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What do I want to be remembered for?

From my tender age, I have seen people being hurt, cheated on, despised and rejected.
I have seen unfairness, people being lonely, wasted potential - that’s it.

I want to be remembered for fixing what hurt me, and fixing what hurt others around me..

When do I usually smile or feel happy?
When do I lose track of time?
When people say “thanks, you always…” "I love you". When they show up for me.

The beautiful, kind, funny, and reliable words people use to address me. (I love that).
That is my legacy.

The love I share around, the grace I give others. My smile. My forgiveness, my kindness.

I don’t want to be remembered for big achievements. I want to be remembered for how I made others feel. Safe, seen, braver, less alone.

See you tomorrow

Social media vs reality

Social media is a highlight reel, but our brains treat it like reality.

Pressure and fake lifestyles

Platforms reward extremes. Perfect bodies, “day in my life at 5am”, vacations that look like movies. It’s not lying, it’s curation.

People post their 1% best moments. If you compare your messy behind-the-scenes to someone else’s trailer, you’ll always feel behind. That’s not your problem; that’s math.

Comparison

Comparison is automatic. We evolved to look around and see where we stand. Online, though, the sample size went from your neighborhood to 8 billion people.

You’re now comparing your Tuesday to a celebrity’s best photoshoot and a stranger’s fake “effortless” morning routine.
No one wins that game.

Online validation

Likes, views, comments... they hit the same brain circuits as food or money. So chasing them feels urgent.

But validation from strangers is borrowed confidence. It spikes fast and crashes fast.

The people who seem most stable online are usually the ones who get validation IRL first - from friends, work, hobbies - then post because they want to, not because they need to.

What actually helps

Remember the curation filter. If it looks perfect, it took effort to look that way.

Curate your feed like your room. Mute/unfollow anything that makes you feel small after you see it.
Post for memory, not metrics. If you’d still share it with 0 likes, it’s for you.

Social media isn’t evil. It’s a tool. The pressure comes when we forget it’s edited and start using it as a scoreboard for our worth.

See you tomorrow

Which meaning is new to you?

Social media vs reality

Social media is a highlight reel, but our brains treat it like reality.

Pressure and fake lifestyles

Platforms reward extremes. Perfect bodies, “day in my life at 5am”, vacations that look like movies. It’s not lying, it’s curation.

People post their 1% best moments. If you compare your messy behind-the-scenes to someone else’s trailer, you’ll always feel behind. That’s not your problem, that’s math.

Comparison

Comparison is automatic. We evolved to look around and see where we stand. Online though, the sample size went from your neighborhood to 8 billion people.

You’re now comparing your Tuesday to a celebrity’s best photoshoot and a stranger’s fake “effortless” morning routine.
No one wins that game.

Online validation

Likes, views, comments... they hit the same brain circuits as food or money. So chasing them feels urgent.

But validation from strangers is borrowed confidence. It spikes fast and crashes fast.

The people who seem most stable online are usually the ones who get validation IRL first -
from friends, work, hobbies - then post because they want to, not because they need to.

What actually helps

Remember the curation filter. If it looks perfect, it took effort to look that way.

Curate your feed like your room. Mute/unfollow anything that makes you feel small after you see it.
Post for memory, not metrics. If you’d still share it with 0 likes, it’s for you.

Social media isn’t evil. It’s a tool. The pressure comes when we forget it’s edited and start using it as a scoreboard for our worth.

See you tomorrow

To my younger self.

The regular questions I usually hear people asking are "what advice can you give to your younger self?", or "if you could go back in time, what would you do, or what choices would you make or avoid?".

To say the truth, I usually thank that small girl for her mistakes, failures, and disappointments. It helped her shape who I am now, and that is true.

For instance, after fighting so much to be accepted by others, the rejected young girl of yesterday taught the lady of today how to love and accept herself first.

No one will ever love you more than yourself, no matter what you do.

The reality is that we do not grow backwards. We will never have the opportunity to reverse time and correct our past mistakes or choices.

Life is lived forwards. Keep your eyes on the future. Your projects, visions, and dreams are what help you define with precision your future. Or at least to an extent.

However, your past is a teacher, a mirror of what life looks like when you do or don't.

Your younger self experienced failure within certain circumstances and framework.

Your present self now knows that "these particular circumstances and framework will definitely lead to failure, so I'd rather avoid it.

Your younger self experienced success under some conditions gathered, so your present self knows that "if I want to succeed in life, I'll have to create those conditions and use them as basics that I can improve on".

Your younger self experienced heartbreak, pain, remorse, loneliness, rejection...
So your present self knows best what might easily hurt others or bless them, what are the dos and don'ts in a relationship.

So, it is high time we stop looking at and advising our younger selves and start teaching our present selves how to embrace our future selves with grace, love, and determination.

See you

Showing up every day is a matter of decision. It is a matter of choice.

It shapes your behavior, tells you that you are more than able to do whatever I set my mind on.

What a joy, what a feeling of fulfillment.
When I started the challenge, my main goal was to gain visibility, have new followers and make my work known.

Coming to this day, I can say that what God had for me was something else.
I started by making a promise to post every day for 14 days.

There were days that I wanted to quit, there were days when I was too tired to write or post something, but the promise kept me going.

Then I realized it's becoming part of me. It's becoming a duty, a must-do.

The heaviness I had in the beginning has now given way to an excitement, and for now, I feel joyful and free to write my post.

The person who started the challenge for views and acknowledgement is now

becoming someone who understands that the real deal is keeping on going, even when there is no one to clap for me or the encourage me.

The real deal is that person who keeps on showing up long after the excitement vanishes.

Instead of focusing on perfection and human approbation, I started building habits and focusing on improving myself daily.

Now I understand that all I have to do is showing up for my dreams, and the habits I built over time will make it come to life.

Many thanks to Mercy Ojokojo for initiating this challenge. You cannot fathom what this has done in my life.

You are blessed.

At this point, I don't think there is a reason for me to stop it now.
Let's continue to make it a daily appointment.

See you tomorrow

The source that kept me going

Life has not always been easy, and at times I couldn't make it any longer. I was just tired, weak, and lifeless.

There were some days when I wanted to give up. It felt like the only option: let go of everything, sit and wait for death to come and do its job.

Yes, it was that difficult.
Have you ever had days when you wake up in the morning and lack the strength to get up? Well, I have.

And I will manage to leave the bed and it's already 3 pm that I'll manage to get up and have breakfast kind of days.

The fuel that kept me going?

Well, I'll look behind me and realize I have something worth fighting for. My daughter.

Then I'll get up, shake the dust, put a smile on my face, and move.
The thought of leaving her behind fighting alone against this world made me more determined to win the battle against life.

Price?

From the uneducated young girl I was when I gave birth to her, I am now a holder of a masters degree and many other certificates.

Even though she is no longer there to see what has become of her uneducated mother, I am still proud and grateful to myself for not giving up when every bit of me required me to.

Life comes packaged in different colors and tastes. At times, the most bitter experiences produced the sweetest results.

The darkest color produces the brightest rewards.
No matter how you feel, no matter what you see, don't give up, it's not over. Even when you fail, it's not over.
Keep moving, keep pushing.

Only when you give up, is it over.

See you tomorrow