Roots and Wings Childhood

If you have tried everything and feel defeated you are in the right place. May this be a soft place to land.

My approach is different than anything else out there. So welcome, and cue the exhale.

The Roots and Wings Method is based on 25 years of experience working with children and families.

If you care about credentials, I have a Masters degree from Griffith, leadership training from Harvard and certifications in trauma-informed parent coaching, maternal mental health and more.

I have led school departments, executive teams and hundreds of families toward finding clarity and building confidence.

The deepest learning and growth comes from my experience in my home raising myself alongside my two daughters.

I am in the trenches right along side you. And wrote about it in Sovereign Motherhood and Motherhood Expanded.

I believe that
Childhood needs to be honoured
Motherhood is a sacred portal
Parenting begins with us
Our minds are our biggest barrier
Behaviour is communication
Our capacity needs to be protected
Relationships are most important
It’s never too late

If you don’t have time to read the best books and podcasts, coaching is for you. My personalized approach is a fast track towards sturdy leadership so you can not only know what is going to work but EMBODY and INTEGRATE those pieces in the moments that matter.

I work with smart, busy, professionals who care deeply about their highly-sensitive children and have a desire to do their very best to break generational patterns, show up consistently and find the sweet spot between gentle and strict.

I love beauty and look for it everywhere. Even in homes that feel broken and chaotic. This is a non-judgemental space.

You are welcome here. Exactly as you are.
Learn more www.rootsandwingsmethod.com 🤍

Hi, so glad you are here.
My DM’s are always open and I handle all messages myself so it will always be me you are talking to. (I think that’s important)
I value trust and integrity which means no AI here on this page. Never say never but this is my life’s work and it is my art and my craft. You’re too important to me. Relationship is at the heart of everything I do.
If you want to learn how to learn how to lead yourself, your life and your family through a lens of secure attachment, nervous system regulation and brain science stick around. XO

I coregulate with my clients so they can coregulate with their children, homes, families, businesses, communities. 🙏🏻

If you enter into the weekend remembering one thing, let it be this. Protect the gaze.

Eye contact is one of the fastest, easiest, cheapest co-regulation tools that you can access. Our children are so thirsty for our attention and presence and connection. All they need is to be seen by their primary attachment figure. Here are some very practical, simple and highly effective ways to increase eye contact and protect the gaze.

👁️ notice when your child enters your space, let your eyes light up, delight in them
👁️ stop working before your child comes through the door or jumps in your car at the end of their school day
👁️ put your phone down if your child enters the room you are in to show them they matter and you are attuned
👁️ look at your child when they are speaking and resist the need to always multitask
👁️ intentionally seek eye contact during your child’s sports, busy group activities, public events
👁️ prioritize eye contact right before they fall asleep and first thing when they wake up

Protecting the gaze you have with your child is an anchor. It doesn’t matter if you have a toddler or a teen. They can’t wait for you to lock it in. Small amounts, consistently. Give this a try and let me know how it goes!

Save and share this post and send to your partner so you can hold this intention for and with each other. Homes with increased eye contact are connected, happy homes.

June is wild. Every year I note this and blurprint it into our family systems. Kids are done teachers are done parents are done. Hanging on by a thread. As adults we are here to lead, model what pace looks like. Define our boundaries. Lean into self care instead of the badge of chaos. I used to do chaos and now I protect my peace.

Here are the grounding techniques we use in our home for June.

Built in “home days” for everyone. Weekend are full so we proactively build rest and reset into the week. Yes your kids can miss school, nothing will happen. You are in charge.

Intentionally movement. It’s non-negotiable for all four of us to be outdoors after dinner. Movement will help to processes and release emotion stored in the body. Yes sometimes my kids complain about this. Pushback is normal and I don’t take it personally. My kids know what’s important to us and we know how to hold a firm and kind boundary.

We cook dinner and sit together. It would be easier to grab food on the go or let it slide because other things are falling apart. But this is the foundation for building healthy brains. It starts in the kitchen. I love my family with healthy food. I don’t cut corners here because it makes everything else easier: moods, sleep, focus.

