Chantelle the Coach - Love + Life Coach for Singles

being single for the first time at 26 changed EVERYTHING for me.

it was hard, scary and messy… but it also gave me the chance to create a life that was fully my own ✨

if you’re in the thick of it, *trust me*… it can be the making of you 💛

What are the BEST things about being single? 👇

Here’s what single women like you said…

⚡️ Your time (and your energy) is all yours
⚡️ You get to choose what YOU want to do, every day
⚡️ You’re free to be 100% yourself, no compromises

(Of course, you should be able to do these things in a relationship too - but let’s be honest, it’s a WHOLE lot easier when you’re living your best single girl life 💃🏻✨)

If this resonates, you’ve found your people 💕

Follow along and join a community of like-minded single women to help you celebrate single life and feel confident on your own 🎉

I wish someone had told me that heartbreak isn’t just about losing a person - it’s about losing the version of yourself that only existed in that relationship.

When my long-term relationship ended, I felt like I’d failed.
I jumped on dating apps too soon.
I cried daily.
I questioned my worth.
And I hated admitting any of it out loud.

But here’s the truth:
✨ You are not broken for being single.
✨ Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak - it means you’re healing.
✨ Singlehood is not a setback; it’s a season for rediscovering YOU.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one struggling after a breakup - you’re not ❤️

These are 3 life-changing lessons I wish I knew when I first became single 💔✨

1️⃣ This too shall pass

If you’re crying every night, wondering if you’ll be single forever or if the pain will always hurt this much… please know: it doesn’t last forever. Healing after a breakup takes time, but I promise you won’t always feel like this 💕

2️⃣ Who you surround yourself with matters

When you’re newly single, the voices around you are powerful. Surround yourself with supportive, understanding friends who don’t rush you into dating again or tell you how to live your single life 🌸

3️⃣ Doing things alone is powerful

Getting over the fear of solo dates, solo travel, or even just solo weekends is so freeing. It helps you rediscover what you love and who you are - so if you choose to be in a relationship again, you’ll never lose yourself in the process. 💪

—

🎧 For deeper advice on how to be happy single, life after breakup, and creating a single life you actually love, check out Episode 53 of The Single Spark podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

And I can see us lost in the memory, August slipped away, like a moment in time 🩷✨

1. smashing the parkrun sub-30 pb (we’re now down to 29:41 💪🏻)
2 + 3. geocaching date nights
4. doing my first ever school holiday drop off
5 + 6. client work in London
7 + 8. meeting baby Reuben with the parkrun crew
9. parkrun fun
10. London palladium tour with Mum + Big G
11 + 12. taytay
13 + 14. solo stepparent trip to adventure island
15. CarFest with Mumma
16. Basingstoke parkrun whilst at CarFest
17. CarFest again
18. scouting for girls at CarFest
19. the lion inn with auntie Loulou
20. parkrun Billericay where I got the 29.41 time 💪🏻

It’s been an incredibly busy one… and I’m really looking forward to September being a bit calmer 😅✨

6 YEARS AGO TODAY, I GOT MARRIED… but I’m no longer married.

And unless you’ve been here for a while, you might not know that.

It makes sense - I’m happy, confident, and two years into a new relationship, don’t have children of my own.

But this was my life 6 years ago… and a year later it wasn’t.

In 2019, after less than a year of marriage, I separated from my ex.

We had a house to sell, cars to sort out, and a dog too. We also had our delayed honeymoon happening RIGHT. THEN.

I was back to live at my Mum’s house, in the same room I’d lived in as a teen.

The relationship *WASN’T* awful.

It was hard to explain because there was no obvious “reason,” just an intuitive knowing that I wasn’t in the right place.

That didn’t make it any easier.

Having that difficult conversation was hard enough.

Then there were the practicalities to sort out.

Oh, and then there’s telling everyone.

I remember bursting into tears in the car park when a colleague made a reference to “driving back to Lakeside.”

Explaining it, even in the simplest way, is the hardest part.

It’s embarrassing, it’s a close and sensitive topic, and it’s hard to talk about.

But despite everything, it was the best thing I did for myself.

Even though it felt like a failure, I knew it was the right thing to do.

Questioning what I was doing and having to leave meant I had a full reset.

I got to go back home, start over, and work out what I really wanted.

There were lots of tears, time alone, work, journaling, meditation… and lots of podcasts.

It was the catalyst for looking at what I really wanted and what was missing from my life.

My life looks wildly different now.

My friendship circle is smaller but tighter.

I live in my own, little one-bed house in Chelmsford that I adore.

I’m in a relationship where I show up better, communicate, and work on it properly.

And while I’ll always love teaching, the world of entrepreneurship keeps me challenged and entertained.

Getting divorced was the best thing I ever did for myself.

If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in now.

Was it hard? Yes. Incredibly.

But was it worth it? Absolutely.

I know… showing up to a wedding and realising you’re one of the only singles surrounded by couples isn’t the nicest of feelings… especially when you REALLY would quite like to be in a relationship.

