PookyH

PookyH This is a place for us to share and discuss ideas, opinions and resources about neurodivergence and mental health

Not at easy read, but an important one for making those navigating the process feel less alone and for helping professio...
18/09/2026

Not at easy read, but an important one for making those navigating the process feel less alone and for helping professionals working with them understand a different point of view.

I’ll be interested to know other people’s take on Nicola Hughes’s brave book. It certainly made me feel less alone and shifted just a little of the guilt I carry about neither of my daughters having an EHCP and both having had periods of home schooling because I fell at every hurdle and ultimately chose to protect my own mental health…

Every school in England is writing an inclusion strategy this term, ready for a December deadline. It’s easy for that to...
17/09/2026

Every school in England is writing an inclusion strategy this term, ready for a December deadline. It’s easy for that to become a document about budgets, provision and outcomes, and those things matter. I’d start somewhere smaller.

What would make tomorrow easier for the child who finds school hardest?

That isn’t always the child with the most visible needs. Often it’s the one who holds it together all day and falls apart at the school gate, or the one who’s quietly stopped putting their hand up. Ask them, ask their family and ask the adult who knows them best. The answers are usually small and specific: a quieter route to lunch, a heads up before the fire drill, never being asked to read aloud without warning.

Those answers are the heart of a good inclusion strategy. The document is just where you write them down.

If you could change one small thing tomorrow for the child who finds school hardest, what would it be?

I did go to band… I was scared but I LOVED IT. I’ve met a great bunch of people of all ages, pushed myself out of my com...
15/09/2026

I did go to band… I was scared but I LOVED IT. I’ve met a great bunch of people of all ages, pushed myself out of my comfort zone, rediscovered the joy of playing with others and fallen in love with this lovely little loaned cornet. BUT there are several cornet players and no flugelhorn players in the training band so I’m going to switch things up after we’ve played out end of month concert and give a new instrument a play (flugelhorn is what the girl in brassed off plays. I’ve had a tiny go and loved it).

Thank you SO MUCH for all the encouragement and positive vibes. A 25 year break is big but not insurmountable it seems. What have you done recently that scared you… or what might you be prepared to try?

14/09/2026

A rough day at college feels like a verdict. It’s not. It’s information.

When you’ve found school hard and college starts badly, it’s the easiest thing in the world to decide you’ve got it wrong and you can’t do this. A bad day or a difficult week can feel like proof about you. It isn’t. It’s data.

The move that helps is to shrink it. Instead of ’the whole day was a disaster’, find the smallest specific thing that went wrong. The bus. The canteen at lunch. One assignment that made no sense. A whole bad day gives you nothing to work with. One named problem gives you something to change, or to ask someone for help with.

When a day goes badly:
1. Name the smallest bit
Not ’it was awful’ but ’the canteen was too loud’, something specific.

2. Sort that one thing
A named problem is one you can change or get help with.

3. Hold off on the big conclusions
One hard day, even a hard week, isn’t a verdict on the whole thing.

A hard day doesn’t mean you’ve chosen wrong or that you can’t do this. It means one thing needs sorting. Find that thing.

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Share this to your stories for anyone starting college who’s finding it tough.

Fab new book recommendation alert (and giveaway – see at the end) I’m loving this new beast of a book that have recentl...
11/09/2026

Fab new book recommendation alert (and giveaway – see at the end)

I’m loving this new beast of a book that have recently sent me – it’s massive and beautiful and FULL of great ideas to help ND teens with memory and study skills. It’s full of information but chunked in a manageable way and all very clearly explained without ever slipping into being condescending and the whole thing is filled with activities and exercises to help teens understand themselves, what might help and to put ideas into practice. (it feels nice too… these thigns matter!)

I’m a big fan.

I’ve got a spare copy to giveaway – if you’d like it or have a specific staff member, student or family in mind who you think would benefit from it then please leave a comment making your case. I’ll pick a winner in a few days.
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It’s widely available - if you buy direct from Jessica Kingsley Publishers quote POOKY20 at checkout to get a 20% discount on all titles.

p.s. if anyone can find the author, please tag her… the illustrator is Victoria Barron

Rare sighting: Pooky, mid INSET tour, actually remembering to get a photo taken. This was in the middle of four INSETs i...
09/09/2026

Rare sighting: Pooky, mid INSET tour, actually remembering to get a photo taken. This was in the middle of four INSETs in a week, which is a lot of hotel beds, a lot of driving and a whole lot of brilliant conversations with staff who care enormously about the young people in front of them. I came away super hopeful for the year ahead.

What did your INSET cover this term and has any of it actually made it into the classroom yet?

08/09/2026

‘Calm down’ is an instruction a panicking brain can’t follow.

When a child flips into threat mode, the thinking part that could choose to settle has stepped back and the alarm system that’s now in charge doesn’t respond to instructions. So ‘calm down’, however reasonably we say it, asks for something they can’t reach from where they are.

Worse, it often feels like ‘you’re getting this wrong’, which adds a layer of failure to a child who’s already overwhelmed. The state has to change first. The calm follows, it can’t be summoned.

What helps instead:
1. Lower the heat, not the volume
Cut demands, soften your voice, make the moment safer.

2. Regulate yourself first
Your calm is catching, your panic is too.

3. Wait it out
Calm arrives once the threat passes, not because you asked for it.

Telling a child to calm down is like yelling at a smoke alarm to be quiet. It’s not the problem. Turn off the heat and it stops on its own.

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