shaena_kaseyjay

When are you going to choose you?

A lot of women I talk to say the same thing, “I don’t have time to worry about me”.

This is one massive factor when it comes to what is keeping them stuck.

The responsibilities.
The duties.
The roles.
The expectations.

The emphasis is on ‘other’ instead of ‘me’.

I’m currently on covid day 3. And I started to look at my needs vs other.

What is necessary? What is it that I have to do this week, no matter what? What are my nonnegotiables?

1. Making sure I am fed and watered.
2. Making sure Louis is fed and watered.

That’s it, everything else can technically wait or is of less importance.

Louis needs walking. Will the world end if he doesn’t get out? Of course not. So that can wait.

I’m not feeling as rough as I’d expected and as a business owner there is no sick pay in my world. So do I need to carry on working?

No. I can down tools until I’m fully recovered. However, at this stage in my business I still need to do enough to keep things ticking over. So I have made a choice to do things that require the least amount of energy and will still have an impact on my business.

I had meetings scheduled this week. If I put the needs of others ahead of me I would have kept those appointments. Instead I’ve put my rest and recovery first, and rescheduled.

We have this ridiculous idea that we just have to keep going. Never letting anyone down. Doing what is expected of us. Being the hero and putting everyone and everything else first.

Truth is, by doing that, you are pushing everyone else forward and holding yourself back.

The only way you get to move forward. Get unstuck. And be better. Is by choosing you.

I’m choosing me this week.

When are you going to choose you?

Drop into my DMs if you’re ready 🥰

I got hit with the dreaded C19 yesterday. It sucks but to be fair I’ve done well to avoid it until now.

Anyway, yesterday I had a day of work planned. Unfortunately covid head has left me with the attention span of a fish so the day was pretty unproductive.

I’m currently sat watching my fellow yogis in class as part of our 200 hour YTT. I’m observing, listening but not doing the physical practice.

It got me thinking about when I was in a job that made me miserable or took part in things I never really wanted to. And how the slightest of signs of me getting ill was very much welcomed do I didn’t have to go to work. Or had to cancel the class. Or got to stay in bed for the day.

I was constantly trying to get out of the life I was living. How ridiculous is that? I’d created a life where I’d rather be sick to avoid living it.

It didn’t really hit me until today when here I am, actually sick. And I’m gutted that I couldn’t do the work on my business I wanted to yesterday. I’m gutted I’m watching yoga class instead of participating. I’m gutted that I’m potentially confined to the sofa/bed for a few more days at least.

I’d love to know (DM me) if you’ve felt this too. Wishing for or welcoming in something like an illness so you don’t have to do life.

If you were to search my name on the police database I’d have a marker against me with some historic info about being a high risk misper (missing person) and su***de risk.

That was me less then 3 years ago…

It’s not a story I share often. It’s not one I’m proud of. And it’s not one I remember much about.

Back then I didn’t believe change was possible. I didn’t think I would ever amount to anything. I was a liability, a drain on my friends and family and a bit of a waste of space.

At least those are the stories I told myself.

So how did I get here? How did I become the person that gets to share that story, tell you it was a load of bu****it and tell you, change IS possible?

The universe nudged me and I listened.

I gave myself the benefit of the doubt, decided I was worth a shot and I took a chance at writing a new story.

In practical terms, I stopped playing the victim and I got curious.

I looked at why I thought the way I thought about myself, my life and the world.
I asked myself questions, I asked other people questions and most importantly I questioned everything I thought I knew.
And I learned (through a lot of trial and error) new ways of thinking, behaving and coping…but that only came after a lot of unlearning.

And all of a sudden I was free. I was no longer Shaena the missing person. I had found my way home…back to me. The me that I’d lost a good few decades ago.

The me that now knows anything is possible if you believe in yourself and shut out the noise.

If I can go from that version of me (who I don’t even recognise anymore) to the girl who runs her own business, is 2+ years sober, has been on National radio (3 times!), jumped out of a plane (with a parachute!) and loves her life so fiercely; then you my love can get yourself out of whatever rut, trap, miserable situation you are in.

