Rina Deutsch - Within Reach Coaching

So honoured to have had the opportunity to film this message for Momentum leading up to Yom Kippur.

Do you find perfectionism holds you back from making progress sometimes?

And, come on, I gotta know; what's YOUR favourite Jewish holiday?

Following Rosh Hashanah, the ten “Days of Awe” that follow can seem like a lot to handle, as they require self-reflection and atonement. However, it’s important to keep in mind that no one is perfect. Community Leader @rinadeutsch finds these days, and Yom Kippur to be her favorite in the Jewish Calendar. Check out the video to learn more.

So looking forward to this event tomorrow night where I'll be talking about setting realistic and achievable goals for the new Jewish year and how to stick to them! Hope you can join me!!

What haven't YOU done *yet*?

✨I haven't written my book. ✨I haven't finished unpacking all the boxes from my move. ✨I haven't figured out how to incorporate more fun & play into my life. ✨I haven't made a perfect Creme Brule. ✨I haven't finished the 3 books I'm in the middle of reading. ✨I haven't finished washing the dishes from this morning. YET. It's true, some of these things may never happen (my money's on the dishes 😜) but when I end these sentences with the word "yet" instead of just ending them it puts the power back in my hands. They haven't happened yet, but if I keep working towards them and putting the effort into them, they just might. ✨What haven't YOU done *yet*?✨ #lifecoach #lifecoaching #coachforwomen #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #coach #change #notyet #yet #mindset #growthmindset #mindsetshift #yougotthis #women #woman #jewish #jewishwoman #jewishwomen #jewishmother #jewishmom #jewishblogger #jewishteacher #jewsofinstagram #instajewish #instajews #instajew #jewishpride

A couple of caveats here:

1) Having a good relationship with yourself doesn't mean you become self-obsessed, self-righteous, self-centered, or that you don't hold yourself responsible for anything. It means you learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you afford to others and hold yourself appropriately accountable with said kindness and compassion as well.

2) Taking care of yourself deeply includes all aspects of you: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And it doesn't need to come at the cost of taking care of the other people in your life, just make sure you're taking care of yourself too! Investing in yourself the most could mean 5 - 10 minutes more than others on a daily basis, it doesn't need to be anything extreme.

3) Loving yourself can be challenging because noone knows and focuses on your shortcomings the way you do. Learning to get better at meeting yourself where you're at, letting go of perfectionism, and focusing on the loveable parts of yourself the way you would for anyone else you love takes time, intention, and practice, and is well worth all of it!

Honestly, you really are the person you will be spending literally all of your life with; doesn't it make sense to work at improving how you get along with you?

A couple of caveats here: 1) Having a good relationship with yourself doesn't mean you become self-obsessed, self-righteous, self-centered, or that you don't hold yourself responsible for anything. It means you learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you afford to others and hold yourself appropriately accountable with said kindness and compassion as well. 2) Taking care of yourself deeply includes all aspects of you: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And it doesn't need to come at the cost of taking care of the other people in your life, just make sure you're taking care of yourself too! Investing in yourself the most could mean 5 - 10 minutes more than others on a daily basis, it doesn't need to be anything extreme. 3) Loving yourself can be challenging because noone knows and focuses on your shortcomings the way you do. Learning to get better at meeting yourself where you're at, letting go of perfectionism, and focusing on the loveable parts of yourself the way you would for anyone else you love takes time, intention, and practice, and is well worth all of it! Honestly, you really are the person you will be spending literally all of your life with; doesn't it make sense to work at improving how you get along with you? #loveyourself #selfworth #lifecoach #coachforwomen

✨I'm sorry you feel that way *but* I didn't mean to hurt you.✨

✨Thanks for trying *but* next time can you please do it this way?✨

I'm not saying that these statements are awful *and* I'm saying they could be better.

They're not trying to communicate anything hurtful or offensive *and* they still don't feel great to hear.

The "but" in the middle of a sentence subconsciously negates what came before it. So that can make the above statements feel like:

🔹You're too sensitive/have no right to feel that way and I take no accountability for my part in your hurt feelings.
🔹Your effort isn't really appreciated because I didn't get the desired outcome in the way I wanted.

Using "and" in place of "but" accepts and validates the first part of the sentence while also communicating your point of view. That can make the above statements feel like:

🔹 I recognize that you're hurt and that I played a part in it which I didn't intend to do because I care about you and our relationship.
🔹I see that you put in a sincere effort which I appreciate and next time there's a way to do even better.

Next time you find yourself about to say "but", see if you can replace it with "and" and see how it feels for you *and* the person you're communicating with.

Comment AND if you're going to give this a try! And let me know how it goes!

#

✨I'm sorry you feel that way *but* I didn't mean to hurt you.✨ ✨Thanks for trying *but* next time can you please do it this way?✨ I'm not saying that these statements are awful *and* I'm saying they could be better. They're not trying to communicate anything hurtful or offensive *and* they still don't feel great to hear. The "but" in the middle of a sentence subconsciously negates what came before it. So that can make the above statements feel like: 🔹You're too sensitive/have no right to feel that way and I take no accountability for my part in your hurt feelings. 🔹Your effort isn't really appreciated because I didn't get the desired outcome in the way I wanted. Using "and" in place of "but" accepts and validates the first part of the sentence while also communicating your point of view. That can make the above statements feel like: 🔹 I recognize that you're hurt and that I played a part in it which I didn't intend to do because I care about you and our relationship. 🔹I see that you put in a sincere effort which I appreciate and next time there's a way to do even better. Next time you find yourself about to say "but", see if you can replace it with "and" and see how it feels for you *and* the person you're communicating with. Comment AND if you're going to give this a try! And let me know how it goes! #and #dialecticalthinking #dialecticalbehaviortherapy #thisandthat #growthmindset #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #coach #coachforwomen #change #selfworth #selfconcept #selfesteem #jewish #jewishwoman #jewishwomen #jewishmother #jewishmom #jewishblogger #jewishteacher #jewsofinstagram #instajewish #instajews #instajew #jewishpride #process #lifecoach #lifecoaching #

