19/10/2021
These last few days, I have been trying to write a post.. Again and again. And every time, words have just not been enough to relay what’s really going on.
A couple of weeks ago, I made a decision and an investment - totally based in fear.
In fear, that I wouldn’t be able to achieve scaling to scaling to $100,000 cash months, without the help of this one coach.
I had done this before. Two times, in fact.
Every time came with huge learning, and huge scaling. Every time it didn’t result in what I THOUGHT I was there to learn.
But this time was different.
This time I was well aware that everything in my system was telling me not to do it… But I did. Because I wanted that result sooo badly… That everything we were talking about in the 3D made sense, so even though everything inside me was pulling away… I decided to say “okay, let’s do it.”
It wasn’t a “f**k yes I am so excited!! And fu***ng scared because of the investment! AND SO EXCITED” like it has been, every time I made a big investment before then.
It felt like a defeat.
Like deciding to go with fear.
The fear telling me, I am not good enough.
The fear telling me, that I can’t do it without her.
The fear telling me, that my clients are not getting results quick enough and that means, I am not good enough.
But she has the plan. She’s got me. She’ll tell me how.
And as soon as I made that decision… I felt heartbroken. Shameful.
That I had done the thing, I swore never to do. The thing I teach my clients never to do.
I let fear decide for me.
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