But I’m here to remind you that being able to say “at least you’re not alone” isn’t your excuse to jump into a relationship with the next guy you go on a date with.

Let’s think about it…

A bad relationship drains your energy. When it’s just not quite right, everything that should be a breeze, something you do with enthusiasm and care for that newfound love in your life, takes that bit more effort.

And living that day in, day out...

It turns tiring pretty quickly!

And if you’re in my circle, I’m willing to bet that you don’t want a relationship with someone

that can’t be arsed...
that you can’t have deep conversations with...
that doesn’t want to grow as a person together…

and if I’ve got this right, you’re actually looking for something that

If I’ve got this right, you want someone that

is ready to cook you a meal if you’re late getting back from work

will have *difficult* conversations, because they want to maintain the relationship, not brush things under the carpet and pretend like everything’s okay all the time

is in the same chapter as you, and only a few pages apart from at any given time in terms of goals and intentions

Then if that’s true, staying single is the smarter option until the *right* relationship comes along.

No matter how lonely you feel, that relationship isn’t gonna fulfil you in the ways you’re looking for if it isn’t right.

It will for a bit - until it doesn’t any more...

And all you’ll have done is waste time trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, just to keep up with your friends and the expectations of the people around you.

And I know I’m not single as I write this, but I lived by it.

I only went on 16 first dates, guys.
16… in three years.
That’s 5 a year on average.

Because it had to be right.

Else it wasn’t worth my time, energy and effort.

So who’s with me?!

Who’s ready to stay single until something REALLY suitable comes along?!

Double tap if you’re in for the ride 🚗

That’s right, the podcast is back… but there’s still more to come! 👀😱

Thanks to all those that listened to the new podcast over the past few days.

This is a whole new era to help you find your shine, enjoy your single life and go into dating with absolute confidence.

Whether you got your hopes shattered in dating from all the time-wasting, or you’re just bored and tired of having the same old conversations… I’m here for it!

And just so you know, I’m the gift that keeps on giving - there’s another ✨ BONUS ✨ podcast episode out for you today.

When we said we were back we didn’t just mean in exactly the same way as before… oh no.

We’re back with a mini “moments” episode, featuring the best content from previous episodes… but with a twist.

To start us off, I went back to Episode 4 to go back to one of my favourite topics: LOVE!

But when I went back, I decided I needed to give you the punchier headlines, with 2 more years experience, and even more perspective and knowledge since I first recorded that episode.

So it isn’t just a snippet… it’s a mini re-record, with extra insight for you to go away and get that spark back ✨

Mini Moment 4 is out now, available on your favourite podcast players!

In case you haven’t heard… the podcast is BACK!

Three years ago this week, I started The Single Girl’s Guide to Life sat at my kitchen table, recovering from an op.

It was designed to help single women get confident being on their own again, as part of the mission to end loneliness.

Today, we enter a new era, and a rebrand of the podcast to “The Single Spark” ✨

This time, we’re in our 30s. It’s for those that have lost their spark after losing their relationship, or from going through the dating experience (that is not all it’s cracked up to be).

It’s about finding that one single spark in dating that will lead to the deep, meaningful relationship we’re really looking for, as well as finding the spark in ourselves again.

It’s a new chapter, a new era of single life and the podcast.

So if you’re personally single and looking to find yourself so you can go out and date with confidence again, or know one of your friends that could do with listening in, I’d BLOODY LOVE IT if you’d give it a listen, or share the episode with a pal ✨

Available to listen to on all your favourite podcast players! (And all 104 of the old episodes are still available under The Single Spark podcast too!)

Yesterday was my 31st birthday ✨

To me, my birthday marks the occasion of another year on earth.

A time to reflect, take stock and look at everything that’s happened in the past year.

It’s also a brilliant excuse to arrange a get together with my nearest and dearest.

The ones I love most, and to have them all in one place.

This year, we took park in a ParkRun. For me it was my 50th, after racking up a fair number at Chelmsford in this past year.

For others it was their first ParkRun, their first 5km, or there 30th… whilst those that couldn’t run, watched and cheered.

Despite the weather, my besties showed up. And some joined after, knowing the rain wasn’t for them!

We sat round the table at brunch after, where I changed into a poofy dress and spice girl platform trainers.

And thanks to a gift from one of my friends, we played a round of Herd Mentality at the table.

It was nothing special, but it was special to me.

Having my friends and family in that way brings me so much joy, and reminds me of all the love that’s around me throughout the year.

They’re the people that bring the warmth and glow to my life.

The steady flame that surrounds me and makes me feel I’m at home.

And they also accept my level of extra, for pulling together such an event each year, wearing birthday badges and headbands, and creating a dedicated WhatsApp chat.

My birthday is the excuse to celebrate all the bright starts in my life, and I love them all to bloody pieces ⭐️❤️✨

2 days to go ✨ and a friendly reminder for all of you that are single right now…