South of Forgiveness

Healing, shame and South of Forgiveness were discussed in the Inner Circle with Carrie Doll podcast, which aired today. You'll find the full episode at www.carriedoll.ca 🔥

Merry Christmas everyone!🎄 And a special thank you to the Finnish public broadcaster for this interview.

Isländska Thordis Elva konfronterade sin våldtäktsman och skrev en bok tillsammans med honom Vill förändra myten om våldtäktsmannen som en "ful gubbe".

Messages from readers of South of Forgiveness, worldwide.

Our book is now out in Holland!!! 🇳🇱💪Many thanks to HarperCollins Holland for the Netherlands book release this week. Here's an interview with Tom in Dutch media (easily google-translated for those interested). On we go with the global dialogue about one of the most pressing issues of our time!🔥

Tom verkrachtte zijn vriendin: Egoïsme was een belangrijke reden De dader van een verkrachting doet zelden zijn verhaal. Thordis Elva (38) doorbrak dat en besloot Tom Stranger (41), de man die haar in 1996 verkrachtte, recht in zijn ogen te kijken en te luisteren naar het waarom van zijn daad. Het leidde tot hun gezamenlijke boek 7200 seconden.

Elva said the exchange helped heal her trauma because it was about vindicating her, not about redeeming him. “Forgiveness was the last thing on my mind for years and years,” Elva told The Globe from Stockholm. “It was a byproduct of something I found far more important, that Tom shouldered the blame that always belonged to him but I had wrongfully carried for years on end.”

After #MeToo allegations, is there a way forward that repairs harm? As they re-emerge in the public eye, prominent men accused of sexual misconduct are being met with both open arms and anger

"Should a perpetrator be seen and heard? Yes, says Thordis Elva, who was r***d by Tom Stranger." Interview and video of Thordis and Tom in Danish paper Jyllands-Posten, Feb 9th 2018.

Thordis Elva blev voldtaget som 16-årig: Her er hendes gerningsmand Skal en voldtægtsmand høres og ses? Ja, mener Thordis Elva, som blev voldtaget af Tom Stranger.

One of Denmark's most popular morning shows (Go Morgen Danmark) posed the following questions to Thordis and Tom in 10 minutes: (*trigger warning*)
- Thordis, why did you have the need to meet up with the man who r***d you?
- Tom, why did you agree to meet up with Thordis?
- Tom, you could've just ignored Thordis' email. Why did you have the need to answer her?
- Tom, what went through your mind right before you met Thordis again, all those years later, in Cape Town?
- Thordis, what did the two of you talk about in Cape Town?
- Thordis, what did you gain from this meeting?
- Tom, what did you gain from meeting up with Thordis?
- Tom, was it important for you to be able to tell Thordis you were sorry?
- Tom, what could have prevented you from ra**ng Thordis on that fateful night in '96?
- The book is called South of Forgiveness. It is mostly about you forgiving yourself, Thordis. Why did you blame yourself for what happened?
- Should victims forgive their rapists?
- Tom, you have taken responsibility for your actions, but how do we teach men that this kind of behaviour is nowhere near acceptable?
- Because of the campaign, we're discussing these issues more than ever. How to we build on that campaign and move forward? 🔥✊ (Click the below link to see how we answered).

Thordis and Tom interviewed on Go Morgen Danmark, Feb 7, 2018 Thordis and Tom discuss their past, victim-blaming, the importance of perpetrators taking responsibility, as well as the campaign.

Rejsen mod tilgivelse (South of Forgiveness) came out in Danish yesterday! 🇩🇰️️ :) Authors Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger are coming to Denmark February 6.-9. to mark the occasion, speaking publicly in Copenhagen, Odense and Aarhus. More information in the comments below.