11/08/2024
6 YEARS AGO TODAY, I GOT MARRIED… but I’m no longer married.
And unless you’ve been here for a while, you might not know that.
It makes sense - I’m happy, confident, and two years into a new relationship, don’t have children of my own.
But this was my life 6 years ago… and a year later it wasn’t.
In 2019, after less than a year of marriage, I separated from my ex.
We had a house to sell, cars to sort out, and a dog too. We also had our delayed honeymoon happening RIGHT. THEN.
I was back to live at my Mum’s house, in the same room I’d lived in as a teen.
The relationship *WASN’T* awful.
It was hard to explain because there was no obvious “reason,” just an intuitive knowing that I wasn’t in the right place.
That didn’t make it any easier.
Having that difficult conversation was hard enough.
Then there were the practicalities to sort out.
Oh, and then there’s telling everyone.
I remember bursting into tears in the car park when a colleague made a reference to “driving back to Lakeside.”
Explaining it, even in the simplest way, is the hardest part.
It’s embarrassing, it’s a close and sensitive topic, and it’s hard to talk about.
But despite everything, it was the best thing I did for myself.
Even though it felt like a failure, I knew it was the right thing to do.
Questioning what I was doing and having to leave meant I had a full reset.
I got to go back home, start over, and work out what I really wanted.
There were lots of tears, time alone, work, journaling, meditation… and lots of podcasts.
It was the catalyst for looking at what I really wanted and what was missing from my life.
My life looks wildly different now.
My friendship circle is smaller but tighter.
I live in my own, little one-bed house in Chelmsford that I adore.
I’m in a relationship where I show up better, communicate, and work on it properly.
And while I’ll always love teaching, the world of entrepreneurship keeps me challenged and entertained.
Getting divorced was the best thing I ever did for myself.
If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in now.
Was it hard? Yes. Incredibly.
But was it worth it? Absolutely.
