AWake Self Discovery

Did you know that root of all our problems can be broken down into either a lack of self knowledge or a lack of wisdom. I’m not including medical problems here, even though there is a school of thought that points to physiological ailments being a manifestation of the mind. This is why it is so important to live our lives in both self awareness and wisdom if we want to avoid the problems and stresses that many of us encounter far too often for comfort. As an afterthought, I’m going to add truth here as a separate entity (you’ll see why in my later posts) but it is in fact a part of wisdom.

Think back to some of your biggest headaches that you’ve had the misfortune of experiencing in your life in the past, or you may be going through something at this very moment. How did you get there/here? Could it have been avoided? Could you have dealt with it better?

I’m going to be asking a few people to provide me with info about their biggest life stresses to date to show you how either lack of self awareness or lack of wisdom played a part in either creating their problem in the first place or made the situation worse. So look out for further postings.

In the meantime I’ll provide an example of my own:

Looking back I can say that the biggest stress I’ve had in my life for many years was waking up early in the morning to go and spend 8 hours everyday doing something that I absolutely detested. When I found myself unemployed, I’d end up applying for similar jobs because I knew I stood a better chance of getting those jobs, only to end up in the same situation, always aware of the fact that time was ticking and I wasn’t getting any younger or any more fulfilled. Man… I hated those days.

Why did I find myself in that situation? 1. because I didn’t take the time out to know myself so I was not making decisions aligned with my true self, but how could I when I didn’t know who I was. And 2. I was not living in wisdom. If I was I would not have applied for the same type of jobs over and over again. I would have taken a step back and given myself options. Back then I didn’t believe I had any options I needed to fulfil my basic needs. But I did have options, I just didn’t see them.

The thing with options is that they may not seem like the best choice in the short term, but life isn’t about the short term, it’s about ‘in the long-run’. Let’s simplify this a bit; you’re feeling well stressed, you want that ugly feeling in your gut to go away, you just want some release, so you reach for the bottle…yes, you feel much better now, or you reach for the food…yes, you feel much better now, or you reach for nothing by wallowing in your self pity, separating yourself from everyone, or the opposite, needing to have someone around you all the time and relying on them too heavily to comfort you and take away the pain. Some people turn to s*x thinking those few moments of ecstasy will numb the pain.

All of the above will work in the short term but what about tomorrow, next week, next year? When you’re now an alchi and you can’t work and you’ve spent all you money on booze or you’ve put on so much weight that you can’t stand the sight of yourself in the mirror, or you find yourself feeling lonely because you’ve pushed all you friends away, or you find that you have no friends because you’ve exhausted them with your neediness or that you’ve become so desensitised to the s*xual experience that you need more and more and never feel fulfilled? Short-term gain is long term pain - a bit of wisdom there for you.

Now back to the point of options. When looking at options it isn’t wise to dismiss the one’s that might make life a bit more difficult in the short-term.

In my example, one of my options (in hindsight) would have been to just leave work and live peasant-ly until I sorted myself out. I would then have been able to move forwards in a stronger position making better life decisions to live a more fulfilled life. I do realise that not everyone would be able to do this though especially if they have little mouths to feed and a mortgage to maintain. But the point I’m making here is that we all have options all the time and not to be put off if they might seem like even more stress in the short-term.

A few things to keep in mind here: if you are stressed you are less likely to see your options in all their glory, if you do not know yourself, you will not be able to identify the right options for you (because you won’t know who that is) and if you do not live in wisdom, you will not be able to choose correctly.

I have designed and currently deliver two programmes for self progression in both women over 40 (reset) and teens (Time Out).

In the Reset programme I take women over 40 on a journey of empowerment where together we assess how they feel about their lives so far, before moving onto revealing their true identity.

We then move on to discover where they would like to be and identify any obstacles in getting there. This is followed by an all inclusive 'adjustment' coaching period for those who require it.

So far, all of the women I have coached have left my programme feeling more enlightenment, love and respect for themselves, a greater sense of inner strength, and better able to find solutions to their problems. This programme brings women closer to self actualisation.

In the Time Out programme, I work with teens to enable them to see that they are individuals with rights to respect from others (even though they might not receive it) as well as from themselves.

I enable them to see themselves for who they are with all their limitations and flaws, and to accept what they find as being 'enough'.

We also look at 'consequences' inline with them learning to provide respect for themselves.

In order to accept, love and respect something, we first have to know what it is we are accepting, loving and respecting (Yvonne Bailey, 2023).

If you are a woman 40+ and would like to join my Facebook group: Warriors of life restart your life better and stronger, please feel free to use the link below - 'United we stand, united we fight'!

If this group isn't for you, it might be for someone you know - everything happens for a reason.

https://lnkd.in/eGmnT8sM

I thought I'd start with a short post about 'failure' as the fear of failing- in it's many guises - seems to be the biggest culprit in holding people back from progression:

Not asking for a pay raise or applying for a better position because of fear of being turned down and failing to secure the raise or position.

Not asking someone out on a date due to fear of rejection.

Not doing a video for a social media platform because of fear of being criticised and failing to make a good impression on viewers.

Not being able to say 'No' to a request you feel strongly against or speaking your mind, because of fear of failing to be a good friend/person.

The list goes on...fear, fear, and more bloody fear, stopping people from self actualising. NO MORE.

One way of combating fear is by knowing both fear and ourselves. By facing fear head on, taking part in the battle of any feared imaginary scenario we can muster up and then assessing the mental experiences.

For many people, looking back on their mental experience is in no way as bad as they thought it would have been.

This exercise reduces the anxiety people may have towards a particular situation, in addition to enabling them to see a wider pool of possible solutions and responses.