Yizkor.
Remember.
It's hard to remember something you never experienced, people you never met.
As a chutznikit (someone who lives outside of Israel), I always feel like a bit of an imposter on Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha'Atzmaut.
Libi ba mizrach, my heart is in the east.
V'ani b'sof ha ma'arav, and I am all the way in west.
But I am so grateful.
I am so grateful that the state of Israel exists.
I am so grateful to those who fought - and continue to fight - for it.
I am so grateful for their service.
I am so humbled by their sacrifice.
And I am hurting for the cost of being able to live in the land that is ours.
And though I feel like an imposter, I still say ours.
Lamrot she ani b'sof ha ma'arav, although I am all the way in the west.
Libi ba mizrach, my heart is in the east.
My soul is there too.
It's hard to remember something I never experienced, people I never met.
But today, I do.
Remember.
Yizkor.
🇮🇱🩵💔
Thank you to Andi Shenker Saitowitz for the quote.

Yizkor.
Remember.
It's hard to remember something you never experienced, people you never met.
As a chutznikit (someone who lives outside of Israel), I always feel like a bit of an imposter on Yom HaZikaron and Yom Ha'Atzmaut.
Libi ba mizrach, my heart is in the east.
V'ani b'sof ha ma'arav, and I am all the way in west.
But I am so grateful.
I am so grateful that the state of Israel exists.
I am so grateful to those who fought - and continue to fight - for it.
I am so grateful for their service.
I am so humbled by their sacrifice.
And I am hurting for the cost of being able to live in the land that is ours.
And though I feel like an imposter, I still say ours.
Lamrot she ani b'sof ha ma'arav, although I am all the way in the west.
Libi ba mizrach, my heart is in the east.
My soul is there too.
It's hard to remember something I never experienced, people I never met.
But today, I do.
Remember.
Yizkor.
🇮🇱🩵💔

Thank you to for the quote.

NGL, it feels pretty good to be thanked in the acknowledgements of my client's upcoming book. Like, come on, that's kinda cool!

But what feels better, honestly, is that she did it! She wrote the book she had inside her for so long because she pushed past all the things that had been holding her back. All she needed was a little support and she was able to break through the:

➡️Limiting beliefs
➡️Fear of failure
➡️Fear of success
➡️Fear of judgement
➡️Self-doubt
➡️Excuses

The truth is that these are all so normal to experience. Even those who perform at the highest levels face these challenges from time to time, if not on the daily.

Working with a coach can really help you find your way over, around, and through the things that are holding you back from writing that book, pursuing that career, making that change, reaching for that vision, whatever it may be.

DM me to discuss how I can help YOU reach for your vision too!

So excited to be part of the festival:
has put together an incredible line up of presenters, including my good friend , in which I am honoured to be included!

✨What's YOUR word for 2023?✨

Mine is "ENOUGH". As in: 

💠I am enough.
💠 I have enough.
💠I've had enough
💠Good enough is good enough.

I am enough, no matter what arbitrary beauty standards, perfectionist-endorsing social media posts, or that little voice in my head say. My worth is inherent and non-negotiable and while I'm definitely not perfect, I certainly am enough.

I have enough resources, tools, and capabilities to do what I need to do. I'm done with the scarcity mindset and looking for lacking around every corner. If I need it, I have it or I have a way to aquire it, I just need to trust God and do my part. And if after I've done that I still don't have it, maybe I don't actually need it.

I've had enough of my self-limiting beliefs, my fears, and my insecurities. Does that mean they're gone? Aw heck no! I will probably be working on them for the rest of my life (remember: healing is a journey, not a destination) but I've had enough of letting them hold me back. Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's doing the thing in spite of it.

Good enough is good enough. Perfection doesn't exist and I'm not going to waste another minute of my life trying to chase it. I will do my best to do my best, but I will also show myself the compassion to understand when good enough is all I've got and it's actually good enough!

Enough is my word for 2023.

What's yours?

🕯️8 ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs ғᴏʀ 8 ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ɴɪɢʜᴛs 🕯️

Today is the last day of Chanukah.

It's a funny thing; once we're conscious and properly aware, we usually know when something is a "first". The first time riding a two-wheeler bike, the first time losing a tooth, the first day of school, the first time driving, the first paycheck.

But, and without being all morbid, we don't always get to know when something will be a "last". The last time a baby will crawl before becoming a fully upright walker, the last time a group of friends will be able to spend the summer together, the last chance to buy that cute skirt at Winners (life tip: just buy it! You can always return it if you change your mind), the last time to see or say "I love you" to someone special.

This thought can either be entirely depressing or it can be incredibly empowering. We can be sad and afraid about the uncertainty of the future or we can embrace it and try to make each moment count as if it's the last.

Though we see the last day of Chanukah coming very clearly, we recognize the power of it. In fact, the last day of is known as Zos Chanukah, *this* is Chanukah. In its full, blazing glory, all 8 branches of the Chanukia alight, we try to use this last as a launch pad into the future, brightened, strengthened, inspired, ready to face the future with a new light.

Maybe this last day of Chanukah will give us the resolve to live a prouder, more connected Jewish life, a more intentional life, a more aware and regulated life, one in which we try to cherish the special moments and people a little bit more, live fully into ourselves, and find a way to allow our flame to burn bright, giving light and warmth to ourselves, others and the world around us.

Call me crazy, but that's what I'm thinking about on this 8th crazy night.