and spend time pointing the finger.
🦩What’s harder, but what’s necessary, is to look inwards.
🦩When we spend all day trying to figure out the emotionally unavailable person in front of us,
🦩we’re missing the biggest red flag of all,
- why we are triggered in this space and why we are still here, investing time and energy.
🦩There is so much to be learnt from this inward process.
🦩So much, that it can ultimately transform your life entirely.
🦩Not just in the relationships you will have in the future, but the relationship you have to yourself.
🦩Most people are more comfortable not looking inward and because of this repeat cycles of the same experience over and over.
🦩The single best thing I did in my life was decide to be brave and start questioning why I would be continually obsessing and investing in people that didn’t invest in me.
♥️DM me for ways to work together in March and April! I have some really exciting stuff coming up 😬 First in best dressed x
17/02/2022
🦩I can’t emphasise this enough.
🦩Relationships get lost in the things that remain unsaid,
…in the anxiety that comes from not honouring how you really feel,
…in the questions that never got asked,
…in the times we assumed instead of communicated,
…all because we felt the discomfort of doing those things and moved away from it.
🦩Having the relationship you want requires going to the uncomfortable places.
And not just going there but also communicating what’s happening in that discomfort.
🦩When we don’t do these things we live out the relationship in our head.
🦩They live out an entirely different relationship in their head.
🦩And neither of us truly see each other or connect in any real way.
🦩To be in healthy relationship requires bravery without guarantee.
Which is an epic amount of bravery.
♥️DM me now to work with me 121 in March x
10/02/2022
🦩People like to talk about manifestation but I feel like they don’t really understand how it works.
🦩So I’m going to give you a little example of how our beliefs shape our reality …
🦩When we believe certain things like “they’re out of my league”,
it will affect our behaviours and choices around this person.
🦩Tell them how I really feel ? Hell no! They wouldn’t be interested and I’ll scare them off!
🦩Or if we are dating this person and they do something that upsets us…
🦩Tell them that? Absolutely not! This person is clearly in the right and I just need to get over it so they don’t leave.
🦩Haven’t heard from them in a while? I’m not going to reach out because if they wanted to they would!
🦩The reality we begin to create is one in which someone exists on a pedestal and we show up passively,
🦩passively existing, waiting for them to make all the choices, all the moves, take all the risks. Waiting for them to consistently CHOOSE US so we feel good enough.
🦩The first problem with this? It’s not very attractive to someone who wants a partner that participates actively in the relationship and owns their feelings.
🦩The second problem? It’s super attractive to the partner that likes control and not being emotionally challenged in any way … read emotionally unavailable.
🦩Belief change is imperative in this work. Absolutely imperative.
🧡If you relate and you want some help with this, DM me for the last spot in my group The Self Work! We start Monday 💫
07/02/2022
🦩A lot of us were not taught the skill set required to have good relationships.
🦩Most people lack the skills but expect they ‘should’ be able to have good relationships.
🦩This is why we must be ready to look at ourselves if we want different experiences in relationship.
🦩It’s not about finding ‘the one’. It’s more about looking at the gaps in our understanding of how we are showing up to create what we’re experiencing.
🦩The Self Work starts 14th December and I teach you exactly how to develop this skill set. DM for final places 🧡
02/02/2022
🦩I will be 35 this year which seems so crazy to me.
🦩I wanted to reflect on the last 5 years of my journey where I learnt the most about myself and my relationships.
🦩Here are the things I’ve learned which changed my life irreversibly :
🧡 A lot of people don’t naturally know how to have healthy relationships.
🧡Not all relationships are equal, people aren’t ahead in life if they’re in one and you’re not.
🧡Many of us have subconscious patterns that sabotage our ability to have a relationship let alone have healthy relationships.
🧡Because of this, I suffered for years incapable of having healthy relationships and feeling like no one I wanted, wanted me.
🧡Understanding my subconscious, changed my life forever.
🧡Self-worth is tied to our choice of relationships.
🧡Knowing how to navigate insecurities and your subconscious is vital to the health of your relationships.
🧡Quite literally, the most important relationship we have is with ourselves as it dictates every other relationship we will have.
🧡Nothing is fixed. You can ALWAYS change your experience of self worth and relationships.
🧡Asking for help in this area is THE biggest and most life changing thing I ever did.
🧡Starting this coaching business was the most soul aligning thing because I could finally help people with something I knew would change their lives … (I used to work in finance for those playing at home).
🦩If you ever need help in understanding why your relationships never work or you feel like you sabotage them, or you feel your confidence is low, please ask for help!
🦩even if it’s not from me 😉 ! But if it is, and you’re willing to commit to change then DM me and I will help show you what I’ve learned 🧡
Happy February! To all my beautiful people following along and learning. I am so grateful for you all! 🦩🦩🦩
01/02/2022
🦩Own that keenness in all it’s glory!
🦩When we hold back, we attract those that like us to hold back,
🦩When we hide what we really feel or mean, we can sabotage potential relationships.
🦩Be bold and proud. There is no amount of keenness that will put off someone who is also keen.
🦩Too often we’ve been told to stop being too keen, too much, too needy, too emotional.
🦩Too often those messages are hitting those of us who barely even know how to self express in the most basic way.
🦩We begin defining the basic level of self expression as “too X”,
🦩We have to self express and we have to do it boldly if we ever want our relationships to change!
🧡 Want help learning how? DM me for The Self Work Group - we go deep on all of this 🧡
02/03/2022
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