Green Tara Canada

And she is left wondering what she did wrong.

She replays the conversations.
Questions her standards.
Wonders if she was too much, too intense, too honest about what she needed.

She was not too much.

She just knew what emotional safety felt like. And she stopped accepting less. 💚

A woman who has done her inner work will naturally ask more of a relationship.
Not because she is difficult. Because she has a defined Self.
She knows her needs. She will no longer abandon herself to keep the peace.

And a man who has not done that work yet cannot meet her there.
Not because he doesn’t try, but because he doesn’t know how to hold emotions with internal safety.
So he finds someone who does not ask that of him. Not out of cruelty. Out of avoidance.

And vice versa, this is not gender specific, it’s about the pattern!

It’s not about blame. It is about understanding the dynamic clearly enough to stop making yourself smaller to fit into it. 🌿

If you recognise yourself in this — on either side, the one who always attracts emotionally unavailable partners, or the one who always wants to leave

💚 DM SELF and let’s talk about what is underneath, so you get to have fulfilling relationships.

There is a version of me still in that house. Still managing his moods. Still shrinking myself so the room would feel safer. Still telling myself it was not that bad and that I just needed to be more patient, more understanding, more whatever the next book told me to be.

When it ended, it did not feel like joy on the day. It felt like heavy grief. It felt like failure. It felt like dismantling the version of my life I had spent years convincing everyone, including myself, was the one I wanted.

But here is what no one tells you. The grief of leaving can heal. The grief of staying will just build.
Every day, month or year you stay and keep trying to make it work one more time, you abandon a slightly older version of yourself who was still asking to be chosen.
Not by him. By yourself.

So now I am a lighter, freer version of myself, finally allowed to take up the full shape of my own life.

The old version of me still in that house did not get the friends I now have, the work I now do, the way my body finally exhales when I walk through my front door.

And sometimes it is not even dramatic. It is the little daily things that make us shrink.
The small adjustments we make add up, and we start living as our own shadow without even realizing.

💚 Do you relate? If this hit a spot, send me a DM and let’s chat.

We search for inner peace everywhere we go.

The smell of nature, the fire crackling and the calming touch of air on your face, while you give yourself permission to finally relax.
That’s when your heart can finally smile.

You’re probably so caught up in doing, fixing, getting things done, you forget that it’s OK to feel Safe and good enough for who you are and what you do. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, but NOW. In this present moment.

Safety is not a place. It’s a state of mind. It’s what we thrive for all our lives; in relationships, career, health, friendships and every other area of our lives.

And it all starts with your nervous system, and you.
Not the job you stress over, not the relationship that isn’t working.

Your nervous system is overloaded, and is in constant alert without you even realizing. It’s like living in a burning house.

When you try to create a peaceful life from a burning house, everything else will catch on fire.
You end up collecting things out of desperation just to help you feel safe again.

When you learn to create Safety within yourself, within your body and your nervous system, is when you can start creating the magic you want in your life.✨

DM me, or comment SAFETY if this resonates. 🫶🏻☀️ Let’s chat about how to create your forever safe space. 🌱

This is your reminder: Love that requires you to shrink, to overexplain, to wait by your phone, to tone yourself down, to manage their moods, to be smaller so they feel bigger, is not the love that makes you feel safe and fulfilled in a relationship. It’s the love you settled for, because it gives you moments of feeling chosen. There is a big difference.

You probably know this deep inside too, but you’re uncertain how to start being true to yourself.

Self-compassion, and choosing yourself does not always mean leaving. Sometimes it means staying and openly expressing your doubts and fears while putting shame aside. Sometimes it means setting healthy boundaries instead of overfunctioning to keep the relationship going. Sometimes it means letting it get uncomfortable so the truth has room to surface.

The space you allow without trying to carry the emotional burden alone will give the answers you need.

You are allowed to express your true needs, and choose to be loved well. Not just loved. Loved with compassion and attunement at all times.

