Helm Education Consultancy

❤️ 14 Days of EBSA

🗓 Day 8
When home and school aren't speaking the same language

Practical tip:
Before your next conversation with school, agree on three shared observations, rather than three opinions.

For example:
❌ “School isn't supporting her.”
❌ “She's refusing because she's anxious.”

Instead:
✅ “Her anxiety increases significantly on Sunday evening.”
✅ “She finds unstructured lunchtime particularly difficult.”
✅ “She manages better when she knows which adult will meet her.”

Facts give everyone something concrete to work with.

Top Tip.
Find the “safe person”.
Ask your child: “Who at school makes things feel a little easier?” If they can't name anyone, that's useful information too.

14 Days of EBSA ❤️

Day 9 “But they went out yesterday!”

Practical tip:
Start noticing what is different about the environments your child manages well.

Ask:
“What is it about being there that makes it easier?”

Perhaps it's:
fewer people
more control
knowing what's going to happen
being with a trusted person
being able to leave
less sensory input
no fear of getting something wrong

Those clues can be incredibly useful when talking to school.

📆 Understanding EBSA for Families: From Anxiety to Attendance

Date: 2 sept • 17:30

Understanding EBSA for Families: From Anxiety to Attendance This webinar is designed to support parents and carers of children and young people experiencing school-related anxiety.

14 Days of EBSA

DAY 10 The Sunday night spiral

Sunday evening.
“Is it nearly bedtime?”
“What time do I have to get up?”
“I don't feel well.”
“I can't do tomorrow.”
Caption:
For some families, the school week starts long before Monday morning.

Sunday evening can bring:
😟 increased anxiety
🤕 headaches or tummy aches
😴 difficulty sleeping
🔁 repeated questions about the next day
😢 tears or irritability
🚪 attempts to avoid the morning altogether

And sometimes the child can't even explain why they feel this way.
Physical symptoms can be very real when someone is experiencing anxiety or distress.

So rather than assuming they're making excuses, it can be useful to pause and ask:
“What might their body be telling us?”

14 Days of EBSA

Day 11 The EBSA iceberg
Practical tip:
Take a piece of paper and draw an iceberg.
Above the water:
What we see
Below the water:
What might be happening underneath
Don't assume you've got the answers. Put question marks beside things you're unsure about.
Then ask:
“What don't we know yet?”
That question can be more useful than jumping straight to a solution.

https://ocduk.enthuse.com/pf/frankie-r

This is my nephew, Sam.

Sam has diagnosed Autism, ADHD, mental health challenges, OCD and has been struggling for the past few years to even leave the house.

To say my brother, sister in law and family have been through hell is an understatement.

But slowly, slowly, he is making small but significant steps of progress.
I'm so hugely proud of him - and this is a massive thing for him to do!

Please donate even £1. I know, quietly, it will mean the world to him ❤️

14 Days of EBSA

Day 12 | “They just don't want to go”

Practical tip:
Next time you hear yourself thinking “They just won't…”, try replacing it with:
“I wonder what is making this feel impossible right now?”

You don't have to remove expectations. You're simply changing the question from compliance → curiosity.

Ask “What helps?” before asking “What should we do?”
Your child may already know something that makes school feel slightly more manageable.

14 Days of EBSA 🧡

Day 13 | EBSA doesn't always look like EBSA

A child or young person experiencing EBSA can still sometimes appear "fine". Different environments and different people mean different demands. A child can still laugh in some situations and feel distress in others.

Practical tip:
Don't only ask your child, “How was school?”
Try more specific questions:
“What was the easiest part of today?”
“What was the hardest bit?”
“Was there any point you felt like you wanted to escape?”
“How much energy did school take out of you today?”

If words are too much, try a simple number scale score - on a really difficult day, my daughter could only manage a 1, 2 or 3 out of 3.

And remember, “Fine” doesn't always mean fine.

To my students awaiting their results in the morning - be proud of yourselves ❤️
You know who you are and I know how amazing your futures are x

In the lead up to our Families EBSA Webinar on the 2nd September, we are posting 14 Days of EBSA - a short daily post to try and squash the myths of EBSA and offer small bits of practical advice, as we prepare for a new academic year.

Follow us for daily guidance, support and tips and watch out for our flash sale with a 50% off code for attendance to our webinar coming soon!

📆 Day 14 | What is EBSA?
EBSA is Emotionally-Based School Anxiety, being experienced by a rising number of families as our children try to navigate an increasingly tough battleground in what should be their formative years.

Practical tip:
For a week, notice and jot down when school-related distress appears, rather than just recording whether your child attended.

Look for patterns:
When does anxiety start?
Is it worse on particular days?
What happens before it?
What seems to help?
What happens after school?

Try this: Keep a simple “what happened before / during / after” note. You're gathering clues, not looking for someone to blame.

Understanding EBSA for Families: From Anxiety to Attendance

Date: 2 sept • 17:30

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/understanding-ebsa-for-families-from-anxiety-to-attendance-tickets-1986773325499?aff=ebdsshother&utm_share_source=listing_android&sg=3c640ee6af8fc5224c21950681c8ca5fd34e4aead73d8cf9f682b2f0647ea2452470a3af61efaa4017a4caaca92644f34c861157d0e24a47c26b5ce30357005800b19ac1fef7f7d0761b19d948c3

Let's take a moment to appreciate these three amazing human beings that I've brought into the world.

They each have their strengths and they each have their flaws and challenges. But, on the whole, they are all growing into smart, independent, confident kind and funny young people. And I'm so bloody proud of them ❤️