I found my way home, I can help you to do the same.

DM me, let’s go on an adventure 🥰

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Are you having trouble saying what you want to say? What you need to say?

Do you find it hard to speak your truth?

Do you struggle to find your voice?

Maybe you’re scared of asking for what you need?

This morning I attended a meditation sharing circle with some ladies from my yoga community (big up posse 🙌).

The session was based on the throat chakra which is the energy centre associated with communication and finding your true voice.

And it got me thinking about how my throat chakra must be well balanced at the moment because I have started speaking my truth pretty loud and clear.

Historically this is something I’ve been pretty s**t at. I used to let things like guilt, fear of judgment, embarrassment or self doubt keep my voice quiet, if not silent.

And I wonder why I was so miserable…go figure! 🙄

If you’re not liking where you’re at in life. Or really unhappy with something in particular. Chances are you are not speaking your truth or communicating your needs.

And there may very well be reasons for this. But unless you address these reasons and find a way around them, nothing will change and you will continue to be unheard.

If you’re ready to ask for what you need then drop me a message and we can see about removing that frog!

Did you know I’m a reiki master?

You know that energy healing woo woo thing people do with their hands to balance chakras?

Well, that’s me. WOO! WOO! 🙋🏽‍♀️

This time last year I sat at my little iPad screen every day for about 3 weeks, meeting with the most incredible reiki master in India while she patiently taught me the ins and outs of reiki.

It was incredible. I learned so much. But when it was over, it was just over. I didn’t know what to do with it. What I mean is, practicing reiki to heal myself and others just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel called to do that.

One thing was clear. I couldn’t push myself something I didn’t want to do. Especially something involving life force energy.

So I parked it. I put it to one side and I trusted the universe would shine a light on it when it was time to take a look again.

It’s funny what happens when you clear your head of what no longer belongs in it. Suddenly there’s space for the things you once parked.

So yes, I’m going all woo woo on you! Not quite in the traditional sense but I’ll be bringing you the teachings of reiki in my own kinda way. The Soulful Warrior way….

WATCH THIS SPACE 💫

And just like that, she’s leaving the hive and embarking on a new journey.

Yes, it’s official. After the most incredible 20 months of being a part of the most loving, supportive and inspiring community I am taking this little fat furry body and seeing how far my wings can carry me.

Did I ever think this day would come? Of course I did.
Did I think it would be this soon? Most definitely not.

But if I’ve learned anything in the past few years is that sobriety brings with it the best surprises, the most wonderful opportunities and gives you so much strength to go and do amazing things.

Some have asked if I’m doing the right thing. But those who know me well, know it’s time.

As I’ve said a billion times over the last few years, and what I’ll keep saying until I’m dead and buried (actually I’m going to be cremated so that’s not technically true) - nothing great ever l happens in comfort zones.

Growth.
Magic.
Progress.
Opportunity.
Success.
Joy.

All on the other side of the comfort zone border. And that’s where I’m going, across the border and into the unknown. And I cannot bloody wait.

The universe has had my back since I started trusting in it. Because it saw me pushing myself, taking action and doing hard things.

So although I don’t know exactly what’s to come, I know that I will be supported. I’ve got the love of the best people around me. The guidance of some incredible mentors and coaches. And I’ve got me, and I trust and like me these days. So I think…no, I know I’m gonna be all good.

I’m leading by example…. Are you going to follow?

People say that ‘later’ might never come.

Technically not true. Later will arrive but when we are there it’ll just be now 🤷🏽‍♀️.

This week I stopped waiting for later.
I stopped waiting for a better time.
I stopped waiting to be ready.

I just did the thing.

I’ll tell you about the thing in a few days…gotta keep things a bit hush hush for now 🤫.

