Craig Fookes - Therapist, Coach & Hypnotherapist - The Mind Works

16 year olds get their GCSE results today.

27 years since I got mine and I've still not needed algebra.

Any day now, I'm sure...

If your teenagers get their results today, congratulate their EFFORT and HARD WORK.

Not the grades themselves. Here's why:-

We are not defined by grades or outcomes.

As soon as we receive praise or criticism for something that is outside of our control; then this sets us up for problems.

Whether we realise it or not, it can subtly start to become "I am not good enough, I can't do things, I'm not clever, other people are better than me" [etc] and all at a critical time in our psychological development when our brain is desperately trying to form our identity for adult life.

Whereas praise for the effort, regardless of the outcome, will always leaving feeling seen and understood.

This is a topic I am very passionate about.

(If you're interested in the psychology of this look up "growth mindset" by Carol Dweck)

Most weeks, someone will tell me how negatively they think about themselves because they "didn't do very well at school" or "didn't leave school with any/many qualifications" or is "thick because I can't do maths"

I can still do maths, I can still remember [some] algebra.

However, I (honestly) can't put a shelf up or essentially anything manual whatsoever.

And despite my first career being an Independent Financial Adviser. managing literally millions of pound of other peoples' money, the maths required to do this job (within the UK's largest industry) largely wasn't included in GCSE maths.

Nor was how to use a spreadsheet; which is a pretty useful work and life skill.

Whatever results our young people get today, they all did their best - we always do. Just sometimes we've got other things going on, or its not the right thing for us anyway.

Much love.

Craig

PS - An oxbow lake is a U-shaped body of water formed when a wide river bend, or meander, is cut off from the main channel.

This happens through continuous water erosion on the outer banks and sediment build up on the inner banks, which eventually forces the river to break straight through during a flood - not needed this piece of information in 27 years either

PPS - Although English language was pretty useful... thanks to my wonderful teacher (she follows this page, so better reign it in a bit, I don't want detention... again)

Not had much this much fun with a colander and a cardboard box for sometime, I can tell you.

Total eclipse

The View From The Afternoon

Excited!!! 😝

Burnout is real.

It is recognised by the World Health Organisation.

It isn’t the same as being tired, needing a break, or more motivation.

The stuff that we were once able to do becomes increasingly difficult.

It does not go away after normal sleep or rest, we can no longer command the mental or physical energy to do the things we used to do.

We then start to doubt and question ourselves, and may start to ask big existential type questions, like work, relationships and the “meaning of it all”

My opinion is - much of what we might call a “mid life crisis” is most likely burnout.

Also, those big existential questions when directed towards a partner can quickly escalate in to relationship problems and maybe even rupture and breakups.

It can be intolerably frustrating and depressing.

Recovery from burnout is complex, challenging and can take time and significant changes to many aspects of life.

It is very unlikely to be resolved by ashwagandha, magnesium glycinate, or collagen - regardless of what you may have seen on insta.

If you think you may be experiencing burnout, pop me a message and book a 30 mn free initial call and I’ll share some things that helped me in my recovery

☮️ & ❤️