10/09/2026
I wrote this for someone I care about deeply, on her birthday. She's young, and she's been through more than she should have had to. But when I read it back, I realized these are just the things I had to learn the hard way myself, and I wish someone had handed them to me sooner.
So here they are, in case one of them is the one you needed today.
1. Be kind to yourself. You are the only person you will go through your entire life with. You should be your own best friend.
2. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. That is just an opportunity to learn something you didn't know before.
3. Hold on to the people who lift you up, and be willing to let go of the ones pulling you down. The connections you make in life don't have to be permanent. Keep the ones that help you grow.
4. Believe in yourself as much as the people who love you already do. You can accomplish more than you think.
5. Never put limitations on yourself. The moment you do, you build the wall you'll spend your life trying to get past. Believe that you are limitless, and you are.
6. Selfless love, love that asks nothing back, is the highest form of love in the universe. Love will cost you. Almost all of it ends in loss, because one of us always goes first, and that grief is simply the price of having loved at all. It is worth paying. But that is very different from being made to suffer by the person you love. If someone cannot appreciate what you are giving them, let them go, and let them go with love. Love costs. It was never meant to wound you.
7. Sometimes fear is a reasonable response to something genuinely dangerous. Other times it is only doubt wearing danger's face. Learn to tell the difference. Fear is natural, but it can be overcome once you understand what you are actually facing.
8. Know what is right and proper in your life, and live by that code. Not to be rigid, not to judge, and not to hold anyone else to that same standard. But because every time you act against what you know is right, you sacrifice a little of who you are, and a little of your belief in yourself. Keep your compassion and your understanding soft, and hold yourself to your own high standard. Living with integrity gives you the strength you need to meet your challenges and accomplish what you set out to do.
9. Death is a necessary part of life, not separate from it. It teaches us to love while we still can. It gives life its urgency, and reminds us to tell the people who matter how we feel, before we run out of time.
I spent a lot of years judging myself too harshly and punishing myself for not measuring up to the expectations of others, instead of believing in my own path. If you are doing that right now, I would start with number one.