Life decisions that can change your trajectory are scary as f**k. I get it. No, I mean I really get it. I’ve made a fair few over the years. And although some may not have turned out how I had liked or planned, I’m still here to tell the tale.

Regret is probably one of the worst emotions to feel. The feeling of wishing you chose differently or took action instead of staying still. I have regrets, who doesn’t?! But in recent years I promised myself I’d not add to the list.

So now, when it’s a choice between jumping into scary or staying in the comfy zone, I jump.

Here’s what I know for sure. We don’t know anything for sure 😂.

Things could go right, as easily as they could go wrong. And vice versa.

All you can do is, get your ducks together. Don’t wait for them to be in a row. There’s always one little duck that is out of place. But you can’t let that hold you back.

That dream version of you 5 years from now is telling you to stop waiting. She’s telling you to screw that last duck. She’s telling you to trust in yourself. She’s telling you that just do enough to tip the scales in your favour…and then close your eyes and JUMP!

DM if you’re done waiting on that last duck. Let’s make 2027 you proud! 🥰

If you’ve been drinking for 30+ years and want to stop. Nobody can undo those habits in a weekend.

If you’ve been a people pleaser all your adult life, you can’t just put up boundaries over night and have them stay up.

If you’ve gained a considerable amount of weight over lockdown, a week counting your syns isn’t going to suddenly get you back into your skinny jeans.

I’m frustrated this morning, can you tell? I’m frustrated that we’ve created a world in which when we want something, we just want it now, right this second…or better still, yesterday.

And when we don’t get it, we give up. Or blame the process, or the person or the system.

No no no!!

We need to take responsibility for our actions. We, you…need to know that change doesn’t happen over night but through consistency, repetition and patience.

You have to understand how you got to where you are now.
You have to be willing to go back to the start of the journey.
You have to be willing to uncover stuff you’ve been avoiding.
You have to be willing to open up to the truth.

The problem isn’t the drinking, the weight gain or the ‘I’m a door mat’ sign on your forehead. They are just symptoms of the real problem.

And the real problem can’t be healed, solved or erased until you face up to it.

It took me almost 40 years to start facing up to mine. But when I started doing it properly, I started seeing lasting change.

You get to have that lasting change too. You get to solve the problems. You even get to stop drinking, lose the weight or remove the sign.

It just takes time, courage and a whole bucket load of compassion.

And someone who can help show you the way - that would be me! 🙋🏽‍♀️

DMs are open - drop in to find out how I can best help you.

You get to choose.

Every time.

♥️

Some might say I’m not a real mum. But I know you would say that’s bo****ks.

Thank you for loving me. And thank you for allowing me to love you.

I love you Louis 🥰

I remember my first chat with my then coach (now friend) Laura.

Me: So I have been doing the work on shifting my mindset.

Laura: what ‘work’ have you been doing?

Me: I’ve read some books, I do my daily gratitude lists, podcasts, meditate, visualisation exercises - that sort of thing.

Laura: yeah, that’s not doing the work.

Me: oh! 😐

Now, when I hear someone say ‘I’m doing the work’ I remember this conversation with Laura. And then I think…

‘That’s not doing the work’.

That stuff is all great and if you’re doing it, keep it up.

But it’s just surface level s**z! That won’t heal the wounds. It won’t reprogram your beliefs and behaviours. It won’t move you at your core (which is what you need by the way). It will just make you feel fake good followed by frustrated, because you’re not seeing or feeling any real change.

You need to go deeper. And in order to go deeper you need someone to take you there. Why? Because you’ll never push yourself enough to go there on your own.

I’m not saying there a bunch of ugly, painful, traumatic stuff down there. There might be, there might not be. But it takes the right techniques, the right questioning and the right processes to take you to the level you need to get to really make significant mindset shifts.

I can help you do that. It’s what I’m trained to do. It’s what I’m qualified to do. AND it’s what I’m good at - horn tooted 📣.

Join me on Soulful Self-Worth (6 week group program) and let me help you do some real work. DM me for deets….spaces are limited so get in quick x