Sleep is key. Even when the sun is up longer we keep an early bedtime. My kids rest into their routine and knowing what is expected. I fall asleep with them every night. It’s the best part of our day. Habits that will build the architecture of their bodies and carry them through stress.

Scrub the calendar. This is my zone of genius, I time block everything. I know exactly what I’m saying yes and no to. Nothing is coming from obligation. We review the family calendar monthly weekly to see what makes sense. We build in intention. For us, this means no sports for summer. More fluid rhythms are designed to reflect the season.

Clear communication. Our girls know where everyone is, and how the moving pieces work together. We talk openly about problem solving and critical thinking. We discuss the “plan for the day” and hold space for individual and collective needs.

How are you doing this month?? How do you navigate June?? 🤍

Yesterday I celebrated 44 years and feel absolutely grateful for the overwhelming depth of love I have in my life. Reflecting on the past year and the blessings. I have never felt so alive and so rooted in my mission as a mother, wife, business owner, human.
Some of the beautiful highlights:
🤍sharing a stage with colleague, friend, mentor .vanessalapointe
🤍work travel and bringing Roots & Wings to Toronto and Alberta
🤍shared time with whom I adore, meeting her family and the feeling of walking into her innovative childcare centre .inc after consulting with her on this dream and mission since 2022
🤍writing a book that amplifies the voices of mothers and mothers and watching it hit best seller status in multiple categories in the first 24 hours
🤍watching my eldest daughter turn 13, first solo flight, first phone, first concert
🤍standing in the wedding chapel with my parents to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary
🤍being interviewed by after following her work and being a huge fan of hers
🤍enjoying food prepared by at her home and remembering why Nova Scotia is so delicious
🤍collaborating with the wonderful to bring her art and vision to Canada through
🤍visiting with my dear friend and client Allison and walking her land and sharing a meal with her after years of coaching her family and being a witness to her transformation
🤍bucket-list photo shoot with the talented
🤍watching my husband Graham graduate with his Masters of Educational Leadership and kill it at his first year being principal (he also happens to be an incredible leader in our home)
🤍plenty of travel, cuddles, slow mornings and precious friends and family

This can feel impossible. When your mind says stay but your body says run.
I teach mothers how to anchor. Because when we learn to be with our children we offer them a safe harbour. The kind of quiet leadership that allows our children to rest. Rest in our predictability, rest in our unconditional love, rest in our non-judgement, rest in our consistent boundaries, rest in my protection and my knowing.
I taught this to myself and I want this for every mother on the planet. Sometimes my body still shakes in the tension of what my pattern is and what I choose. But I keep choosing every damn day.

Our physical and emotional environment matters. About 6 years ago when I started getting deeper into this work I focused on my home because I knew at the end of the day, all I could really control was what was happening within the four walls of my home. Huge responsibility right? Huge opportunity too!

To me an emotionally safe home is a space where all feelings are allowed and all behaviours are not. Learning how to be emotionally intelligent is challenging and it takes lots of practice, just like learning a whole new language. Especially since most of us didn’t receive a template or modelling for this. At first it might feel pretty awkward and we trip up alot. But like flexing any muscle, with reps it gets easier and more automatic.

Here are some important qualities of an emotionally safe home
-ability to speak your truth out loud
-adults taking responsibility for their feelings
-the family unit rests in predictability
-no need to scan your environment for threats
-an understanding that you can get through anything
-a practice of anchoring to offer co-regulation
-a growing capacity for discomfort, sitting in the mess, “riding the wave”
-play, joy, levity
-healthy cycles of rupture and repair

How do we do this?
1. By making a decision that this is what we want (check in with yourself about worthiness blocks here)
2. Growing our awareness for what is truly possible
3. Resourcing ourselves, finding examples of those who are committed to this work
4. Working with someone that sees light and hope in us, even on the darkest days
5. Commitment to showing up every day and moving the needle 1% consistently (not perfectly, consistently)

If you are ready to take the first step- I’m ready to show you how simple this gets to be. Send me a message and my custom approach considers you and your unique needs. No generic program, just a proven method that feels both honouring and empowering!