Because love is not just whether someone shows up. It is whether they show up the way you need, with mutual compassion towards each other so your nervous systems can finally feel safe.

🌿 Save this for the next time you catch yourself accepting the version of love you were taught was normal.

If you are tired of understanding the pattern but still living it, let’s chat. DM me SELF. 💚

You probably don’t realize you’re accepting the bare minimum when you are.
It’s hard to take a step back, and realize bare minimum texts while you’re so focused on trying to make things work.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the he said-she said, trying to prove your worth.

And there you are again...realizing that you’ve been accepting the bare minimum.
Not because you know you deserve more, but in most cases, because deep inside you believe too little of yourself.
You accept it because deep down, a part of you does not believe you deserve more.
“This is what we have, this is what we are working with”!

It is never actually about the person or the story you get lost in.
It is about the subconscious belief you are running about yourself invisibly.
And when you haven’t recognized that belief yet, it is in charge.

You can only meet them where you’ve already met yourself.
So you choose based on superficial characteristics.
How they look. What they do. Their status. Their financial situation.

We think: “right person, right packaging, right chemistry”. And we miss what is actually happening underneath.
Because someone who knows they ARE amazing the way they are will never settle for the bare minimum.
And it’s not about affirmations, it’s about compassionately learning how to meet yourself where you are first.

Because you were never the problem, and you are good enough. You just haven’t actually met yourself like that yet. 💚

It’s not about cognitive understanding of your worth.
It’s about learning how to compassionately relate to yourself without judgment or resistance.
That’s where happiness starts. It starts with YOU!
And your beliefs about yourself. 🌿

DM me SELF and let’s talk about how you can meet yourself. 💚

… and almost no one knows it exists. 🤫

Palm Leaf Readings. Written 3,000 years ago in India. Your leaf was written before you were born. Your patterns, your relationships, your purpose.

A Palm Leaf can answer big life questions like: will things work out with my current partner, and what can I do to improve issues? Am I on the right career path? What is my purpose? How can I reach fulfillment?

It’s so accurate that most of my clients are almost shocked when we find their leaf. The leaf reveals information no one else knows, and beyond. The names of your partner and your parents, your thoughts and plans… now imagine what else it can predict.

But here’s what I tell every client: like any prediction method, the reading is information.

Information alone doesn’t change your life.

If it did, every book you’ve read, every podcast you’ve listened to, every thing you already know about yourself would have already shifted you. It hasn’t. Because knowledge of the pattern is not the same as understanding how to step out of it.

This is why I don’t offer readings on their own.

Every Palm Leaf Reading comes with an integration session.

Because seeing your pattern is one thing. Learning to actually move and feel differently, in your body, in your nervous system, in the next moment you’re about to say yes when you mean no. That’s the work. That’s where the toxic relationship stops repeating. That’s where you start making choices from the power of your free will instead of from a pattern you didn’t choose.

Your Palm Leaf shows you the map. The session is where you learn to walk it.

Comment PALMLEAF to book your reading. 💚

Underneath all the times you said “yes” when you didn’t mean it, the laughing at jokes that hurt you, and the moments you forgot your own needs to keep someone close, there’s something much older than these relationships.

It’s the childhood experience that became your belief of reality early on: the belief that love is conditional.

Maybe when a parent or caretaker wasn’t able to provide the compassion and safety you needed, you quietly took on the responsibility of creating harmony for them. For your own sake.

Maybe there was conflict in the household, which was scary or even dangerous, so you learned that avoiding conflict at all cost would keep you safe.

Maybe your body figured out, before it had words, that smiles created smiles, and that your pain or discomfort created inconvenience for your caretakers. So you learned to only create smiles.

You understood very well that harmony is where love lives. And if there is a disturbance in harmony, you cannot receive love.

As your adult self you continue living based on that template. Believing that love and compassion are transactional currencies. Believing that you have to earn love to get love.

But the truth is: acceptance, love and compassion would be the norm in how people relate to each other. The bare minimum. Unhandled childhood experiences replaced that with a fear of losing connection instead.

Here’s what every wellness account misses about these patterns: you don’t out-think it with insight. You don’t manifest it away. You don’t change it with affirmations. You learn to meet yourself with the compassion you always needed.

And the first step is recognizing the heavy burden you are carrying. Noticing that you are conducting everyone’s mood around you just to feel safe.

You’ve been fighting so hard for so long. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can ease into harmony without having to control everything, and I can show you how.

I’ve put together a free guide for the next time you feel yourself disappearing. Not affirmations. A step-by-step for what to do in your body when the old pattern starts to pull.

DM me SELF and I’ll send it.

Let me explain what I actually meant.

“Strong” doesn’t mean masculine, dominant, intimidating, or hard to be with. It means emotionally mature.

An emotionally mature woman has a defined Self.
She knows her true needs.
She knows her authentic boundaries.
She has done the work to feel her own emotions instead of distracting from them.
She can be intimate without losing herself in it.

The opposite isn’t “small” or “soft.”
It’s emotional immaturity — no defined Self, no defined boundaries, no relationship to one’s True Self.
Just a hunger to be accepted, and a body that looks, acts and goes wherever the acceptance flows.

This applies to women and men equally.

What I see, again and again: a woman who has done the work, who has a defined Self, asks her partner — directly or simply by being who she is — to meet her.
To grow. To develop enough attunement and compassion to create emotional safety in the relationship.

And the man who hasn’t done that work cannot meet her.

So he leaves and finds someone who doesn’t have high emotional standards. Whose Self isn’t yet defined, and who will accept the emotional bare minimum in a relationship.
Not because she’s less, but because she is still afraid of her own emotions and hasn’t matured emotionally either.

He chose the partner who allowed him to stay a child in an adult body.

This is what emotional intelligence and connection to Self actually does — it separates women from girls and men from boys.
Without that inner work, two adults stay children together, and mistake the comfort of mutual immaturity for love.

You weren’t too much.
He wasn’t enough.

You did the work. He didn’t. That’s not your failure. That’s information.

If you keep ending up in this dynamic, the work that ends the pattern starts with you, not with him.

💚 DM me SELF for the free guide.

So many of my clients come to me with issues in relationships, early menopause symptoms, or issues relaxing or unwinding, and a lot of them have one thing in common.
See, healthy relationships need vulnerability, which can only happen in safety. The female body works hard to create everything it needs, but a key requirement for it is also for it to feel safe. Unwinding and relaxing are needs, but again it can only happen if someone’s nervous system feels safe enough.

Let’s be honest; we live in a patriarchal world. Healthcare, sales, and most things are created for research based on men. And while men’s nervous systems work to create different hormones, different processes in that sense, shock is able to confuse the nervous system enough to disarm it. For women, it’s a different story.
Women’s bodies go through bigger changes throughout their lives, and everything is supported by the nervous system. It’s the guard that gives the green light if it feels it’s safe for everything to pass properly.

Any kind of stimulation such as noise, temperature, lighting, or any impulse will make the brain think it’s under threat.
It’s an amazing way our body works, but a sign of threat to the nervous system is not just an impulse.
It causes the body’s red light to turn on which means it is in danger. The body freezes, the muscles tense up, and hold back or slow down some hormones, while prioritizing others to help fight the threat.

As women, ice baths create the perfect atmosphere to be on guard, and that shock doesn’t wear off easily.
Our nervous systems have very specific needs to feel safe for the body to work in a normal, healthy flow.

So instead of believing everything, try tuning into your body, and ask it how it feels.
Not after the shock, when it’s over, of course, that will be amazing... the threat is over.
But while you’re doing your ice bath, eating, walking, listening to music, or being with someone.
Pay close attention to how your body feels.

To find your way back to your body, we learn to create constant safety inside you. That's where I help.

Comment SELF to get my free guide